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The OP doesn’t sound like he’s creepy. He’s young and probably not very experienced. Look at all the guys right here are always cautioning men to avoid women in the work place, don’t approach because you WILL be considered a creep. You’ll be charged with sexual harassment, you will be fired, you’ll get pepper sprayed, She’ll punch you in the face.....
I think that a couple of you are are doing exactly the same thing by calling him creepy for merely asking for advice. Would you offer the same if his question was about approaching
someone in person rather than via social media?
Well, it seemed he was calling himself creepy... which I don't really understand.
There are a million ways to speak to other people, in real life and via social media, that will never be construed as creepy. I am assuming that OP has these very basic capabilities. Presumably he has made friends, spoken with teachers, gotten along with coworkers, etc.
I just wonder if he finds his own feelings about this stranger to be...unsavory? Like is he objectifying her and bringing her into his sexual fantasies? And now he feels weird and guilty about actually speaking to her as a person?
Well, it seemed he was calling himself creepy... which I don't really understand.
There are a million ways to speak to other people, in real life and via social media, that will never be construed as creepy. I am assuming that OP has these very basic capabilities. Presumably he has made friends, spoken with teachers, gotten along with coworkers, etc.
I just wonder if he finds his own feelings about this stranger to be...unsavory? Like is he objectifying her and bringing her into his sexual fantasies? And now he feels weird and guilty about actually speaking to her as a person?
That's the only thing I can think of.
Perhaps he’s just socially awkward. Seems to me he was saying that he wanted to contact the girl, but was worried about coming off as creepy. ( inexperience perhaps) Hard to blame him with so many (especially younger guys) warning others of the pitfalls of approaching a woman these days. Me too, being accused of sexual harassment, etc,etc.
Come on now... objectifying? He finds her attractive! What’s wrong with that? Sexual fantasies? Lol Now you’re moving the goal posts.
Just look at what you are saying.... no wonder he’s worried. You’ve got him painted as some kind of weirdo, when he’s said or done nothing weird or creepy. Your own knee jerk reaction
Was... he’s a creep. Seems like you’re saying that he’d be a creep for approaching her. How are people supposed to get together if they don’t approach?
If he makes the approach and she rejects him, and he can’t take no for an answer and continues to chase her.... that’s a different story.
Perhaps he’s just socially awkward. Seems to me he was saying that he wanted to contact the girl, but was worried about coming off as creepy. ( inexperience perhaps) Hard to blame him with so many (especially younger guys) warning others of the pitfalls of approaching a woman these days. Me too, being accused of sexual harassment, etc,etc.
Come on now... objectifying? He finds her attractive! What’s wrong with that? Sexual fantasies? Lol Now you’re moving the goal posts.
Just look at what you are saying.... no wonder he’s worried. You’ve got him painted as some kind of weirdo, when he’s said or done nothing weird or creepy. Your own knee jerk reaction
Was... he’s a creep. Seems like you’re saying that he’d be a creep for approaching her. How are people supposed to get together if they don’t approach?
If he makes the approach and she rejects him, and he can’t take no for an answer and continues to chase her.... that’s a different story.
I don't think this thread is making him paranoid...he started this thread paranoid. You're right, he has not done anything weird or creepy, but he's feeling weird and creepy. I take people's feelings very seriously.
His feelings are red flags to himself, about his own self. For some reason, he is not feeling aligned with his behavior he's wanting to do. The problem is not whether or not he is thinking sexual thoughts. Or if he wants sex with her. The problem is he's thinking something about which he doesn't feel right. That's why he feels creepy. He's being a creep in his own mind, per his own consciousness. You seem to think that by exploring his self-proclaimed creepiness, I'm personally labeling him a creep. I invite you to read this thread again and see if you get a deeper perspective.
In order to not feel creepy, he has to acknowledge to himself what he's thinking and wanting, and approach the woman with his clarity about himself in his own mind. He has to align with his true intentions. If he were really interested in her interests, he would feel joy at approaching her and saying "Hey, I love all this stuff too!" (or whatever), he wouldn't feel creepy. Genuine, authenticity....these things are pure and don't feel like creepiness.
Men often wonder why some men are so successful than other men with women. There are endless posts asking how to be more successful with women. I will always tell each man the same thing. Align fully with your true intentions and desires. Otherwise your vibration is mixed, and when a man approaches a woman with mixed vibrations, it is not attractive, except to a woman with mixed vibrations. Which always leads to another "help!" thread.
