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You may be surprised at how many women are turned off by false compliments. It depends on how it's done. You were right to suggest basing the compliment on something specific about the woman, rather than using a generic line. So if she's wearing a unique pin or a nice scarf, you could compliment that. Depending on what it is (a unique brooch, say), you could ask "Is there a story behind that" or "Is that a family heirloom" (if it looks antique), or some such, to open up a conversation.
Saying she has beautiful hands, or slim fingers? Yeaahhh, no. When you compliment an accessory she's wearing, you're complimenting her taste. Anything about her body sounds like you've been staring at whichever body part. Not a good strategy. Even something seemingly harmless, like, "you have beautiful eyes" could backfire. Too personal for a stranger to say, though it might work with some women. Or it might come off sounding like a canned line from a 1940's film.
I agree with the above, but I would add, that a compliment that lands is the one that points out something the woman herself is proud of and you manage acknowledge that. So if she put herself through school, compliment that. If she is working multiple jobs compliment her on her ambition.
While I agree that in general that compliments about woman's appearances often don't land, the exception I have noticed is for women got plastic surgery especially boob jobs. She went under the knife for a reason, so compliments here about her appearance actually are also about some choice she made and is proud of, but even then, you want the tone right. So not nice [BLEEP], but something softer, you look stunning, its a lovely dress, but you make it look even better.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-08-2020 at 11:14 PM..
Reason: Inppropriate language.
You may be surprised at how many women are turned off by false compliments. It depends on how it's done. You were right to suggest basing the compliment on something specific about the woman, rather than using a generic line. So if she's wearing a unique pin or a nice scarf, you could compliment that. Depending on what it is (a unique brooch, say), you could ask "Is there a story behind that" or "Is that a family heirloom" (if it looks antique), or some such, to open up a conversation.
Saying she has beautiful hands, or slim fingers? Yeaahhh, no. When you compliment an accessory she's wearing, you're complimenting her taste. Anything about her body sounds like you've been staring at whichever body part. Not a good strategy. Even something seemingly harmless, like, "you have beautiful eyes" could backfire. Too personal for a stranger to say, though it might work with some women. Or it might come off sounding like a canned line from a 1940's film.
I've taken a LOT of flack for this comment!! I'm not suggesting a compliment within the first 1-5 minutes of talking to someone. I'm assuming that you are conversing for a while. Flirting is a "dance" that can go on for hours, days and years!
I have never been offended by a compliment at an appropriate time. However, if someone walked over to me across a room and said "Hello - I love your long slender fingers" yes - that would be creepy AF!
I'm not sure what rock you crawled out from under, Mr. First Poster, but if someone asked most of these questions of a woman he first met, he might get a restraining order slapped on him.
In the op's example the footrub is foreplay, not flirting.
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