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I am reading it. I'm just making sure people hear both sides. It is easy for me to tell my version, I thought it was important for everyone to know how he might respond to what I'm saying.
But, I certainly am happy to read that no one feels any differently.
Ugh, ending an engagement isn't easy after all this time. Especially at my age. (45) But, it's a joke right? i wear a ring ...for what? There's no wedding date and I can't marry him. And this 'hanging' out isn't even fun at this point.
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
Are you not reading these replies?
Yes, you both have issues and ownership here. You aren't compatible.
Stop trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and MOVE ON.
[quote=allergicraction2;58361753]Well, he would tell you he really wants to take his kids on a vacation this summer and he is trying to find a way for me to come along and i'm being too difficult and rigid with my schedule. He would say that i'm using "work" as an excuse to avoid them.
And the problem is there is some truth in that when I truly check in with myself. I don't like the dynamic and frankly i'm not a fan of them. I overheard the oldest telling her boyfriend that she wished he would leave me and find someone else. When I told my fiance I heard this he called me a liar. Said I was just hating on his daughter and she wouldn't say that. He, to this day, does not tell me he believe me.
So, it comes back to me. Do I change my schedule (and compromise my internal belief that I don't want to go on an 18 hour one way trip with his kidss. It sounds like torture to me!)
He would say that he is trying to bring me in...and i'm not having it. But, what do I do?[/QUOTE
He would say a lot of things, I'm sure. But frankly, my dear, he's full of crap. Look even if you're 45, so what? You're not ancient! Sheesh, being "alone" is not the worst thing in the world. You write intelligently; you seem to have a decent business going - why on earth do you want to walk into a future of verbal and emotional abuse from this man AND his two kids? You're worth more than that. And ending an engagement is a LOT easier than ending a marriage. Get out NOW before you're legally yoked to this putz and his nasty brats. It will only get better for you, believe me!
I am reading it. I'm just making sure people hear both sides. It is easy for me to tell my version, I thought it was important for everyone to know how he might respond to what I'm saying.
But, I certainly am happy to read that no one feels any differently.
Ugh, ending an engagement isn't easy after all this time. Especially at my age. (45) But, it's a joke right? i wear a ring ...for what? There's no wedding date and I can't marry him. And this 'hanging' out isn't even fun at this point.
Ending a marriage to the wrong man would be even more difficult. How long has your engagement been?
I have told myself that I should leave on or before the anniversary. (That he doesn't even remember).
I recently told him I wanted a wedding date and an anniversary. He said yeah, we can have an anniversary if you want, but no wedding date until you can prove to me that it won't end in divorce.
I told him I wanted to tell his family (He non stop tells me they are worried about him with me)... that we have a wedding date. We had an argument and they were supposed to be coming for dinner or something that weekend... I said may we please have a date so we can tell them? He told me if I wanted that or even mentioned a wedding date to them, I should consider myself uninvited to the dinner.
He has since told me that he would look towards "December" but then said if I announce it to anyone ...I'm setting myself up for failure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty
Ending a marriage to the wrong man would be even more difficult. How long has your engagement been?
The issue isn't his children not liking you. The issue is that your fiance treats you with utter disrespect and tells you that you're a bad person. This isn't someone you should marry. This is someone you should dump immediately.
I have told myself that I should leave on or before the anniversary. (That he doesn't even remember).
I recently told him I wanted a wedding date and an anniversary. He said yeah, we can have an anniversary if you want, but no wedding date until you can prove to me that it won't end in divorce.
I told him I wanted to tell his family (He non stop tells me they are worried about him with me)... that we have a wedding date. We had an argument and they were supposed to be coming for dinner or something that weekend... I said may we please have a date so we can tell them? He told me if I wanted that or even mentioned a wedding date to them, I should consider myself uninvited to the dinner.
He has since told me that he would look towards "December" but then said if I announce it to anyone ...I'm setting myself up for failure.
I have told myself that I should leave on or before the anniversary. (That he doesn't even remember).
I recently told him I wanted a wedding date and an anniversary. He said yeah, we can have an anniversary if you want, but no wedding date until you can prove to me that it won't end in divorce.
I told him I wanted to tell his family (He non stop tells me they are worried about him with me)... that we have a wedding date. We had an argument and they were supposed to be coming for dinner or something that weekend... I said may we please have a date so we can tell them? He told me if I wanted that or even mentioned a wedding date to them, I should consider myself uninvited to the dinner.
He has since told me that he would look towards "December" but then said if I announce it to anyone ...I'm setting myself up for failure.
This guy sounds like a real creep. GTF out. Nothing you can do or say, will make him change his spots. He blames you for all sorts of things, & that will continue. Men like that are good at twisting things, & making the partner feel guilty. Believe in yourself.
Yes, you both have issues and ownership here. You aren't compatible.
Stop trying to fit a square peg in a round hole and MOVE ON.
She isnt at all listening to the replies!!!! She keeps asking what should she do after being told by everyone here to leave. smh
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