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Would you give him the satisfaction or (lack there of) to send the blood test to him from my doctor? Or just let it go?
I HATE that he keeps calling me a liar... I hate that he keeps saying his family would DIE if they knew that I was pregnant because they "fear for him". SERIOUSLY. I have some hatred...which, according to my therapist, is good because i've denied my anger for too long.
No. Any contact with him is contact with him. A crevice for him to try to exploit. An indication that you still give a crap about him. Just don't.
And keep the dogs, so he can't try to use them to retaliate against you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by soitstimetoadmit99
Yes, he went back today and he isn't supposed to return (in his mind) until the weekend. And I haven't told him yet. I am just a mess.. tbh. I keep denying my own reality and wishing I didn't have to face this pain.
But...yeah, today should be the day. I keep reading these posts over and over for strength. I keep telling myself...this isn't for me. This is not meant for me. This man is harmful to me.
But, it's not easy. So thank you for reaching out.
Do it. Don't procrastinate, don't think about it, don't pause for a pep talk. Just do it, before you lose your nerve. Trust me.
Part of my problem is i keep worrying what he is telling his family and friends. I used to be have a high profile job in his city. Now i have my own business...but people still remember me because of my previous position. I feel like I need i save face. I guess it doesnt matter....he probably wouldn't even tell the truth in the first place...
Thanks for replying...I am clearly over thinking this.. .. thanks.
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144
No. Any contact with him is contact with him. A crevice for him to try to exploit. An indication that you still give a crap about him. Just don't.
And keep the dogs, so he can't try to use them to retaliate against you.
Do it. Don't procrastinate, don't think about it, don't pause for a pep talk. Just do it, before you lose your nerve. Trust me.
Part of my problem is i keep worrying what he is telling his family and friends. I used to be have a high profile job in his city. Now i have my own business...but people still remember me because of my previous position. I feel like I need i save face. I guess it doesnt matter....he probably wouldn't even tell the truth in the first place...
Thanks for replying...I am clearly over thinking this.. .. thanks.
If his family and friends aren't your family and friends, don't worry about it. A. he will tell them whatever he wants them to think, and B. they will be on his side anyway, because they're his family and friends. Unless he is slandering you to people you need to do business with-- which would be an issue of its own-- you can't let yourself worry about it.
Oh he absolutely has been..and will continue to be, i'm sure of that. I will be reaching out to a lawyer to see what I can do. He told me he would "ruin me" and "destroy me". I am not taking that lightly... at this time....
Quote:
Originally Posted by K12144
If his family and friends aren't your family and friends, don't worry about it. A. he will tell them whatever he wants them to think, and B. they will be on his side anyway, because they're his family and friends. Unless he is slandering you to people you need to do business with-- which would be an issue of its own-- you can't let yourself worry about it.
Oh he absolutely has been..and will continue to be, i'm sure of that. I will be reaching out to a lawyer to see what I can do. He told me he would "ruin me" and "destroy me". I am not taking that lightly... at this time....
Okay. Now we're getting into the realm of narcissism.
We pointed out the obvious. You agreed.
We gave you advice. You agreed.
But you keep coming back again and again with breathless details of what's going on next in a transparent attempt to keep basking in empathy.
Part of my problem is i keep worrying what he is telling his family and friends. I used to be have a high profile job in his city. Now i have my own business...but people still remember me because of my previous position. I feel like I need i save face. I guess it doesnt matter....he probably wouldn't even tell the truth in the first place...
Thanks for replying...I am clearly over thinking this.. .. thanks.
Who cares about what he tells his family and friends? Let them think whatever they will. If they already think negatively about you to begin with, will it really make that much of a difference when you end your relationship with this man?
The needs of your child and yourself are far more important than any idle gossip that he might spread to a city that's an hour away from where you've chosen to build your life and business.
P.S. Glad that you have the dogs. Be safe, stay strong, make a decision, and stick with it if not for your own sake then for that of your child.
Oh he absolutely has been..and will continue to be, i'm sure of that. I will be reaching out to a lawyer to see what I can do. He told me he would "ruin me" and "destroy me". I am not taking that lightly... at this time....
Write all of this down. In detail. Record it if you can. It will be helpful for the police later.
None of this makes any sense. You each have your own places and your own livelihood. You have a duty to protect your daughter from exposure to this kind of thing. Somebody of your professional stature should be able to see through his groundless threats to take legal action against you. As for him spreading malicious stories about you, you have your own voice to counter that. You could also sue him for slander. If he doesn't leave you alone when you say it's over and that you don't want any further contact, you could get a restraining order. Unless there's something he has on you that you haven't told us about, you hold all the cards.
Get past this fear of being alone. Spend time around independent women and learn from them.
Last edited by Masamune; 06-05-2020 at 11:19 AM..
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