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I am truly wondering what the line of thinking is that makes people seek this out. I mean, I see it often enough, there's even a TV show dedicated to long-distance romance and most of them sought it out, so people really do look for it. To be clear, I'm talking about people who deliberately go after someone on a dating app who lives very far away. Sometimes even in another country. I know, I know, people just go after whoever suits their fancy, but how do they reconcile the fact that they are so far away and can't do anything but communicate through electronic devices? How do you ever think about long-term or building a life together if there is the challenge of distance? I specifically mentioned people over 40 with kids, because in this case, there are probably even more things, uh, anchoring you to where you are. Are they just not thinking at all and going with whatever feelings have overcome them? I'm mostly asking because my sister got a bee in her bonnet and set up an online dating profile for me (her idea, not mine) and she says she keeps getting guys who live far away. I'm not here to ask for advice on what to do with them, I already know what to do. I'm just wondering what they are thinking. I like to understand where people are coming from and what is going on in their noggin's. The only thing I can think of is that they WANT to participate in some degree of fantasy. Because that's what I think LDR's amount to and I know some people actually want that.
Maybe some are trying to hide their past?
People who look for a mail bride often aren't very transparent about themselves. Obviously they had major problems dating local girls and decided to look far away? Hide their finances, they appearance, character traits, past relationships, a wife and kids???
Just guessing...
Man/woman over 40 has money and they know that for it would be hard to find someone in USA for example. They use these apps to find younger people who want visa to USA and that is it.
The only thing I can think of is that they WANT to participate in some degree of fantasy.
Because that's what I think LDR's amount to and I know some people actually want that.
Close enough.
Even when the couple have a functioning healthy relationship BEFORE distance is added...
Over 40 with kids could easily mean the kids are adults and out of the house or about to be launched and out of the house.
Yeah and....? Can you elaborate further?
Quote:
Originally Posted by elnina
Maybe some are trying to hide their past?
People who look for a mail bride often aren't very transparent about themselves. Obviously they had major problems dating local girls and decided to look far away? Hide their finances, they appearance, character traits, past relationships, a wife and kids???
Just guessing...
Oh yeah, totally. Definitely the case with mail order brides, but what about when it's still in the USA?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slenderman585
Man/woman over 40 has money and they know that for it would be hard to find someone in USA for example. They use these apps to find younger people who want visa to USA and that is it.
What about when they are both in the USA and they are not younger?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MrRational
Close enough.
Even when the couple have a functioning healthy relationship BEFORE distance is added...
I'm not sure what you mean here....
Are you saying that you think functioning healthy relationships that don't have distance problems still want to participate in fantasy?
I am truly wondering what the line of thinking is that makes people seek this out. I mean, I see it often enough, there's even a TV show dedicated to long-distance romance and most of them sought it out, so people really do look for it. To be clear, I'm talking about people who deliberately go after someone on a dating app who lives very far away. Sometimes even in another country. I know, I know, people just go after whoever suits their fancy, but how do they reconcile the fact that they are so far away and can't do anything but communicate through electronic devices? How do you ever think about long-term or building a life together if there is the challenge of distance? I specifically mentioned people over 40 with kids, because in this case, there are probably even more things, uh, anchoring you to where you are. Are they just not thinking at all and going with whatever feelings have overcome them? I'm mostly asking because my sister got a bee in her bonnet and set up an online dating profile for me (her idea, not mine) and she says she keeps getting guys who live far away. I'm not here to ask for advice on what to do with them, I already know what to do. I'm just wondering what they are thinking. I like to understand where people are coming from and what is going on in their noggin's. The only thing I can think of is that they WANT to participate in some degree of fantasy. Because that's what I think LDR's amount to and I know some people actually want that.
What is "normal"? There are lots of people in open relationships, lots of people into BDSM, there are people claiming to be members of genders I have never heard about. There are also Amish people and fundamentalist religious folks who even in this day and time never engage in "self-abuse" and manage to save sex for marriage. Moreover I suspect that people on average are actually weirder than we realize because a lot of people don't wear their weirdness as badge of honor. If you are into BDSM and your sister is married to a Baptist minister, is that what you talk about at Thanksgiving?
Sexuality is weird and lots of people feel lost. I think a lot of dating is a coordination problem, finding people who are looking for what you are looking for. When you have communication tools that made it dramatically cheaper to reach out and contact people from further away. You have to expect that a lot of those tools will be used for sex and dating.
Mid-40s with your children launched in your peak earnings years, it’s no big deal to hop on an airplane.
My father at age 45 lived near Boston and had a Florida girlfriend. He had a condo on the beach and would fly down for long weekends. He was high income. 30 days in advance, Florida flights are cheap.
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