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She is being really polite because she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. Lots of women will try to soft a rejection by telling you that might meet at some point in the future, but that date is never going to happen. If you met her volunteering I am sure that she is a sweet woman, but their are other really sweet women out there too, who will also be interested in a romantic relationship with you. Its time to put your focus on finding one of them.
Now that you know that she isn't interested, some other things to think about. If there were any other women you were interested in where you volunteer, but you didn't want to ask them out, because you thought it might hurt your chances with this woman. Well now is the time to go for it. Also let the woman who shot you down know that you are totally cool with that, but ask her if she has single friends that she thinks might be a good match. You will come across as magnanimous and because she shot you down, those women often want to help set you up, especially if you were really cool about the matter.
Take care
Mod cut.
Just nooooooooooooooooo.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 06-23-2020 at 08:18 PM..
Reason: Inappropriate language.
harpaint: yes for sure. I can come back to it if I have the energy for it but I am leaning against doing that.
rrah: hahaha yes that is what I felt in my gut as well. My friend is quite enthusiastic and was just pumping me up but yes I dont agree with his suggestion.
Ellie: hmm im not sure if I missed something in your post. The girl I asked out does work for the organization and I volunteer there. This organization runs a lot of groups with staff and some volunteers to assist. Yes for sure. I think I will move on and set my sights on someone else.
Shelato: Yes what you are saying makes sense. I dont really want to try again when I have heard that women do something like that to say they are not interested. I agree with your second paragraph as well. I do feel a little bit like I can relax in the group we are a part of because I did not share certain things because I wanted to set a good impression etc. That is actually a really good idea about asking if she has single friends that would be a good match. I am personally not the type of person to take things like rejections to heart although they can sting.
I do feel disappointed because in the group we are a part of I did feel like we had good chemistry and thought it would go somewhere. I think I will look elsewhere but continue to have fun in the group that I am a part of.
Her rejection of you, says nothing about your worth as an individual. Women reject men for any reason or no reason at all? Its not about you. Its about her. If she is not into you, she is not into you. It really doesn't mean anything more than that. Not everyone you like is going to like you back. So find someone who does. The more you can internalize the idea that her not being into has no reflection of your worth as individual, the easier dating gets for men.
Also don't shun this woman who wasn't interested in you. Be your regular friendly self. The more you treat her as a normal decent person, the more you have just won in life. You were friends with her before you asked her out, you should try to be friends with her afterwards.
Find a group of people you have fun with, who you like spending time with, who likes spending time with you. I think the volunteering is area is a great place to meet women. People who care enough to volunteer somewhere, have demonstrated something that almost no woman on line has demonstrated, they have some character. So continue to be a warm decent human being. There are plenty of women who will reward that in dating pool and volunteering is an excellent place to find them.
You are doing great, even though this woman wasn't interested you will find someone who is.
I am new here. I thought it would be a good idea to get some feedback as I am still learning the ropes of dating.
I have been volunteering with an organization for almost a year. There is another girl who works there as well. We have been flirting a bit back and forth when we are doing the group we run together. Anyways, I finally asked her out yesterday by calling her and asking if she wanted to go out some time. She said what I was kind of thinking she was going to say. She told me that because we work together it may not be a good idea. She also said that she recently moved into a more main role in the organization and she did not want to jeopardize that. She did say she was open to hanging out in the future when the covid situation dies down.
I just wanted to know if I should just move on or try again at a later time? one of my friends was encouraging me to get her personal number (I have her work number) and then keep texting her and then ask her out when covid dies down. I am a little bit hesitant because when i have heard something like I am open to hanging out in the future that usually means a maybe or not interested.
Any feedback would be appreciated.
Good for you for asking her out! Do not take this as a personal rejection toward you, maybe she really can't date anyone involved in this company. She was polite in her answer, and now you just act normal around her. Say Hi and occasional small chit chat, but don't do any flirting anymore.... she just lost her chance with you, right?
No, don't try again later with her.
The main thing is that you put yourself out there and asked her out. I think that's great. You will find someone special real soon. Good luck!!
Either she meant it, and she wants to wait until the coronavirus situation dies down, in which case you should honor her request, or she didn't mean it and she was letting you down gently, in which case you should honor her request. Either way, it wasn't an invitation to badger her.
Keep being friendly colleagues and if there's a next move to be made, the ball is in her court.
Because it's just machinations and manipulation. He would look desperate, not magnanimous, as if he just wants to go out with any woman and didn't actually have interest in the woman in the OP.
OP could you clarify; is she a paid employee, and you're not? If that's true, she's right; she shouldn't be dating the volunteers.
HOWEVER, she did leave the door open to "hanging out" after the Covid situation passes. And when that happens is anyone's guess. People are talking about a second wave of infections, so it could be another year, at least, before things settle down.
But still. She did say she'd be open to "hanging out" in the future. I guess it depends on how long you're willing to hang around waiting for the right opening.
In the meantime, don't pester her. Your friend sounds like the type to get himself a reputation for being a harasser. There's no need to text her to death. Just keep up the friendly banter, like you've been doing. There's no harm in that, and it could keep your foot in the door.
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