At least among male CD OPs, there seems to exist a driving desire for sex without intimacy or relationship. OK. That's completely valid in and of itself. (Although I have yet to meet a man with these pure desires who is not objectifying women, but if they are aligned with the objectification, they meet women who objectify the men right back, and no drama, pure mutual pleasure). A man's vibration as he approaches can be a pure desire for sex, and if he is fully aligned with that in himself, meaning he's approaching it with joy and openness, he will be far more successful in casual sex than a man who has a mixed vibration that also includes fear or dishonesty or guilt about wanting just sex but needing "a cover" behavior, like feigning interest in other facets of her, or trying to tear down her own values.
There's been several threads about "convincing women" to have sex. The men who are posting these are very mixed in their vibration, and ultimately, they will always struggle, have to work much harder to get what they want, and that is just because they aren't aligned with their own desires. Because this requires hard, honest work inwards, and it's just way more fun and easy to look for mixed vibration females and play out their mixed vibration drama. I am still astonished by the mediocre results people settle for, rinse and repeat.
IMO, the worst advice you can give a young male who is saying "I feel creepy!" is telling them to just go ahead and approach the woman to whom they are feeling creepy, without him transcending those feelings by examining them! "Sure, ignore your red flags, don't listen to your gut, just go get her!"
Last edited by typical_guinea_pig; 06-01-2020 at 08:55 PM..
I don't think this thread is making him paranoid...he started this thread paranoid. You're right, he has not done anything weird or creepy, but he's feeling weird and creepy. I take people's feelings very seriously.
His feelings are red flags to himself, about his own self. For some reason, he is not feeling aligned with his behavior he's wanting to do. The problem is not whether or not he is thinking sexual thoughts. Or if he wants sex with her. The problem is he's thinking something about which he doesn't feel right. That's why he feels creepy. He's being a creep in his own mind, per his own consciousness. You seem to think that by exploring his self-proclaimed creepiness, I'm personally labeling him a creep. I invite you to read this thread again and see if you get a deeper perspective.
In order to not feel creepy, he has to acknowledge to himself what he's thinking and wanting, and approach the woman with his clarity about himself in his own mind. He has to align with his true intentions. If he were really interested in her interests, he would feel joy at approaching her and saying "Hey, I love all this stuff too!" (or whatever), he wouldn't feel creepy. Genuine, authenticity....these things are pure and don't feel like creepiness.
Men often wonder why some men are so successful than other men with women. There are endless posts asking how to be more successful with women. I will always tell each man the same thing. Align fully with your true intentions and desires. Otherwise your vibration is mixed, and when a man approaches a woman with mixed vibrations, it is not attractive, except to a woman with mixed vibrations. Which always leads to another "help!" thread.
At least among male CD OPs, there seems to exist a driving desire for sex without intimacy or relationship. OK. That's completely valid in and of itself. A man's vibration as he approaches can be a pure desire for sex, and if he is fully aligned with that in himself, meaning he's approaching it with joy and openness, he will be far more successful in casual sex than a man who has a mixed vibration that also includes fear or dishonesty or guilt about wanting just sex but needing "a cover" behavior, like feigning interest in other facets of her, or trying to tear down her own values.
There's been several threads about "convincing women" to have sex. The men who are posting these are very mixed in their vibration, and ultimately, they will always struggle, have to work much harder to get what they want, and that is just because they aren't aligned with their own desires. Because this requires hard, honest work inwards, and it's just way more fun and easy to look for mixed vibration females and play out their mixed vibration drama.
IMO, the worst advice you can give a young male who is saying "I feel creepy!" is telling them to just go ahead and approach the woman to whom they are feeling creepy, without him transcending those feelings by examining them! "Sure, ignore your red flags, don't listen to your gut, just go get her!"
You’re wayyyy over thinking this. He has no clue how to approach her....obviously. And as I’ve said like 3 already. He’s unsure and is worried that “she” may think he’s being a weirdo/creepy for approaching her.....PERIOD, not because he actually thinks he’s creepy/strange or stalk-ish.
A perfect example is the other poster whom I’ve been quoting. Her knee jerk reaction to simply wanting to approach her.... labeled him a creep and asked about his creepy behavior.
And yes I absolutely think that if he wants to try and meet her .. he should give it a shot. Perhaps he will see that that she doesn’t actually think he’s being a jerk for simply approaching her. You miss 100% of the balls that you don’t swing at, and rejection won’t kill you. He never said he “felt” creepy... he is worried that she will think his attempt to contact her as creepy. And with reply’s like the one I quoted...who can blame the poor kid?
You’re wayyyy over thinking this. He has no clue how to approach her....obviously. And as I’ve said like 3 already. He’s unsure and is worried that “she” may think he’s being a weirdo/creepy for approaching her.....PERIOD, not because he actually thinks he’s creepy/strange or stalk-ish.
A perfect example is the other poster whom I’ve been quoting. Her knee jerk reaction to simply wanting to approach her.... labeled him a creep and asked about his creepy behavior.
