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Oh, I'm sorry, I missed your post that said he works 80 hours a week. In that case, do you think you could change your work status to part-time? My friend who is married with no kids did that because her husband worked so much and they were sick of fighting over the housework, errands, etc. You could hire someone but it's not always that easy. My friends who have hired help say that it's very hard to find dependable people you can trust. I'm personally somewhat of a private person. Whenever I've had people in to clean our home (just a few times-we couldn't afford to do it regularly), I always felt a bit violated or like my private space was infringed upon. Maybe I'm weird or neurotic or something but I didn't like strangers making my bed, folding my underwear, even cleaning my bathroom. Something always seemed to get broken, too. In the handful of times we had people in to clean, our hardwood floors sustained a deep scratch from the furniture being moved ($500 to re-finish), a mirror was broken, my daughter's diaper pail was broken, and a vacuum cleaner was broken. The people spoke very little English so I didn't even try to get them to pay for damages or reduce my bill because we had a hard time communicating with each other. Just a few things to consider before hiring outside help....
I guess the same a single person does it, living alone and working over 50 to 60hrs a week. (that's me). I do it on weekends if i am not to tired, otherwise my house becomes a mess.
Everyone has their own definition of clean and everyone lives differently. As soon as you throw a 2nd person in the mix, things change. A single person might get away with wiping the kitchen regularly as well as wiping down things like the toilet & bathroom counter/sink, or who knows, they might get 2 weeks or so out of every bathroom cleaning.
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Originally Posted by doglover29
Often I feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of managing a household and getting chores done. When both spouses work, how do you manage these things? Groceries, Target, errands, dry cleaning, workmen, cleaning, etc.--it seems like handling all of these takes up so much time. How do you and your spouse handle household responsibilities? We tend to do many of them together, but it eats up entire evenings after work, which I would much prefer to spend having fun. But groceries need to be shopped for, errands need to be done, etc. Do you do all these things on one day or do you space them out over the week?
I used to clean for a living and could probably be a pro-organizer. Once you are organized, things flow better.
Do you have a washer / dryer or do you use a community one? If you have your own, if it's not set up efficiently, laundry can be the biggest waste of time. My laundry area - notice how it is set up, I have detergents hanging on the left side of the washer, I have hangers on the right. The baskets hold bulk items, garbage bags, extra snacks. Washing clothes are easy, once the dryer is done, I immediately fold or hang shirts. Less wrinkles that way. When I used to work, I would throw a load or two in after I got home or at night, then in the morning, I would get the dryer going, possibly another load to wash. Once I was done with coffee and online time, I would hang or fold clothes coming out. I spend maybe 5 to 10 minutes a shot standing there.
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Originally Posted by #Littledog
My husband and I gradually developed a system where our preferences and talents dictated who did what. I love to cook so I do the grocery shopping, cooking and usually the clean up. He's into clothes and he does the washing, ironing, and trips to the dry cleaners. I love yard work but hate paying the bills (I get heart palpitations! LOL) so he pays the bills on-line while I cut grass, rake leaves, garden. Our house never looks perfect but it looks good enough.
Even though I don't work, there are days hubby cooks because my back hurts too much to stand. We work really well together. They way you guys do it is about how we split it.
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Originally Posted by doglover29
I'm not even really talking about clean--I'm just talking about picking up the house and tidying/taking out trash/keeping the kitchen clean. The only room I clean every day (wipe counters, load dishwasher, clean off table, etc.) is the kitchen.
Kitchen is done every day for us as well.
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Originally Posted by doglover29
We go to the grocery store once a week but that really isn't enough. We make simple meals but my husband and I make our own meals because I'm a vegetarian and he's not and we don't eat the same things.
Sounds like you may need to change the way you shop. What do you run back for that you usually need mid or end of week?
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Originally Posted by doglover29
For instance, today I spent an hour and a half just picking up/tidying, making the bed, emptying trash cans, putting away clothes, wiping down the bathroom counters and doing one load of laundry. It took me an hour and a half to do all that--and that was only the upstairs! I don't know what my problem is.
Sounds like you need to mix it up a little. Make the bed as soon as you get out of it. If you use the bathroom 1st thing, take the trash with you to the kitchen.
Cleaning bathrooms shouldn't take that long. We usually do them (have 2) on Sunday's, I have a routine and even with my bad back can get them done pretty quick. How large is your bathroom and how often do you clean it? One thing that saves me tons of time is my shower head, it is a hand held one, which I use at the end of every shower to "rinse" down the shower walls, since I use a face scrub, then while I do bleach it once a week, (could get 2 from the master shower) it's so much easier to use the shower wand to rinse.
You can also break things up into smaller jobs, shower(s)/ tub(s) one night, then sinks & toilets another.
Running the vac with 2 people can probably be done every 2 weeks. Dusting is as needed. I used to be anal about it but can't be now. Washing floors every 3, this is depending on whether you wear shoes in your house, we don't. The smaller bath gets the floor washed every week, since it takes 2 minutes while the larger one, I wipe around the toilet once a week with Mr Clean diluted in a spray bottle & a paper towel.
How large is your place? We have 4 bedrooms, 2 baths with 2 kids. A few times a year, each room gets a deeper cleaning. I used to be able to do them pretty quick, but these days it takes me all day for one or 2 rooms. I'm talking putting things back where they belong (kids) as well as flipping the mattress & pledging. Towels & bedding is done once a week.
What are you buying at Target & how often? I used to go out once a month but have been able to go some times every 2 months. With gas being as high as it is, there are times when he will run into a store on his way home since he passes a food store & Walmart.
