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In general what are your age limit rules? When you have broken them, how did things turn out?
+/-5 years limit, +/-3 years preference. I am in my upper 20s. If were still single in my mid-30s, I might be more flexible to date women in their mid-upper 20s. But at my current age, anyone >5 years younger is just too much of a lifestyle difference. The only time I've broken these "rules" was with a girl who was 20 when I was 26, just for a few dates. She was sweet, but still in college and not at a similar point in life at all. >5 years older is problematic because I want kids eventually but not immediately.
Everyone has different temperaments and life experiences, but aging is also a biological process and I can't imagine marrying someone 10+ years older or younger than me and having old age infirmities set in many years apart.
Since my future fiance is 17 years younger, I have to go with that. Actually, in an ideal world, it would be more like 10 years younger. I won't date my age or older. I haven't done that since my 20's and 30's. Biggest age difference was 8 years older then.
Thanks. Not very long. I know him from motorcycle riding a few years ago. Rejected him because he was too young. Lost contact. Now, about 100+ dates later with guys my age who all turned out to be liars, pretenders, cheaters, or depressed/on pills ... I ran into him again and this time did not reject him.
He is not on my level maturity wise or intellectually, but that's what I have my friends for. I go with the flow and it either lasts or it won't. He is absolutely crazy for me and treats me very well, that's all I care for for now. He is pure, sincere, loving, very attractive without knowing it and very honest. Should have given him the time of the day 2 years ago already.
You know, there is a lot of wisdom in this post. Especially about the role of friends vs partner.
I think many relationships fail because both people expect far too much of each other--lover, confidante, life coach, financial planner, therapist, champion, entertainer, constant companion, etc.
It's a LOT to put on one person, when many of those roles can be filled by friends, therapists and dogs.
When dating with serious intent, I kept my age range within 10 years younger to 5 years older. My wife is 8 years younger. We've had a cautiously open relationship, and later on, one of my long term FWBs was 27 years younger. That almost become a long term polyamorous live-in relationship, so I've pretty much thrown out age differences as a criterion.
I still would avoid anyone under 30, and of course they'd have to be okay with me being much older. I think a lot of caution and careful consideration is needed for relationships with large age differences, and this can become a major concern as the couple gets older, when possible health issues arise.
You know, there is a lot of wisdom in this post. Especially about the role of friends vs partner.
I think many relationships fail because both people expect far too much of each other--lover, confidante, life coach, financial planner, therapist, champion, entertainer, constant companion, etc.
It's a LOT to put on one person, when many of those roles can be filled by friends, therapists and dogs.
A friend of mine said once "one person cannot full fill all your needs." It stuck with me.
Yes, I wish my bf was my age, I was not looking for someone younger. But looking for Mr. Right has led me nowhere.
For me the max age difference would be 10 years (older than me), but now that I'm in my late 30's and want children, I've realized I will have to lower that number to maybe 8 years max. I think the min would be a year younger than me, I've generally always been more attracted to older guys.
Thanks. Not very long. I know him from motorcycle riding a few years ago. Rejected him because he was too young. Lost contact. Now, about 100+ dates later with guys my age who all turned out to be liars, pretenders, cheaters, or depressed/on pills ... I ran into him again and this time did not reject him.
He is not on my level maturity wise or intellectually, but that's what I have my friends for. I go with the flow and it either lasts or it won't. He is absolutely crazy for me and treats me very well, that's all I care for for now. He is pure, sincere, loving, very attractive without knowing it and very honest. Should have given him the time of the day 2 years ago already.
Usually, plus or minus 5-7 years, either way, is most ideal. When you think about generations run in 10-15 year blocks so that minimizes generational differences.
There are certain exceptions to that. There are some more old-time 20-somethings and on the other end someone who is 40+ that shares some of the mindsets of the younger generation.
As someone in their early 30s, I probably don't have much in common with the average 21-year-old or the average 50 year old for generational reason largely. Me personally my floor is probably around 24-25 years old. A lot of guys in their 30s think they can easily date women in their early 20s pretty easily until they try it and realize that the generational gap is too much and they don't have much in common.
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