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Old 08-06-2020, 10:02 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,640,807 times
Reputation: 98359

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
I have the drinks after she is asleep. Also having a drink or two is ok when breastfeeding.
It's past time to stop breastfeeding your 4-year-old.

You aren't meant to be a human pacifier, and it's apparently causing a wedge between you and your husband.

This is a problem you can actually control, as opposed to the working at home stuff and the contempt you have for his mom.

 
Old 08-06-2020, 10:11 AM
 
Location: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
4,087 posts, read 2,527,606 times
Reputation: 12489
Extended nursing aside.....I don't necessarily think that your husband is being a jerk. Weight gain is ultimately a health issue. Best to nip the weight gain in the bud while it's still relatively manageable. It might only be ten pounds now, but at your age especially, ten can rapidly turn into fifteen, then twenty.

Is there any chance that your husband can help to assist you in any weight-loss and fitness efforts by keeping your house clear of junk and snack foods (kids are no excuse to keep culinary garbage around as a regular part of their diet instead of as occasional treats) and to watch the children while you take an hour or so for yourself to take a brisk walk and/or work out to your favorite fitness video? Watch out for the empty calories in alcohol, too. It's easy to drink several hundred calories without realizing it.


Regarding the extreme hunger around your time of the month: I've always experienced that myself. I handle it by staying well-hydrated (thirst can manifest as hunger), keeping quality satiating foods around the house and going out for say, a small ice cream cone or sharing a candy bar with my partner if the urge to have a treat doesn't pass. It's hard to binge on bad-for-you stuff if it's not easily accessible.

Last edited by Formerly Known As Twenty; 08-06-2020 at 10:27 AM..
 
Old 08-06-2020, 10:21 AM
 
Location: Southern New Hampshire
10,026 posts, read 17,950,287 times
Reputation: 35732
OP is ignoring all the advice about STOPPING breastfeeding a 4-year-old. Clearly she doesn't want to stop.

OP, why is that?
 
Old 08-06-2020, 10:27 AM
 
2,674 posts, read 1,533,184 times
Reputation: 2021
We honestly don’t keep bad food in the house. No chips or cakes or anything like that. My weakness seems to be just eating more food and not exercising. Occasionally I over indulge at night in things like cheese crackers and nuts. I think the alcohol has been a big factor. I’ll often have some titos mixed with lemonade in the evening and that’s when the snacking kicks in. I’ve decided the booze has got to go.

And yes I do need to stop the breastfeeding. I don’t know why my daughter still wants to do it. Anytime I’m alone with her she wants to sit on my lap and nurse. She thinks it’s funny. She’ll be like mommy, I want boobie! I never expected to be doing this as long as I have. My husband is disgusted that it’s still happening. He has had her sleep in his bed to prevent it from happening. My son is 6 and still needs daddy to lay down with him at night too. Our sleeping situation is pretty messed up I guess.
 
Old 08-06-2020, 10:30 AM
 
Location: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
4,087 posts, read 2,527,606 times
Reputation: 12489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
We honestly don’t keep bad food in the house. No chips or cakes or anything like that. My weakness seems to be just eating more food and not exercising. Occasionally I over indulge at night in things like cheese crackers and nuts. I think the alcohol has been a big factor. I’ll often have some titos mixed with lemonade in the evening and that’s when the snacking kicks in. I’ve decided the booze has got to go.

And yes I do need to stop the breastfeeding. I don’t know why my daughter still wants to do it. Anytime I’m alone with her she wants to sit on my lap and nurse. She thinks it’s funny. She’ll be like mommy, I want boobie! I never expected to be doing this as long as I have. My husband is disgusted that it’s still happening. He has had her sleep in his bed to prevent it from happening. My son is 6 and still needs daddy to lay down with him at night too. Our sleeping situation is pretty messed up I guess.
If I recall, you recently moved to a new house. I wonder if that combined with the schedule disruptions caused by COVID has affected the family sleeping patterns?
 
Old 08-06-2020, 10:31 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,640,807 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post

My husband is disgusted that it’s still happening.
This is a problem, as you know.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post

He has had her sleep in his bed to prevent it from happening. My son is 6 and still needs daddy to lay down with him at night too. Our sleeping situation is pretty messed up I guess.
Yes, it is.

Why is there a "his bed"? Do you two sleep in separate rooms?

Have you two had sex since your daughter was born?
 
Old 08-06-2020, 10:32 AM
 
2,674 posts, read 1,533,184 times
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Default Re

Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty View Post
If I recall, you recently moved to a new house. I wonder if that combined with the schedule disruptions caused by COVID has affected the family sleeping patterns?
Yes we moved in May. The bad sleeping habits happened at the old house too. We told the kids they now have new rooms that they will be sleeping in but they don’t want to. They’re scarred to sleep alone so we give in.
 
Old 08-06-2020, 10:35 AM
 
5,289 posts, read 5,203,614 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
So I admit I’m in a bit of a rut now. I just turned 42, my kids are 4 and 6, I work full time and have been working full time from home since March due to the pandemic. Normally I’d be taking the train to my office and I’d have quite a bit of walking to do. Over the past year I’ve put on about 10 lbs. we have a 4 yr old who still nurses to sleep and it drives my husband crazy but I can’t seem to stop it. We’ve tried having the 4 yr old sleep with DH but she wakes up wanting me. I thought she’d ween herself but she hasn’t. I’ve gained weight and DH has a lot to say about this. Thinks I should be running, lifting etc. I would like to look better but I’m 42 and at 135 I think it could be much worse.

I’ve gained some weight but I don’t look that different. Is my DH a jerk!
So whos the adult and whos the child here??
 
Old 08-06-2020, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Mr. Roger's Neighborhood
4,087 posts, read 2,527,606 times
Reputation: 12489
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post
Yes we moved in May. The bad sleeping habits happened at the old house too. We told the kids they now have new rooms that they will be sleeping in but they don’t want to. They’re scarred to sleep alone so we give in.
That's rough. Sex aside, not having that late at night alone time in bed as a couple has to be tough on a marriage-- especially if you're "touched out" by the end of day since you've been working from home for months and your children have perhaps become a bit more barnacle-like than usual as a result.
 
Old 08-06-2020, 10:40 AM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,932 posts, read 59,640,807 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bridge781 View Post

And yes I do need to stop the breastfeeding. I don’t know why my daughter still wants to do it. Anytime I’m alone with her she wants to sit on my lap and nurse. She thinks it’s funny. She’ll be like mommy, I want boobie!
You can stop this right away. Just tell her that it's for babies, and she's not a baby anymore. Then immediately offer her a drink instead. Redirect her to something else.

As for bedtime, Dad is in charge of that from now on. She needs to know that boobs are done and not for milk anymore.

Then you can be in charge of getting your son to bed. Start new bedtime routines, and include a recorded bedtime story to keep them in their beds and listening.

It won't be easy, but you HAVE to make these changes. Take charge of your life.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty View Post

-- especially if you're "touched out" by the end of day since you've been working from home for months and your children have perhaps become a bit more barnacle-like than usual as a result.
This is a BIG thing for moms of small kids.
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