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Old 06-29-2020, 02:02 AM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,638 posts, read 20,130,445 times
Reputation: 28747

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Quote:
Originally Posted by shelato View Post
It probably wouldn't be my preferred long term dating arrangement, but at 25 I think it would have been useful to have some dating experience with some older women. A 40 year old woman is much more pragmatic and direct about dating than a 25 year old. She understands the reasons for a lot of the rules to the game as a result there is just so much less games and drama involved. But watching how an older woman handles things vs a younger woman, gives the OP some valuable experience for later dealing with women closer or even much younger than the OP. You realize that there is a lot of b.s. you just don't need to accept or put up with. That is a valuable lesson at that age.
Oh I'm not knocking the experience itself. Not at all. I totally agree. Life is to be enjoyed!



*I'm just sayin, a man that stays in that position too long will always be in what I consider a childlike role, which imo, is not respectable. I've seen men fall into this dating pattern, they become dependant on women to take care of them.

So I think it's always good for a young man to start learning responsibility and get his own early on. It will serve him later.


(I'm 40, give me a grown-ass man. lol)
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Old 06-29-2020, 05:33 AM
 
1,341 posts, read 1,623,430 times
Reputation: 1166
Quote:
Originally Posted by softcrunch View Post
Most will have this inpression unless you're financially stronger or the provider instead. Or knowing that she has no car no house and you still choose to date her despite the 40+yr, then the last thing others would see you as baby sugar.
Not sure in which part of US does this mentality occur, maybe in a small village stuck in 1820. Most people will not care, period... unless he specifically makes effort to make people involved in this matter somehow.

Quote:
Originally Posted by grad_student200 View Post
I watched the biographical film about Jerry Lewis way back in the 80s. I was a 20 year old undergraduate when I saw it. The lead actor playing a young Jerry was Dennis Quaid. Even back then I thought he was old. He looked to be in his late 20s or early 30s. His character had a teen wife which was the scandal around which the film revolved. The film was hilarious with Alec Baldwin playing his cousin - a young Jimmy Swaggart. Baldwin as a southern preacher from the Bible Belt was hilarious - a classic case of cast-against-type.

Decades later, in real life Quaid has married a young blonde woman who wasn't even born when that movie came out. She is about the same age as those girls who were on "Wizards of Waverly Place" about 10 years ago. It makes me think of that SNL skit - "Meet your 2nd wife" by Tina Fey. But in Quaid's case I think she is his 3rd or 4th wife.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MJEAGd1bQuc
If you look at the media, especially Tina Fey's jokes and the likes whom she flocks, bashing towards older man - young woman relationships with a bigger age difference, either direct or subtle, is the most common thing. That doesn't make them right, or either progressive. Think about it for an instance, how long would her show be able to air if she used similar approach to bash gay relationships by using the media space and coverage to antagonize the audience towards certain choices that are none of their business.

I did notice one important difference in comparison with situation some 5-10 years ago - they tend to focus on antagonizing older men in the eyes of young women now instead. If you look at who's doing that, you'll notice that the whole thing is about sour grapes mentality and inherent hatred towards older men with options and ability to present themselves as good relationship prospects.

Last edited by nald; 06-29-2020 at 05:45 AM..
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Old 06-29-2020, 09:04 AM
 
Location: between Mars and Venus
1,748 posts, read 1,291,384 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nald View Post
Not sure in which part of US does this mentality occur, maybe in a small village stuck in 1820. Most people will not care, period... unless he specifically makes effort to make people involved in this matter somehow.

Sure most people dont care, but will judge even if theyre not involved in op's relationship out of human natures curiosity. Its not just US it's universal that's where the term exists. People say who cares? just enjoy simply saying op to just enjoy his sugar baby moment while it lasts or not.
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Old 06-29-2020, 12:36 PM
 
4,025 posts, read 3,281,684 times
Reputation: 6356
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
Oh I'm not knocking the experience itself. Not at all. I totally agree. Life is to be enjoyed!



*I'm just sayin, a man that stays in that position too long will always be in what I consider a childlike role, which imo, is not respectable. I've seen men fall into this dating pattern, they become dependant on women to take care of them.

So I think it's always good for a young man to start learning responsibility and get his own early on. It will serve him later.


(I'm 40, give me a grown-ass man. lol)
Now I see what you are saying. Its a valid point.
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Old 06-29-2020, 02:37 PM
 
12 posts, read 6,434 times
Reputation: 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by D217 View Post
Oh I'm not knocking the experience itself. Not at all. I totally agree. Life is to be enjoyed!



*I'm just sayin, a man that stays in that position too long will always be in what I consider a childlike role, which imo, is not respectable. I've seen men fall into this dating pattern, they become dependant on women to take care of them.

So I think it's always good for a young man to start learning responsibility and get his own early on. It will serve him later.


(I'm 40, give me a grown-ass man. lol)


She makes me feel mature and she is not like the other girls at my age I have dated. She knows what she wants.

I also prefer hanging with her friends than with my friends. They talk about serious things like work, businesses, children not about parties and computer games like my friends talk. Her friends don't judge our relationship also.
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Old 06-29-2020, 05:43 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
102,126 posts, read 107,381,087 times
Reputation: 115942
Quote:
Originally Posted by himhishim View Post
She makes me feel mature and she is not like the other girls at my age I have dated. She knows what she wants.

I also prefer hanging with her friends than with my friends. They talk about serious things like work, businesses, children not about parties and computer games like my friends talk. Her friends don't judge our relationship also.
At your age, there are plenty of women, who are moving ahead in their careers, and talk about serious things, do humanitarian volunteer work in their spare time, are well-travelled, are very interesting to talk to, and know what they want. You just haven't met them, because you've been in this relationship since you were 19. You never gave yourself a chance to meet them. But they're out there. Yes, in Europe; I've met some of them.

If you're on a career path, I would think you'd meet a few too, if you were open to it. Maybe you don't notice them, because you're already in a relationship.
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Old 06-30-2020, 03:55 AM
 
Location: U.S.A.
19,638 posts, read 20,130,445 times
Reputation: 28747
Quote:
Originally Posted by himhishim View Post
She makes me feel mature and she is not like the other girls at my age I have dated. She knows what she wants.

I also prefer hanging with her friends than with my friends. They talk about serious things like work, businesses, children not about parties and computer games like my friends talk. Her friends don't judge our relationship also.
Cool man. The type of people you surround yourself with will have an influence on your life. Keep it positive


( ~ If I were you, I'd take some steps to save up some $ for a car. Get this stuff squared away now while you are young, otherwise you'll end up behind the game when you get older. )
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Old 06-30-2020, 09:00 AM
 
1,702 posts, read 632,301 times
Reputation: 1852
Enjoy it. Older women are fun to be with.
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Old 06-30-2020, 10:19 AM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,707 posts, read 19,880,600 times
Reputation: 43031
Quote:
Originally Posted by himhishim View Post
I have 25 years and live in my 40-year-old girlfriend's house and also I use her car. She doesn't want split rent. Am I a sugar baby? Why did my friend suggest that?
Need more details. Do you contribute anything to the relationship as in gas/money/groceries/fixing things, etc?

I am 43, my current bf is 28 (we don't live together) and there is no way I would have living him with me and not contributing anything. I have no respect for people who just take and give nothing back, there needs to be a balance somehow.
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Old 06-30-2020, 12:59 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,771 posts, read 11,986,606 times
Reputation: 30284
Sugar baby? Leech? Mooch? User? Mommy issues?

Who knows.
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