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‘found out on Facebook he had moved out of town and then saw he had a girlfriend and bragging about the wild and nasty weekend they had. Not sure if the girlfriend was the entire time we slept together or new. ‘
Sounds like a classy guy. Who puts these kinds of details on Facebook? I’m sure you can do better OP.
A friend would have done better so guess he wasn't a friend after all.
Well no he didn’t owe her anything but does just leaving without saying a word saying ok? Heck even if they had an actual relationship one could still say he doesn’t owe her anything. It’s just bizarre behavior really.
I can't disagree with what others have said. He wasn't much of a friend... did you know him long before sleeping with him?
For me whether or not I was sleeping with a friend is irrelevant but I understand that it would make some feel more attached, vulnerable and thus more painful when such things happen. I'd feel hurt if a friend treated me that way either way.
If he was just a friend with no benefits, or let's say a girlfriend that you had pizza with once a week. If that person moved and didn't tell you. ..... wouldn't that be strange? Wouldn't it be strange if they didn't tell you about their new bf? It would pretty much mean they never considered you a friend at all.
I had a friends with benefits-I can't say he was just a f*ck buddy because he would hang out with me before or after the deed-we ate, talked, watch movies. I dug him and his energy. I liked him but never pursued anything since I didn't think I was his type romantically.
This says it all. You kept having sex with him hoping it would turn into him wanting you to be his real girlfriend.
But the problem was, he had/has a girlfriend and he even moved away to be with her.
Maybe there is something he saw in you that made him leery about telling you he moved away. That he knows how you would react, negatively, and he wanted to avoid any confrontation.
Just forget about him. Next time, try dating a guy first, real dates... before jumping into bed with him. Respect yourself. You can do better.
Maybe there is something he saw in you that made him leery about telling you he moved away. That he knows how you would react, negatively, and he wanted to avoid any confrontation.
It could be basic human nature to avoid conflict. I don’t know the timing of the decision to move and the new girlfriend. In the 2020 COVID economy, moves can be sudden.
This says it all. You kept having sex with him hoping it would turn into him wanting you to be his real girlfriend.
But the problem was, he had/has a girlfriend and he even moved away to be with her.
Maybe there is something he saw in you that made him leery about telling you he moved away. That he knows how you would react, negatively, and he wanted to avoid any confrontation.
Just forget about him. Next time, try dating a guy first, real dates... before jumping into bed with him. Respect yourself. You can do better.
I never once said I kept having sex hoping it would turn into anything. I'm hurt because I considered him a friend. I knew we were not dating.
I never once said I kept having sex hoping it would turn into anything. I'm hurt because I considered him a friend. I knew we were not dating.
But the point people are trying to make is that FWB is supposed to be two people who are "just friends" who have sex because they trust each other and know it's not supposed to be romantic.
You liked him before you started this arrangement, and because of that you never should have entered into it. You set yourself up to be hurt because of the feelings you had before.
YOUR rationale isn't anything like a real FWB. Yours is just ... sad ... because you didn't even think you were "his type," but you slept with him anyway, so what did you think that meant he was doing???
But the point people are trying to make is that FWB is supposed to be two people who are "just friends" who have sex because they trust each other and know it's not supposed to be romantic.
You liked him before you started this arrangement, and because of that you never should have entered into it. You set yourself up to be hurt because of the feelings you had before.
YOUR rationale isn't anything like a real FWB. Yours is just ... sad ... because you didn't even think you were "his type," but you slept with him anyway, so what did you think that meant he was doing???
FWB or dating, to just move away and not say anything is rude. Friends with benefits are still friends. Just because there's no title doesn't mean they have to be rude or treat the woman like trash.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 7 days ago)
35,629 posts, read 17,961,729 times
Reputation: 50652
Nicole, this is why friends with benefits doesn't work. Humans aren't set up that way. It goes against our natures to have sex regularly with someone we aren't attached romantically to.
There was a groundbreaking book in the early 1970's - Open Marriage - and it was a best seller for nearly a year.
The authors rescinded their work years later - this just doesn't work.
Regular, detached non-monogamous sex isn't human behavior. Someone always gets hurt.
If you had a friendship where you went out for pizza every Thursday evening, he would feel differently about you and treat you with the respect owed a friend. FWB is so broken that there are no rules, and no expectations even of the kind of respect you receive from a platonic friend.
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