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I don't think he is a loser, but it was people on this sub who told me in a previous post that he was. The main reasons I am worried he might be a loser is that he spends all of his free time sitting in the dark playing videogames, rarely goes out with friends, has no other hobbies, doesn't exercise.
I'm caught between thinking his behavior is perfectly fine and thinking it is genuinely problematic.
Is he possible he might be Autistic? Mechanical engineer + over addiction to video gaming + no other hobbies + not much interest in socializing, make me wonder.
Is he possible he might be Autistic? Mechanical engineer + over addiction to video gaming + no other hobbies + not much interest in socializing, make me wonder.
I think he might fall somewhere on the spectrum but ultimately no, I don't think he meets diagnostic criteria for Autism.
I guess I'm just wondering if this is typical behavior for a 24 year old guy and that maybe eventually he'll mature?
The guys I knew who were gamers in their mid-20s continued to be gamers into their 30s and probably even now in their 40s.
I had a boyfriend who was a gamer and was partly what led to our breakup, though he was employed and mostly ok, apart from some minor issues and gaming being one. We lived together, he would get home from work, eat dinner quickly, then immediately hop onto his game and stay on it until bedtime. On the weekends, maybe Friday nights, sometimes I could twist his arm go out to dinner or something, but again as soon as we got home, back on the game.
I got back in touch with him years later, he was unemployed, married to a nurse, and spent all day gaming and spending her money. She divorced him.
I knew I had dodged a bullet.
I think they tend to get worse. Its escapism. Healthy people might enjoy an hour or two of gaming on the weekends, but enjoy even more engaging in real life, especially when they have a significant other. They want to go out to dinner, go on hikes, get together with friends. 40 hours of gaming a week is way overboard in my opinion.
If its an addiction maybe you can stick by him and help him work through it. But just like you can't make an alcoholic quit, the alcoholic has to see the problem and decide on their own, its the same with any addiction.
I guess I'm just wondering if this is typical behavior for a 24 year old guy and that maybe eventually he'll mature?
Think of the Maya Angelou quote: "When people show you who they are, believe them."
He's young, but he's not going to suddenly want to go mountain biking with you. If you shared his interest in gaming that would be one thing, but you'e complained about his gaming in every thread you've started about this relationship. Don't think that you have to stay in a relationship that isn't making you happy because you've already sunk a few years into it. You can care about someone deeply and also recognize that neither of you are right for each other in the long run.
Is it reasonable for him to wonder if you'll morph into a gamer?
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