And yes I absolutely think that if he wants to try and meet her .. he should give it a shot. Perhaps he will see that that she doesn’t actually think he’s being a jerk for simply approaching her. You miss 100% of the balls that you don’t swing at, and rejection won’t kill you. He never said he “felt” creepy... he is worried that she will think his attempt to contact her as creepy. And with reply’s like the one I quoted...who can blame the poor kid?
You may be absolutely right about the OP. I'm only basing my response on what I have perceived from one post.
However, I don't agree that I'm "overthinking".
Is there a level of thinking to which you would feel more comfortable with me reducing my response and personal opinion?
Just because I think of this in a different way than you, and it exceeds your comfort level on the topic, does that mean I should stop speaking? And thinking? Maybe you are overeading the thread, if it's so banal and not worth of deep perspective.
What is going on in your thoughts relatedly that you're avoiding, that you want me to stop thinking about a post in which you are not the OP? Why is my deep thinking bothering you?
My opinion is that most people don't think about this stuff nearly enough. I understand your milage varies. And I think all perspectives----the perspectives of every single member who has posted here--- are invaluable to this thread. This thread goes far beyond this OPs dilemma, whatever that truly is. Only he knows for sure. But the thread is for posterity, for anyone who comes and reads for as long as CD is here.
Again, you may be right. Only the OP knows what resonates with him or not. But for your perspective that I'm overthinking, thank you but no thank you.
Last edited by typical_guinea_pig; 06-01-2020 at 09:59 PM..
Reason: clarity
I don't think this thread is making him paranoid...he started this thread paranoid. You're right, he has not done anything weird or creepy, but he's feeling weird and creepy. I take people's feelings very seriously.
His feelings are red flags to himself, about his own self. For some reason, he is not feeling aligned with his behavior he's wanting to do. The problem is not whether or not he is thinking sexual thoughts. Or if he wants sex with her. The problem is he's thinking something about which he doesn't feel right. That's why he feels creepy. He's being a creep in his own mind, per his own consciousness. You seem to think that by exploring his self-proclaimed creepiness, I'm personally labeling him a creep. I invite you to read this thread again and see if you get a deeper perspective.
In order to not feel creepy, he has to acknowledge to himself what he's thinking and wanting, and approach the woman with his clarity about himself in his own mind. He has to align with his true intentions. If he were really interested in her interests, he would feel joy at approaching her and saying "Hey, I love all this stuff too!" (or whatever), he wouldn't feel creepy. Genuine, authenticity....these things are pure and don't feel like creepiness.
Men often wonder why some men are so successful than other men with women. There are endless posts asking how to be more successful with women. I will always tell each man the same thing. Align fully with your true intentions and desires. Otherwise your vibration is mixed, and when a man approaches a woman with mixed vibrations, it is not attractive, except to a woman with mixed vibrations. Which always leads to another "help!" thread.
At least among male CD OPs, there seems to exist a driving desire for sex without intimacy or relationship. OK. That's completely valid in and of itself. (Although I have yet to meet a man with these pure desires who is not objectifying women, but if they are aligned with the objectification, they meet women who objectify the men right back, and no drama, pure mutual pleasure). A man's vibration as he approaches can be a pure desire for sex, and if he is fully aligned with that in himself, meaning he's approaching it with joy and openness, he will be far more successful in casual sex than a man who has a mixed vibration that also includes fear or dishonesty or guilt about wanting just sex but needing "a cover" behavior, like feigning interest in other facets of her, or trying to tear down her own values.
There's been several threads about "convincing women" to have sex. The men who are posting these are very mixed in their vibration, and ultimately, they will always struggle, have to work much harder to get what they want, and that is just because they aren't aligned with their own desires. Because this requires hard, honest work inwards, and it's just way more fun and easy to look for mixed vibration females and play out their mixed vibration drama. I am still astonished by the mediocre results people settle for, rinse and repeat.
IMO, the worst advice you can give a young male who is saying "I feel creepy!" is telling them to just go ahead and approach the woman to whom they are feeling creepy, without him transcending those feelings by examining them! "Sure, ignore your red flags, don't listen to your gut, just go get her!"
Exactly. Thank you. He was concerned enough to take the step of creating an account and posting to a bunch if strangers. He wants to examine himself but needs the perspective of strangers. Obviously this is a thing. Not nothing.
You’re wayyyy over thinking this. He has no clue how to approach her....obviously. And as I’ve said like 3 already. He’s unsure and is worried that “she” may think he’s being a weirdo/creepy for approaching her.....PERIOD, not because he actually thinks he’s creepy/strange or stalk-ish.
A perfect example is the other poster whom I’ve been quoting. Her knee jerk reaction to simply wanting to approach her.... labeled him a creep and asked about his creepy behavior.
