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Maybe you have bad breath or are a bad kisser. Maybe you are too slow on the uptake. Lots of kisses should lead to some sort of petting. If all you are doing is kissing, that may be turning them off. If a girl doesn't kiss you even once on the first date, there's no spark or you are too hesitant. By the second date there should be kissing and petting or there is no spark. If all you got out of 20 dates is some kisses and being ghosted, you are either picking the wrong women, or you need to up your technique. Also, what do you do on your dates. Do you bring them places or just walk around the streets. Do you pay or expect them to pay half? Do you invite them back to your place after the date?
It means that they thought enough of you (or were hard up enough) to go on 2 or 3 dates and let you stick your tongue in their mouth, but second guessed after that.
I've had women text me back in that situation and say that they looked at me as more of a friend. Which oddly enough ... is what I'm looking for, but I digress.
When you come to a situation like that, it's done. You'll never see the woman again. But I think in that situation, people should keep in touch and keep each other as options. You REALLY don't know what that person is like after 3 dates.
Maybe they're the closest match after all. But dating is not about critical thinking and foresight. It's about spontaneity and egos...
Maybe you have bad breath or are a bad kisser. Maybe you are too slow on the uptake. Lots of kisses should lead to some sort of petting. If all you are doing is kissing, that may be turning them off. If a girl doesn't kiss you even once on the first date, there's no spark or you are too hesitant. By the second date there should be kissing and petting or there is no spark. If all you got out of 20 dates is some kisses and being ghosted, you are either picking the wrong women, or you need to up your technique. Also, what do you do on your dates. Do you bring them places or just walk around the streets. Do you pay or expect them to pay half? Do you invite them back to your place after the date?
I had to giggle a little at this. My husband didn't kiss me at all, until our 3rd date. I was beginning to wonder if he was gay, and/or trying to decide if he actually liked me. LOL
In the end, I look back and I'm kind of glad he waited.
I had to giggle a little at this. My husband didn't kiss me at all, until our 3rd date. I was beginning to wonder if he was gay, and/or trying to decide if he actually liked me. LOL
In the end, I look back and I'm kind of glad he waited.
Glad it worked out for both of you. No one I liked ever had to wonder if I liked them. My cousin used to say I was like a puppy dog whose tail was always wagging.
Well, he ACTED like he liked me, but it took 3 dates to make any kind of physical move on me. I wasn't used to that. Usually, guys tended to "go in for the kill" right away.
Well, he ACTED like he liked me, but it took 3 dates to make any kind of physical move on me. I wasn't used to that. Usually, guys tended to "go in for the kill" right away.
Things were so much simpler then. 1st base, 2nd base, 3rd base, home run. Girls said no, yes, or slow down.
It MIGHT be that you're pushing the physical too fast. Maybe they feel like they don't know you well enough for heavy petting?
Thank you for the suggestion. You say that I am pushing too fast, while bobspez says 'Maybe you are too slow on the uptake. Lots of kisses should lead to some sort of petting', which is, basically the opposite. Things are sooo unclear and obscure here...
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy
I realize you didn't say heavy petting, but maybe that's where there head is at.
I did some heavy petting only with one of the girls that I mentioned.
Maybe you have bad breath or are a bad kisser. Maybe you are too slow on the uptake. Lots of kisses should lead to some sort of petting.
Thanks, it led to some petting with one of the girls. Also, you say this, while Sassybluesy, along with others friends with whom I discussed this, say the exact opposite : "It MIGHT be that you're pushing the physical too fast. Maybe they feel like they don't know you well enough for heavy petting?"... again, the situation is very confused here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez
If all you are doing is kissing, that may be turning them off. If a girl doesn't kiss you even once on the first date, there's no spark or you are too hesitant. By the second date there should be kissing and petting or there is no spark. If all you got out of 20 dates is some kisses and being ghosted, you are either picking the wrong women, or you need to up your technique.
Easier said than done! ahaha Who are the 'wrong' women, and how would I 'up my technique' ????
Quote:
Originally Posted by bobspez
Also, what do you do on your dates. Do you bring them places or just walk around the streets. Do you pay or expect them to pay half? Do you invite them back to your place after the date?
We either have walks, go for a drink, or have dinner at my place. I do not expect them to pay half, but it is fine if they want to.
Last edited by pierre_84; 06-09-2020 at 04:58 PM..
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