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I hope not! How the hell do you find that out? I can just see it now.
"Um, sweety. There is something I need to ask you. Do you like d**k?"
LOL!
I really really really don't think he is, but then what the hell do I know.
Yeah I asked my "ex" husband if he was gay one time....I don't recommend that.
About the grabbing. That's a huge turn off for me, it's also a huge turn off when someone grabs my hand and puts it where they want it. Requesting to be touched in a certain area or way is one thing, taking someone's hand and putting it where you want it is really not sexy (for lack of a better word). I don't know enough about your situation to inform you much. But staring at young women is a very bad sign IMO. Good luck
Since you wanted some advice let me suggest something no one else has suggested. Tone down the "I'm so horney" behaviour and focus on just touching,caressing,kissing but without the end result being sex. Takes the pressure off, which it sounds like he might be experiencing having such a sexually demanding partner. Why have you not been to a couples counselor instead of "guessing" what the issue may be? Some men tire of being with the same person especially after being married and having a child and look for someone new. That part is not your fault if this is indeed his problem...but maybe having so much emphasis on sex is turning him off instead of turning him on. Maybe he get's performance anxiety because so much is expected of him sexually and he would rather not go there at all than be a dissappointment to you. Definetly worth seeing a professional if you want to save your marriage, don't you think?
My son, who is similar to his father was very colicky. He also had/has sensory issues, meaning certain food texture's gag him, he only likes the feeling of certain clothes, he doesn't like cold drinks, alot of other little things that affect your senses he also has a very strong sense of smell, its very common in Asperger's. My husband also has sensory issues, he doesn't think he does, but he gags at certain foods can't swallow pills very good, can't walk barefoot, he has little odd things too. They each have their own set of things. It cracks me up sometimes.
I brought up the issue with him in a round about way, mostly referring to our son. He says to me "Man, all the things you are saying sounds exactly like you are describing ME!"
LOL!! I am so sneeky...
So I said "No, really, you think so? Well I'll read up more about it and let you know what I find"
I'm so glad you posted, thank you! Do you have any good links for reading about it?
There are physical things that can cause a man to have problems with the, how to put this, quality of their umm, well you know what I mean.
If he has high blood pressure and takes medication, this can make it difficult.
If he smokes, this over time reduces your circulation to all 5 of a mans extremties and can eventually lead to full impotence.
I do hope you can talk to him and get this addressed. I have always been told by people in happy marriages that a good love life, smoothes over the rough edges of other areas. Things that might annoy you otherwise like him not taking the trash out, or leaving his underwear on the floor.
you mentioned that he was married for 8 years to his first. That ALOT of time for a woman to train a man the wrong way (or the right way)and mess his head up. you dont say how much time has passed since the divorce, if he has any other kids, has child support payments, if theres financial issues in the house.
Point being that stress is a major factor in the WOOD. Men are totally visual creatures, but if the mind is off thinking about how his ex was such a ****** when they were married or something, that drains the wood faster than your kids walking in on you. It might take some time to retrain him that fanatical sex is really a wonderful thing.
i mention this, cause i used to have the same problem with my GF. I
had a VERY bad breakup with my ex-wife, was with her for 13 years and she was my first. she cheated on me after 12 years and 3 kids, and it took me a good 3 or 4 years to get it out of my head. Unfortunately sometimes it still creeps back in. And i was only 31 when i got divorced, so its not like i was in need of viagra. I used to have sex ALL the time when i was married to her.
I love women, i love looking at them talking to them, smelling them. i LOVE them, but i definitely had performance issues for a LONG time after the divorce. I went to doctors, i was in prime shape, and i really really really WANTED to have sex. But as soon as i had major wood and stuff started happening, stuff almost immediately stopped happening. it didnt matter if it was a 1 night stand or one of my stable (and thankfully very sensitive) girlfriends. What happens after that, is that i became extremely self-conscious about having sex and i would do everything i could to NOT have it. Funny thing is, i had no problem with masturbation. i could jerk the bird 10 times a day, no problem. I had no problem getting it up when i knew i couldnt have sex, like messing around in a bar, or something. But as soon as the clothes came off, it would wilt like a flower in the hot sun.
One thing you might try, since he likes really lookin at the ladies, is popping in a lil porn when you're getting ready to get it on. the added visual will probably help keep his mind on track. Dont take it the wrong way tho, the porn isnt a substitute for you, dont think of it that way. Think of it more as background music or something like that. ps, keep the volume low, but not totally off. you dont really wanna hear the porn dialog (does anybody??), but you do want to be able to catch a hint of a moan here and there.
Also, if you do try the porn thing, and you think he might be a lil more into the porn then he is into you (he really isnt, but if u think he is), face him a different way or slowly place yourself between him and the tv. If you feel the wood going soft, let him get a glimpse of the tv so he can see the competition, that should perk him right up, then put yourself in the middle again.
It all sounds pretty dumb for something as basic as sex, but its all about re-training the mind to focus on what the body is doing.
