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Acceptable answer if someone asked me that question? I don't find anything irritating about anyone! Just to play it safe!
You said that you ask the question, so I was wondering what response you could receive that wouldn't be a red flag.
I'm not a fan of trick questions... If someone asked me that, I would assume they want an actual answer in order to learn something about my likes and dislikes.
I'll make it even easier: When you are not a priority in that person's life.
That's not to say the other person shouldn't have friends, a career, and interests. Far from it. But if that person doesn't call you or text you back for hours or even days, if that person doesn't still talk to you in the kind of deep and single-minded way that he once did, and if that person persists in things you find objectionable, then those are your red flags.
Because these are all facets of a single problem: Lack of respect for you and your needs. I don't care how busy I am professionally busy I am or how far away I'm traveling. I can always manage a phone call or message with my wife. If something really bothers my wife, I'll talk through it with her. And she remains by far my favorite person with whom to have a conversation after thirty years.
Gotta say it. There are a lot of people on this forum who already know the answers before they ask the questions, but either deny the reality before them or lack the inner strength to do much about it.
I've mentally agreed with a lot of posts on this topic, but you summed it up perfectly. Concise. :-)
Bathroom humor.
Clingy-ness.
People who get worked up over nonsense. Example: a person who walks around all pissed off because their favorite sports team lost that day.
These are from my own personal experience, saying "I love you" too early in a relationship. If you've only known each other 2 weeks and the other person is declaring their love, run.
Also, this kinda goes with the first one but rushing to lock things down. The last guy I dated pushed me to commit to him knowing I wasn't ready and that type of behavior continued through our entire relationship. Many times he knew I was uncomfortable with a situation but he pushed and pushed until I eventually gave in which led me to feeling resentful.
Another subtle red flag for me now is men that rely too much on their mothers for help. I seem to attract mama's boys so I've dated a handful of grown men that still ask their moms to run errands for them or to help them out with minor situations that they could easily do themselves.
These guys will eventually stop asking mama and start asking you to help them with everything from doing their laundry to calling car insurance companies to get quotes or to helping them type an email. So many men (and women I assume) are ruined by their enabling mothers.
I could probably list a hundred red flags but I'll just write a few. People that are irresponsible in life in general. It might be a little thing at first like their phone was shut off because they forgot to pay their bill or they're always out of toilet paper because they can't remember to buy it but these people are generally always bad at the big things too like their credit is bad and they're being sued for unpaid debts. If people can't handle little stuff they definitely can't handle the big things.
I haven't personally had these happen to me as far as I know. Now re: the 1st one below, after resarching and seeing it w/ others, I'd definitely NOT want:
- ANY signs of NARCISSISM, which covers pretty much every bad personality trait you can think of - If you've never heard of that term, you're in for some extensive learning! There are tons of youtube videos/articles/books about it from experts w/ PhDs as well as from regular people.
Then, the usual that I personally will never put up w/ any signs of:
- being controlling - smoking, drinking, drugs
- flirts
- gamblers - lying (starting w/ any white lies)
- laziness/no ambition
- moodiness, everchanging attitudes (nice one day, foul mood the next, etc.)
- sarcasm
You notice they are not introducing you to family and friends and they are unwilling to meet yours.
They have a close confidante of the opposite sex. They keep insisting they are "just friends" but they share their
emotions more with them than with you.
How they treat people and animals. How they talk about their parents and exes (if it's all negative, it's a red flag). If they're too serious it's a 100% turn off. Being stuck up or lacking compassion about things I'm compassionate about are also not good signs to me.
Do these moods stay fixed or can they not evolve once it is recognized the other person is not comfortable? The objective is to grow and evolve together not try or make the other person fit a "framework" or blueprint. During construction of the mightiest palace the blueprint is just a guide and as it was being built minor changes, enhancements are made to a building continually under construction never ending. Such as a true relationship should be based on love.
Jealousy, control issues, inability to compromise. OK, those aren't subtle.
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