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I am dating someone and till now he has the following red flags::
**he told me that he had a two year relationship but he didn't really like the girl and actually he liked another girl but the other girl had a boyfriend and that's why he didn't choose her and that with his ex-girlfriend he had at the beginning something sexual and then she said to him either we will have a relationship or nothing at all and because he didn't want to loose the sex he agreed to a relationship and at the end he cheated on her
**he told me that sex is for him like doing sports and he wants to try many different partners
**he also told me that he had a crush on someone but she wanted something more serious and she also didn't want to have sex with him and he didn't want a relationship so they didn't continue seeing each other
and that one day they went out he kissed another girl for some reason
I aso began with him something sexual. At first I wasn't that much interested but then he was very sweet and everything and I got emotional. Then I realised that I have to reduce the contact or cut it but this made me depressed and I couldn't do it. But now I have less contact with him. But I can't really understand this behaviour of him. What does this mean for his personality? And am I too stupid to see him romantically? Sorry for my english is not my mother language.
I am dating someone and till now he has the following red flags::
**he told me that he had a two year relationship but he didn't really like the girl and actually he liked another girl but the other girl had a boyfriend and that's why he didn't choose her and that with his ex-girlfriend he had at the beginning something sexual and then she said to him either we will have a relationship or nothing at all and because he didn't want to loose the sex he agreed to a relationship and at the end he cheated on her
**he told me that sex is for him like doing sports and he wants to try many different partners
**he also told me that he had a crush on someone but she wanted something more serious and she also didn't want to have sex with him and he didn't want a relationship so they didn't continue seeing each other
and that one day they went out he kissed another girl for some reason
I aso began with him something sexual. At first I wasn't that much interested but then he was very sweet and everything and I got emotional. Then I realised that I have to reduce the contact or cut it but this made me depressed and I couldn't do it. But now I have less contact with him. But I can't really understand this behaviour of him. What does this mean for his personality? And am I too stupid to see him romantically? Sorry for my english is not my mother language.
Well, if you keep dating him, you should do so only with the understanding that you are one of what he hopes will be many stops along the way to wherever he is going in life.
But red flags are RED for a reason. It doesn't mean pause ... it means STOP.
Getting emotionally attached to someone who very clearly isn't available to love you back... Yeah, I've been there, done that. You will get hurt. You get to decide, cut it off now and process your feelings, or keep messing around with this man and deal with the hurt later and process your feelings. That's the choice in front of you.
There is no, "maybe he'll change and want to love me" option. He's told you who he is, what he's about. Don't be in denial of that.
The mistake I have made in the past in such a situation, wasn't thinking it would become a loving relationship (I knew better) but thinking that if I kept the good times rolling just a while longer, my own feelings would naturally run their course and I'd be more "ready" for the end. That pretty much never happens. Sooner or later, you will in some way express how you feel, and he'll get all flaky and push you away, or you'll start asking for more respect than you're getting in some way, and he'll decide it's time to move on, and you'll be left standing there crying about it.
The only happy end to this story is after you move on and get over him.
Also, I hope you're practicing safe (safe as possible) sex with this player. Get STI tests, use protection, do NOT let him get you pregnant. All that stuff.
Getting emotionally attached to someone who very clearly isn't available to love you back... Yeah, I've been there, done that. You will get hurt. You get to decide, cut it off now and process your feelings, or keep messing around with this man and deal with the hurt later and process your feelings. That's the choice in front of you.
There is no, "maybe he'll change and want to love me" option. He's told you who he is, what he's about. Don't be in denial of that.
The mistake I have made in the past in such a situation, wasn't thinking it would become a loving relationship (I knew better) but thinking that if I kept the good times rolling just a while longer, my own feelings would naturally run their course and I'd be more "ready" for the end. That pretty much never happens. Sooner or later, you will in some way express how you feel, and he'll get all flaky and push you away, or you'll start asking for more respect than you're getting in some way, and he'll decide it's time to move on, and you'll be left standing there crying about it.
The only happy end to this story is after you move on and get over him.
Also, I hope you're practicing safe (safe as possible) sex with this player. Get STI tests, use protection, do NOT let him get you pregnant. All that stuff.
yes, I was thinking that if I keep seeing him then it may be easier in some months to cut the contact off because my feelings might not be so intense like at the moment now the problem is that I don't like anyone else
I am dating someone and till now he has the following red flags::
**he told me that sex is for him like doing sports and he wants to try many different partners
I aso began with him something sexual. At first I wasn't that much interested but then he was very sweet and everything and I got emotional. Then I realised that I have to reduce the contact or cut it but this made me depressed and I couldn't do it. But now I have less contact with him. But I can't really understand this behaviour of him. What does this mean for his personality? And am I too stupid to see him romantically? Sorry for my english is not my mother language.
It's pretty easy to understand, unless you are clueless or inexperienced. You are NOT dating him. You're having sex with him. There is no emotional relationship. He is sweet when he wants sex. He doesn't want anything else. At least with you.
You have a choice to have occasional sex with him knowing that there won't be anything else or dump him and look for an relationship that will give you an emotional satisfaction. With someone who wants you and cares about you .
Hopefully you both use protection. With his attitude to try sex with many partners, who knows what venereal diseases he could be hosting.
yes, I was thinking that if I keep seeing him then it may be easier in some months to cut the contact off because my feelings might not be so intense like at the moment now the problem is that I don't like anyone else
Tough fact to take, especially because I have a feeling you're pretty young, but you can be on your own for a bit and it won't be the end of the world.
It won't get easier. I would bet that he won't cooperate long enough for your feelings to calm down. And I'll tell you something...relationship experts, people who teach classes and write books about this, say that the infatuation feelings in the early stages can last (commonly) up to 2 years. So there's no guarantee that your feelings WILL mellow, or when, and odds are long before it can happen, he will start putting distance between you. The typical playbook for a guy like him, is he'll start getting difficult to connect with, flaky, won't answer calls, never has time to see you when you're available, leaves you waiting by the phone...and/or he'll start stupid little fights over nothing. This is the "you're getting too close so I'm pushing you away" behavior. When you see that, you know he's about done with you. And if you let him know you're catching feelings, expect this behavior almost right away.
And it's gonna hurt. You will overthink the whole thing. Tear your brain apart trying to figure out what YOU did wrong. The answer is: Nothing. Nothing you can do or not do, will change the way this goes or what he does. The only thing to do differently in the future, is to guard your heart and not have sex with guys until you get to know them some, and not if they talk like this.
Feeling like you need a new guy first, so you can be distracted from your heartbreak, it's not really fair you know. It's kind of using this hypothetical new guy. It's pretty selfish. There have got to be other things that make you happy, besides getting laid. Even as a woman who isn't ashamed to say she enjoys sex, myself, there are tons of other things to focus on. And it can be good to give yourself some time to process your feelings, get over him, and think about what you REALLY need and want in a partner, so you don't fall into a pattern of going for the kind of men who hurt your heart.
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now the problem is that I don't like anyone else 