I hope this helps/makes sense. A realllly horny woman thats in love with her man is a terrible thing to waste.
Thank you for your post
That might be an issue too. His ex was a major B, and they didn't have the greatest sex life in the world from what he tells me. He would have to do things to get her ready, but it was like a routine that she wanted. Certain things, in order, same thing every time.
Plus she cheated on him over and over and over, since the very beginning of their relationship. Which really started to worry me lately. Maybe he is losing interest cuz he wants to cheat like she did to him? I dunno.
Plus I love it when it's all the way hard.....mmmmmmmm ...grrrrrrrr.
Honestly he is very very lucky to have a woman like me. I'm very sexually oriented, and that is rare. I don't get it.
This pisses me the hell off.
Yeah it basically sounds like he has a lot of stress and pressure in the Boff Department. Lay off him a bit, maybe your mega-horniness is striking him as something that is a precursor to cheating on him ? Without knowing his past, it's impossible to tell. Just go easy for a while, see where that goes. Maybe he wants to chase a bit more?
sackiwanny I really hope you take the advice you have been given especially stop focusing on the sex and acting like having raging hormones deserves a medal. It's not always a great trait but more of a pain in the butt. Go to counseling,please.
Yeah it basically sounds like he has a lot of stress and pressure in the Boff Department. Lay off him a bit, maybe your mega-horniness is striking him as something that is a precursor to cheating on him ? Without knowing his past, it's impossible to tell. Just go easy for a while, see where that goes. Maybe he wants to chase a bit more?
Chase what a bit more? Other girls, or me?
I have tried laying off, and it ends up that we never have sex, lol.
I don't attack him all the time, but I will lay off the poor guy for a few months and see where it goes.
But seriously, if he is interested he doesn't "start things" like a normal guy. He just maybe rubs me gently, if I don't start things they don't go anywhere.
But I will keep my hands to myself for a few months. And we'll see.
I have tried laying off, and it ends up that we never have sex, lol.
I don't attack him all the time, but I will lay off the poor guy for a few months and see where it goes.
But seriously, if he is interested he doesn't "start things" like a normal guy. He just maybe rubs me gently, if I don't start things they don't go anywhere.
But I will keep my hands to myself for a few months. And we'll see.
Ok ok. So basically he does start things, but you want him to pick you up in one arm and grab your asscheek with the other, and then proceed to throw you on the bed and devastate you in a caveman fashion. He's obviously still interested, but he sounds like more a shy type of dude. There's nothing wrong with that, maybe he's more feminine than you are! Maybe he likes a little foreplay and flirting and stuff before insertion, is all. I say you should keep going the way you were, and just realize that unless he does roids or drastically changes for some reason, he's never gonna be an aggressive horn dog that will give you a quickie two or three times a day. If you want that I suggest you forward your phone # to chiaroscuro, and get your divorce papers in order.
Actually it sounds like absolutely nothing is wrong with his penis, it's just that you are simply a little too aggressive, and maybe he wants to feel more like the man. When he 'rubs you' or something like that, that's initiating! He's starting the process, maybe he just doesn't feel comfortable w/o some equally softcore feedback from you. Try taking it slower. And even though I would love my woman to grab a handful of my c*ck'n'b*lls every day, that doesn't sound like something he's into.
Ok ok. So basically he does start things, but you want him to pick you up in one arm and grab your asscheek with the other, and then proceed to throw you on the bed and devastate you in a caveman fashion. He's obviously still interested, but he sounds like more a shy type of dude. There's nothing wrong with that, maybe he's more feminine than you are! Maybe he likes a little foreplay and flirting and stuff before insertion, is all. I say you should keep going the way you were, and just realize that unless he does roids or drastically changes for some reason, he's never gonna be an aggressive horn dog that will give you a quickie two or three times a day. If you want that I suggest you forward your phone # to chiaroscuro, and get your divorce papers in order.
Actually it sounds like absolutely nothing is wrong with his penis, it's just that you are simply a little too aggressive, and maybe he wants to feel more like the man. When he 'rubs you' or something like that, that's initiating! He's starting the process, maybe he just doesn't feel comfortable w/o some equally softcore feedback from you. Try taking it slower. And even though I would love my woman to grab a handful of my c*ck'n'b*lls every day, that doesn't sound like something he's into.
HAHA!! Yup, I guess everyone's tastes differ
I still think something is wrong with his... um manly thingy though. Yesterday again we were at it, and it started off rigid, then after a couple minutes not quite as much, enough to be noticeable too. Which just doesn't seem right. And believe me I do EVERYTHING I can to do my part in the dance if you know what I mean.
And it was still good from both our points of view, it's not that he can't finish, or anything.
But I want it to be as good as it can for both his pleasure and mine.
If this subject never gets resolved and it stays this way for the next 30 yrs, I won't be unhappy. But if things get worse, or he starts looking elsewhere cuz he thinks someone younger/hotter etc will "do it for him" That would SUCK!
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