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Focus on your health. It is the most important thing in your life. Not this woman.
She is a distraction for you. I think you are trying to "fix" her because you are feeling out of control in your own life... so if you can't fix yourself, you are going to try to fix her.
It's about lacking control of one's own life.
Can you speak with one of your colleagues and have therapy with one of the other psychiatrists?
I have spoken to them about this. But I left out the part that I've been speaking to her about my cancer treatment. Most of my colleagues don't know as I am very personal with things like this.
This is simple. If a relationship makes you feel this way, and if someone you're in a relationship treats you this way, especially going through any diagnosis that you mentioned, then you need to cut her loose. These are clear signs that it is toxic and likely, no matter how hard you try, will never get better. When you reach a certain age you are who you are in the scheme of things.
Move on. Find someone better.
I know, easy for me on the internet to type out. But take it from me. A non-toxic relationship is the best. Find that.
This is simple. If a relationship makes you feel this way, and if someone you're in a relationship treats you this way, especially going through any diagnosis that you mentioned, then you need to cut her loose. These are clear signs that it is toxic and likely, no matter how hard you try, will never get better. When you reach a certain age you are who you are in the scheme of things.
Move on. Find someone better.
I know, easy for me on the internet to type out. But take it from me. A non-toxic relationship is the best. Find that.
I agree. I guess part of me was hopeful things could be different, but looking back I suppose she has always acted this way and even when I had her where I wanted, I still felt stressed out and controlled. Though, she often accuses me of doing the same thing to her and it only makes me feel confused especially where I am now since I gave her so much power. It is almost as if she hated seeing me get comfortable around her.
No psychiatrist would be asking for mental health advice from strangers on the internet.
Even we need advice with these sorts of things when our emotions prevent us from thinking clearly. And sometimes an anonymous forum is a good place to get that.
Quit those “vices”. Drinking, gambling and smoking are what’s killing you. Start walking, running and lifting weights and your life will be exponentially better in a reasonable about about time.
Forget about that broad she sounds like head case anyways.
Get clean yourself and the women will fall into place.
Block her. Focus on things that make you feel happy. Don't change yourself for someone else. It never works. Wait until you meet someone who loves you for who you are. They are out there, and you wont find them by trying to find them, but by doing hobbies and just being where there are people enjoying the same things you enjoy. Maybe do some MeetUp events for things that interest you when things open up. If you like hiking, biking, anything that meetup events have do those. You'll make froends and surround yourself with people that have similar interests.
That girl is bad news...manipulative, narcissistic, and soul sucking.
Quit those “vices”. Drinking, gambling and smoking are what’s killing you. Start walking, running and lifting weights and your life will be exponentially better in a reasonable about about time.
Forget about that broad she sounds like head case anyways.
Get clean yourself and the women will fall into place.
That is a good point. The stress of all of my training has pushed me towards these coping mechanisms. In my field of medicine, cigarettes also aren't as frowned upon to the same extent so it has made it very difficult for me to give them up. Some hospitals in some states still even allow you to smoke on the psychiatric floor.
You will not know everything about human behavior as a doctor. You will know what you need as a human through interactions with others. Come to the end of being a doctor in your interactions (you may be a better person than a doctor), start separating a professional and personal life, and acknowledge this is one 'conquest' you shouldn't suffer. Years from now it will make sense, but by that time, it won't matter any longer.
We don't fix everything. We do walk away from some things. We don't have to have an ethos about carving out a relationship with someone who is simply pushing our buttons. Take your time with more therapy to figure this out, but take no more time in kicking this one to the curb. Let her have her dalliances with others. The sexual trauma stuff is real, but you are not the doctor/partner to try to figure that out, because it hasn't worked yet and will not work. You know that thing about not dating patients? You can't turn your date into a patient either. Give it up.
(Spoke as a 2nd career psychologist, multiple years learning, 10 years practice; and yes, we do like the anonymity of on-line chats)
You will not know everything about human behavior as a doctor. You will know what you need as a human through interactions with others. Come to the end of being a doctor in your interactions (you may be a better person than a doctor), start separating a professional and personal life, and acknowledge this is one 'conquest' you shouldn't suffer. Years from now it will make sense, but by that time, it won't matter any longer.
We don't fix everything. We do walk away from some things. We don't have to have an ethos about carving out a relationship with someone who is simply pushing our buttons. Take your time with more therapy to figure this out, but take no more time in kicking this one to the curb. Let her have her dalliances with others. The sexual trauma stuff is real, but you are not the doctor/partner to try to figure that out, because it hasn't worked yet and will not work. You know that thing about not dating patients? You can't turn your date into a patient either. Give it up.
(Spoke as a 2nd career psychologist, multiple years learning, 10 years practice; and yes, we do like the anonymity of on-line chats)
I know that. I spent a lot of time when I was with her trying to work through her problems. And I think I absorbed a lot of her emotions in doing so and it didn’t effect me well. I had my guard up with her after she hurt me last summer and I instinctively let it down when I got sick as I didn’t really have a support network and thought I could trust her. I just wish I could have realized this before and it makes me feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself that I let someone do this to me not once, but twice.
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