And yes I absolutely think that if he wants to try and meet her .. he should give it a shot. Perhaps he will see that that she doesn’t actually think he’s being a jerk for simply approaching her. You miss 100% of the balls that you don’t swing at, and rejection won’t kill you. He never said he “felt” creepy... he is worried that she will think his attempt to contact her as creepy. And with reply’s like the one I quoted...who can blame the poor kid?
I don't think this thread is making him paranoid...he started this thread paranoid. You're right, he has not done anything weird or creepy, but he's feeling weird and creepy. I take people's feelings very seriously.
His feelings are red flags to himself, about his own self. For some reason, he is not feeling aligned with his behavior he's wanting to do. The problem is not whether or not he is thinking sexual thoughts. Or if he wants sex with her. The problem is he's thinking something about which he doesn't feel right. That's why he feels creepy. He's being a creep in his own mind, per his own consciousness. You seem to think that by exploring his self-proclaimed creepiness, I'm personally labeling him a creep. I invite you to read this thread again and see if you get a deeper perspective.
In order to not feel creepy, he has to acknowledge to himself what he's thinking and wanting, and approach the woman with his clarity about himself in his own mind. He has to align with his true intentions. If he were really interested in her interests, he would feel joy at approaching her and saying "Hey, I love all this stuff too!" (or whatever), he wouldn't feel creepy. Genuine, authenticity....these things are pure and don't feel like creepiness.
Men often wonder why some men are so successful than other men with women. There are endless posts asking how to be more successful with women. I will always tell each man the same thing. Align fully with your true intentions and desires. Otherwise your vibration is mixed, and when a man approaches a woman with mixed vibrations, it is not attractive, except to a woman with mixed vibrations. Which always leads to another "help!" thread.
At least among male CD OPs, there seems to exist a driving desire for sex without intimacy or relationship. OK. That's completely valid in and of itself. (Although I have yet to meet a man with these pure desires who is not objectifying women, but if they are aligned with the objectification, they meet women who objectify the men right back, and no drama, pure mutual pleasure). A man's vibration as he approaches can be a pure desire for sex, and if he is fully aligned with that in himself, meaning he's approaching it with joy and openness, he will be far more successful in casual sex than a man who has a mixed vibration that also includes fear or dishonesty or guilt about wanting just sex but needing "a cover" behavior, like feigning interest in other facets of her, or trying to tear down her own values.
There's been several threads about "convincing women" to have sex. The men who are posting these are very mixed in their vibration, and ultimately, they will always struggle, have to work much harder to get what they want, and that is just because they aren't aligned with their own desires. Because this requires hard, honest work inwards, and it's just way more fun and easy to look for mixed vibration females and play out their mixed vibration drama. I am still astonished by the mediocre results people settle for, rinse and repeat.
IMO, the worst advice you can give a young male who is saying "I feel creepy!" is telling them to just go ahead and approach the woman to whom they are feeling creepy, without him transcending those feelings by examining them! "Sure, ignore your red flags, don't listen to your gut, just go get her!"
But it always feels creepy for a man to approach a woman who she doesn't know for a date. Unless she was giving clear signals first. And that's when it's best for a man to ask for a date. Even better is when is first at least an acquaintance.
But it always feels creepy for a man to approach a woman who she doesn't know for a date. Unless she was giving clear signals first. And that's when it's best for a man to ask for a date. Even better is when is first at least an acquaintance.
He didn't say he was approaching her for a date. That would be stupid.
He needs to become friendly with her first. There are a million ways for people to build rapport with each other without being the slightest bit creepy.
If he is unable to do that... not sure how anyone can help.
You’re wayyyy over thinking this. He has no clue how to approach her....obviously. And as I’ve said like 3 already. He’s unsure and is worried that “she” may think he’s being a weirdo/creepy for approaching her.....PERIOD, not because he actually thinks he’s creepy/strange or stalk-ish.
A perfect example is the other poster whom I’ve been quoting. Her knee jerk reaction to simply wanting to approach her.... labeled him a creep and asked about his creepy behavior.
And yes I absolutely think that if he wants to try and meet her .. he should give it a shot. Perhaps he will see that that she doesn’t actually think he’s being a jerk for simply approaching her. You miss 100% of the balls that you don’t swing at, and rejection won’t kill you. He never said he “felt” creepy... he is worried that she will think his attempt to contact her as creepy. And with reply’s like the one I quoted...who can blame the poor kid?
I tend to agree. I have 3 children and using social media to meet someone is pretty common in their experiences, so it's not an odd thing to do. But if the OP doesn't have much experience with it, he might naturally be a little apprehensive.
Then some people, men and women, use the words "creep" or "creepy" pretty loosely. I don't think they always mean Harvey Weinstein level creepy or anything close to that.
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