When you shop in bulk, which may work for you, you are able to make better use of your time with not having to run out as much.
btw, forgot to ask.. when does both of your day start - when you get up, how long to get ready, then leave for work. Also the reverse.. what time do you two get home, then I'd imagine you cook/clean up the kitchen, do you both have computer time every night, then watch TV together at a certain time and what time do you guys call it a night?
Thinking about it, when I 1st started cleaning this house back in the 90's (it's how we met) it used to take me 2 hours to dust, clean the kitchen, both bathrooms & vac. I used to come every 2 weeks.
I wonder if you are "over cleaning" and if you have to do it because someone doesn't pick their stuff up. If everyone does their part with putting stuff away after they are done with it (cups, snacks, etc) it's less time that is spent picking up every day.
Organization does help and I confess to being "organizationally challenged." However, I would just echo what the others have said about hiring some help if you can possible afford to do so. I have worked most of the years of our marriage except when our son was young, and we have found it to be a near "necessity" to have some cleaning help when I work full-time. Definitely worth the time and trouble to find a good housecleaner or service. At least that has been our experience.
Often I feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of managing a household and getting chores done. When both spouses work, how do you manage these things? Groceries, Target, errands, dry cleaning, workmen, cleaning, etc.--it seems like handling all of these takes up so much time. How do you and your spouse handle household responsibilities? We tend to do many of them together, but it eats up entire evenings after work, which I would much prefer to spend having fun. But groceries need to be shopped for, errands need to be done, etc. Do you do all these things on one day or do you space them out over the week?
Another question would be when there is only one parent...
Organization does help and I confess to being "organizationally challenged." However, I would just echo what the others have said about hiring some help if you can possible afford to do so. I have worked most of the years of our marriage except when our son was young, and we have found it to be a near "necessity" to have some cleaning help when I work full-time. Definitely worth the time and trouble to find a good housecleaner or service. At least that has been our experience.
Since I used to clean professionally, my advice is to make sure you find out specifics, like what cleaners, as well as rags or paper towels will be used in your home.
I used to work for a national company & would never recommend them, especially after working there. They had unmarked spray bottles, we didn't even know what was in it. There was a total of 3 products, one was a glass cleaner another a general, all purpose cleaner, then another for wood that anded up chemically burning my hands.
They dished out the number of rags we used per house also, so it was possible that 2 or 4 rags went through your house, and possibly used on someone else's house. Gross huh? They weren't even nice white wash cloth type rags, they were the ones mechanics used to carry back in the 70's & 80's. I worked there a little over a month and could not live with myself.
You are better off getting someone local, maybe a crew of 2 that you can trust. Back in the early 90's I charged $50 per time, either using my own cleaners or the home owners.
That being said, here's some pretty common sense things, from the work-at-home husband in a two-income household with three kids.
1. Don't be a slob in the first place. Hang it back up. Put whatever it is back after you're done with it. Open your mail over the trash can. Do things a little at a time, rather than be overwhelmed with a huge workload on your free day. And minimize the amount of mess that goes with any given job.
2. Turn off your television. If you're watching TV every night, well no wonder you aren't getting anything done. TV is almost a bigger time waster as the Internet. Hmmmm.
3. Save the major grocery shopping for once monthly. Go to some place like Sam's and Costco and buy most of what you need for a month, and fill-in with small trips.
4. Multi-task on things that don't need your constant attention, such as laundry. Do one load of clothes a day. It's pretty easy. Put a load in the washer when you get home. Get dinner started. Move clothes to dryer. Eat dinner. Take out clothes and fold. Do this three-four nights a week, and you've done your laundry during your dead time, rather than carve out a six hour marathon of washing and drying.
5. Unless the Queen of England is coming, you don't need a spotless house. Just a neat one.
6. Dedicate one day every three months to throwing away all the crap in your house. You won't believe how much useless stuff you can accumulate in just 90 days.
7. When you're cooking, don't through the dirty dishes into the sink. That's just stupid. Load the dishwasher with the dirty dishes as you cook. After all, you're there anyway. Then you don't spend an hour after dinner cleaning the kitchen.
8. Unless there's a major household project underway, make one day a weekend to be totally work free. Then you don't resent getting things done the other day.
9. Everybody pitches in, even the four year old. If you don't teach them how to clean early on, you'll wind up being their slaves later.
We have never managed to get the hang of this right.
Our grocery bills for two people average about $180 per week. We have tried to get this down, but we can't. We're not buying expensive stuff, either. Much of it is produce, which in itself is expensive. But even though we only grocery shop once per week, we never have enough to last through the entire week. By the end of the week we're eating out, because we ran out of food. However, the few times we've tried to budget more accordingly and buy more, it ends up rotting/going to waste. I have no idea how to manage this area better. We always do meal planning and shop with a list. It takes us about an hour each time at the grocery store. But we'd love to get our food bills down. Because that $180 per week for the two of us doesn't include eating out, either, which adds on another $80 at least. So our food bill for one month is always around $800 for two. This strikes me as obsenely too much. But I have no idea what to do about it.
We also have problems with cooking. Because I'm a vegetarian and my husband is not, we each make our own entree. This wastes time but I don't see any way around it, as my husband must have meat as his entree at dinner time. I feel that we spend way too much time on meal prep, and I hate to cook!
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However, I would just echo what the others have said about hiring some help if you can possible afford to do so. I have worked most of the years of our marriage except when our son was young, and we have found it to be a near "necessity" to have some cleaning help when I work full-time. Definitely worth the time and trouble to find a good housecleaner or service. At least that has been our experience.
Gotta get me a Net Nanny of sorts...
