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OP, it's not confusing at all as you can see from everyone's response. I'd categorize it exactly the way Daffodil does...on-demand booty call. He's not interested in "dating" you. I'm not sure where your confusion comes in, it's somewhat baffling. Maybe you're projecting the feelings you have onto him?
You can do what you'd like, but since you are wrapped up in this emotionally, I would just ghost him. Don't worry, he'll understand and move on to someone else who will play this role for him. The come cuddle thing is him saying I'm not going to date you, but I will sleep with you. He's seeing if you are going to go for this. It's not confusing at all.
Should I hang out with him as friends? Hoping it turns into a relationship? What if he really does just need time and friendship right now and Im sitting here thinking hes just using me?
If he needed time and friendship that would not include sex and cuddling.
Do you want to be FWB hoping it will change while he has the freedom to see other people? You can't ask him if he is, you can't bug him about not making plans with you, none of that.
I don't think you can. I don't think you want to.
You think you want to because your emotions are tied up with him and you want it to go back to how it was.
Well I am respecting his wishes. I told him bye, basically. But he literally just texted me like 15 minutes ago again saying "Come cuddle" with a sad face emoji?
Ok, all this tells me is that he doesn't even respect your boundaries. You told him you basically don't want to be friends with benefits, and then he goes and texts you "come cuddle" it's just rude at this point.
If you don't want to delete him on instagram, at least mute his posts so you don't see them. I believe what he told you is true he is not ready for a relationship, you did nothing wrong just sounds like you were the rebound. When a guy comes on too strong in the beginning (which seems like he did) it's always a red flag, more often than not they're trying to fill a void (in this case the void his ex gf left).
I wouldn't respond to his texts, unless it is to tell him not to text you anymore.
if you are considering having sex with a guy in the hopes he'll want to become your boyfriend - you're going to have a bad time. That's what my mother taught my sisters as soon as they became teenagers.
If I want to date you, if I want to be in a romantic relationship with you, I will let you know. If I'm interested in a friendships with benefits I won't talk about exclusivity. In fact, I will keep our interactions as less emotionally charged as possible.
Move on. There's plenty of other guys out there you'll take a liking to, and who will want you the same way as you want them. As a girlfriend.
Should I hang out with him as friends? Hoping it turns into a relationship? What if he really does just need time and friendship right now and Im sitting here thinking hes just using me?
Why would you want to do that? he sounds like a TERRIBLE friend.
You sound young, which doesn't really matter. A little life experience would help a lot in this matter. From a guys perspective who has been there, just not after only two months of being broken up.
He is in the stage where he thought he was over her but when she came back for her stuff, it was just like going thru the original breakup again. Now it is final, she has her stuff. He is hurt and confused. You cant count on him. Money probs don't help.
You have two choices. Be the FWB till he figures out where his heads at and what he wants, or tell him you can't be just friends and move on.
Could be if your there for him and can be a NO PRESSURE friend it may work out. When I went thru this. The minute someone put pressure on me with phone calls or texts, or bugged the **** out of me because i didn't respond right away, i ended the relationship.
A guy just out of a relationship that ended badly has all kinds of things going thru his head and pressure doesn't help. He needs to move at his pace. He shouldn't even be dating yet.
Exactly spot on. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy. You were his rebound and the key to what Bearsdad said was this: "she came back for her stuff, it was just like going thru the original breakup again." Been there, done that. He wasn't in touch with his feelings until she showed up again. He needs alone time. Up to you whether you want to take a risk with this guy, but I vote no.
Why would you want to do that? he sounds like a TERRIBLE friend.
Because she's young and she's very physically attracted to him and it's hard for young people to differentiate from lust and what's traditionally defined as love?
Or she feels like there's something about her(and yes, there's plenty of very attractive young women with low self-esteem) that makes her unworthy of getting the kind of relationship that she wants?
Or maybe this was the first guy she's ever been with. I have no idea why she wants him.
Hard to do but this situation warrants it. Breaking off on her about suffocating him. Excuses about why can't be in a relationship. Then jumping to but lets keep having sex, I want to keep getting what I want w/o being beholden to you in any way, and I may or may not see other people?
That last part, wow. Keeping the sex supply while he either shops for a new gf or he wants to sleep around.
Exactly spot on. Doesn't mean he's a bad guy. You were his rebound and the key to what Bearsdad said was this: "she came back for her stuff, it was just like going thru the original breakup again." Been there, done that. He wasn't in touch with his feelings until she showed up again. He needs alone time. Up to you whether you want to take a risk with this guy, but I vote no.
He’s a bad guy. He told her he does not want a relationship. She said she does not want to be in a FWB relationship but then he immediately texts her to ask for a “cuddle”- not respecting her boundaries.
It is absolutely fine to not be ready to date. It is not okay to not respect her boundaries and keep on expecting her to be an on-demand booty call when she has said upfront that she does not want that.
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