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Old 05-30-2020, 04:14 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,608,099 times
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So this is not about igniting a fire for the first time, it's about RE-igniting a fire that was once there a while ago. The story goes, you met the first time, there was FIRE and then things ended and you both went your separate ways and had other relationships, but those didn't work out either, and now the other person wants to reunite again but you are unable to because you've already gone through the process of replacing that person in your heart/mind, and this feeling just can't be restored. Anyone else ever feel this way if an ex tries to come back when you both are single again? Like you just don't feel anything for them anymore, not because they did anything wrong to you, but because someone else took up their space in your heart? I only have space for one guy at a time and it's not recyclable.


Am I crazy or what? I just wonder how some people are able to keep recycling. I feel like they must not have felt real love for one or the other then.
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Old 05-30-2020, 04:43 PM
 
Location: In a place beyond human comprehension
8,920 posts, read 7,693,227 times
Reputation: 16655
Just because an opportunity presents itself doesn't mean you should take it. Some people seem to have this idea in their head that if an opportunity for love comes knocking...you need to take it. Even if you don't think you feel anything for the person. Take a chance anyway, because love is worth it. Yeah no. I'm not one of those people. Once you move on, you move on. It isn't that serious and never will be. Also we can't decide whether or not two people are in love, just because they may or may not run back to an ex. You just live your life.
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Old 05-30-2020, 04:45 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,608,099 times
Reputation: 12334
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea View Post
Just because an opportunity presents itself doesn't mean you should take it. Some people seem to have this idea in their head that if an opportunity for love comes knocking...you need to take it.

Yeah I think you're right.
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Old 05-30-2020, 06:31 PM
 
Location: VA, IL, FL, SD, TN, NC, SC
1,417 posts, read 730,197 times
Reputation: 3439
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post
So this is not about igniting a fire for the first time, it's about RE-igniting a fire that was once there a while ago. The story goes, you met the first time, there was FIRE and then things ended and you both went your separate ways and had other relationships, but those didn't work out either, and now the other person wants to reunite again but you are unable to because you've already gone through the process of replacing that person in your heart/mind, and this feeling just can't be restored. Anyone else ever feel this way if an ex tries to come back when you both are single again? Like you just don't feel anything for them anymore, not because they did anything wrong to you, but because someone else took up their space in your heart? I only have space for one guy at a time and it's not recyclable.


Am I crazy or what? I just wonder how some people are able to keep recycling. I feel like they must not have felt real love for one or the other then.
I'll be in the dissent. I would question the actual depth and reality of the feelings someone had the first time around if the feeling cannot be recaptured. If your innate feelings has softened I would suspect the reason you think you liked the person then had more to do your life then, and what was in your life, as opposed to the person.

See this post for additional details:

https://www.city-data.com/forum/58109362-post5.html

Last edited by GhostOfAndrewJackson; 05-30-2020 at 07:50 PM..
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Old 05-30-2020, 06:46 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,608,099 times
Reputation: 12334
Quote:
Originally Posted by GhostOfAndrewJackson View Post
I'll be in the dissent. I would question the actual depth and reality of the feelings someone had the first time around if the feeling cannot be recaptured. If your innate feelings has softened I would suspect the reason you think you liked the person then had more to do your life then, and what was in your life, as opposed to the person.

See this post ofr additional details:

https://www.city-data.com/forum/58109362-post5.html

Okay. That's a fair point. I don't know what the right answer is.
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Old 05-30-2020, 07:05 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,761,388 times
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Usually whenever I ran into an ex after the breakup, regardless of the intensity of the fire we had, I am immediately reminded why they are an ex.
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Old 05-30-2020, 07:09 PM
 
3,403 posts, read 3,561,250 times
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There is no right or wrong in your situation. Is simply how you going to choose and move forward. If you don’t have the same feeling, then you don’t. Nothing can be done about it. There is nothing weird about it simply because everyone else can recycle but you can’t.

Live your own life and don’t worry about what the majority people would or would not do.

You sounds like an amazing person. I wish you good luck in life.
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Old 05-30-2020, 07:12 PM
 
15,013 posts, read 21,608,099 times
Reputation: 12334
Quote:
Originally Posted by nybklyn View Post
There is no right or wrong in your situation. Is simply how you going to choose and move forward. If you don’t have the same feeling, then you don’t. Nothing can be done about it. There is nothing weird about it simply because everyone else can recycle but you can’t.

Live your own life and don’t worry about what the majority people would or would not do.

You sounds like an amazing person. I wish you good luck in life.

Thank you, that's very kind of you.
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Old 05-30-2020, 10:51 PM
 
1,350 posts, read 814,397 times
Reputation: 2648
Quote:
Originally Posted by srjth View Post

Am I crazy or what? I just wonder how some people are able to keep recycling. I feel like they must not have felt real love for one or the other then.
I think some guys contact an ex because it's just easier and less work for them, to call up someone from their past, than to go out looking for a new person. They know what pushes your buttons. They know what you used to like, and what they can say, that will work on you to go back to them. Call it laziness maybe.

Probably wouldn't last long. Old problems from the previous relationship you had will come up again.
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Old 05-31-2020, 12:03 AM
 
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
16,961 posts, read 17,290,577 times
Reputation: 30257
For me, getting back with an ex is like digging in a dumpster.

Some people love dumpster diving.
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