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I often find that when getting to know a guy, they kill the conversation by asking for your number. Like what is the difference? We can get to know each other here for a little while then sure we can exchange numbers.
I could really like a guy, but things like nagging for a number put me off. Or when they feed you a bull**** excuse "the reason why I asked your number is that I don't use this app that often"
"Well, you're on it now, and I would rather get to know you on here a little before the exchange of numbers."
note: not all guys.
From what I have heard and from experience, women get a lot of messages and that can be frustrating.
Try letsbeauthentic
Best of luck
You have to understand it from the other side. 75% of the time women flake and never show up to a date, so if I just spent the last 40 minutes having this exhausting conversation (as all are when you don't know someone and you're texting) and we never meet in person, I just wasted 40 minutes of my life. We could discuss everything we messaged in 3 minutes in person.
You have to understand it from the other side. 75% of the time women flake and never show up to a date, so if I just spent the last 40 minutes having this exhausting conversation (as all are when you don't know someone and you're texting) and we never meet in person, I just wasted 40 minutes of my life. We could discuss everything we messaged in 3 minutes in person.
If the conversation feels this exhausting with this woman, shouldn't that be a sign that you just aren't into the woman? You have some agency here. Either change the conversation topics into stuff that you actually enjoy talking about or just accept that this specific woman just isn't a good match.
The right woman is an asset in your life, but the wrong woman is a time blackhole. When you realize that some woman isn't worth your time, move on. But you wasting 40 minutes on this woman is on you.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,938 posts, read 36,935,179 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phil P
You have to understand it from the other side. 75% of the time women flake and never show up to a date, so if I just spent the last 40 minutes having this exhausting conversation (as all are when you don't know someone and you're texting) and we never meet in person, I just wasted 40 minutes of my life. We could discuss everything we messaged in 3 minutes in person.
Man, the stuff on this forum is amazing. Seriously. You sure you don't mean 0.0075% of the time? Closer to the truth. I can't not remember over 30 years and countless dates a person never showing up without contacting.
I can't take apps seriously because literally nobody on them is serious about wanting a relationship. Women have become serial daters and I think most are just killing time on them or want a free meal. Waste of time.
I can't take apps seriously because literally nobody on them is serious about wanting a relationship. Women have become serial daters and I think most are just killing time on them or want a free meal. Waste of time.
Curiously, some of the women have the same complaint about the men on the apps. And on the more conventional sites, as well.
If the conversation feels this exhausting with this woman, shouldn't that be a sign that you just aren't into the woman? You have some agency here. Either change the conversation topics into stuff that you actually enjoy talking about or just accept that this specific woman just isn't a good match.
The right woman is an asset in your life, but the wrong woman is a time blackhole. When you realize that some woman isn't worth your time, move on. But you wasting 40 minutes on this woman is on you.
It becomes exhausting due to the fatigue of having the conversations repeatedly for nothing. In fact, the better the conversations are and they end up flaking, makes it even more exhausting than when the conversations were shorter and not that good. If you haven’t gone through it, you won’t understand. Which you apparently don’t.
It becomes exhausting due to the fatigue of having the conversations repeatedly for nothing. In fact, the better the conversations are and they end up flaking, makes it even more exhausting than when the conversations were shorter and not that good. If you haven’t gone through it, you won’t understand. Which you apparently don’t.
OK, now I have a better understanding of what is going on.
A couple of suggestions, be less outcome dependent and more process focused. Some women are just having bad days. Some may be dealing with problems at work, or issues with their own kids or even their parents. Also some women you like, just aren't into you. What I am getting at is with some women you are going to have bad outcomes no matter what you do.
That is not a reflection on you nor your value as a person. That is just life.
That said the people who I think do best at dating, get to that place by arranging the process in such a way that they enjoy what they are doing so the process does feel like so much work. So for instance, if you are a boozehound who likes drinking, well those people like meeting women in bars. If you are a guy who likes dancing, salsa becomes a fun place to meet women. If you are real athletic, the women you meet at Team in training practicing for your first marathon end up being a good choice.
I still think on line dating could work, but again do it in a way were you are selecting activities you enjoy so you don't hate the process.
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