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I have an auto immune condition which requires me to have a pretty restrictive diet. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could sit around all day eating as much pizza as I please, but I just can't. Anyway, I was talking to a guy and as soon as I said I couldn't eat gluten or dairy he said it was a deal breaker. I actually thought at first he was kidding as he was being playful about it, but he was dead serious.
I guess each to their own, but I just found it a little strange because he could still eat whatever he wanted. He said he wouldn't be able to experience foods with me which was a big deal as he loves cheese.
Would a restrictive diet of someone you were dating be a deal breaker for you? I guess I just don't get what the big deal is.
Wow, that guy sounds like a joke and a sad excuse for a potential suitor for you. Good riddance to him.
For me, no. And I don't think for most guys either. But for me personally, it would just be something that makes you unique. Food is food. I'll order what I want off the menu and you should be able to do so as well, whether you have to or not. If I liked you and wanted to be with you, I literally couldn't care less if we couldn't share food or something. It's such a non issue to me.
This boggles my mind that it was a deal breaker for him. But don't sweat it. I'm sure you're fantastic and the majority of guys won't think twice about it. I know I wouldn't.
It's pretty common these days for people to have diets that are restricted in some way. the wheat/gluten issue is common, sugar/excess carbs/refined carbs is another. Dairy, too. I don't see a big deal with it. As long as you can still go to some restaurants and find an item or two on the menu that are ok for you, you can enjoy dining out with someone. I don't see why it would be a problem that you couldn't share their same, exact food, but apparently for that one guy, it was a deal-breaker.
Don't panic and assume a lot of people are this way, though. Focus instead on finding people who are sympathetic to your situation, and willing to be supportive.
Wow, that guy sounds like a joke and a sad excuse for a potential suitor for you. Good riddance to him.
For me, no. And I don't think for most guys either. But for me personally, it would just be something that makes you unique. Food is food. I'll order what I want off the menu and you should be able to do so as well, whether you have to or not. If I liked you and wanted to be with you, I literally couldn't care less if we couldn't share food or something. It's such a non issue to me.
This boggles my mind that it was a deal breaker for him. But don't sweat it. I'm sure you're fantastic and the majority of guys won't think twice about it. I know I wouldn't.
Thank you! I totally agreed but wondered if this was a thing that people who can eat anything feel. I found it totally bizarre myself.
I wonder if he assumed you would be trying to make him follow your diet?
I understand for you its a health issue, but there are a lot of people who follow restrictive diets as more a lifestyle choice; vegan, raw, paleo, etc., and require a partner who is into the same diet.
Maybe he didnt understand for you its a medical issue and not a lifestyle/philosophy?
I wonder if he assumed you would be trying to make him follow your diet?
I understand for you its a health issue, but there are a lot of people who follow restrictive diets as more a lifestyle choice; vegan, raw, paleo, etc., and require a partner who is into the same diet.
Maybe he didnt understand for you its a medical issue and not a lifestyle/philosophy?
He knows about my health issues and that I was totally fine with him eating whatever. He said he just found it a big deal as he likes going out with his gf and trying foods together and I wouldn't be able to do that.
He knows about my health issues and that I was totally fine with him eating whatever. He said he just found it a big deal as he likes going out with his gf and trying foods together and I wouldn't be able to do that.
He sounds like a douche then. Reminds me of an ex-boyfriend that forced me to stay awake watching movies with him just because he wanted someone else to watch with him, and had no consideration about the fact that I was exhausted and couldnt keep my eyes open. He'd yell at me every time I started to fall asleep.
He is being the deal breaker. Really immature mindset on his part.
He knows about my health issues and that I was totally fine with him eating whatever. He said he just found it a big deal as he likes going out with his gf and trying foods together and I wouldn't be able to do that.
I get why he was hesitant.
I mean, if you think about it, when you give someone a choice beforehand, date someone with some restrictions or date someone with no restrictions, lots of people would opt out. He has nothing invested in you, and figures he just doesn't want to deal with worrying about taking your limits into consideration if he doesn't HAVE to.
That doesn't make him a terrible person. If you were already in love, and you developed a food intolerance or a medically related food restriction, he would most likely support you in that.
Dating is the process of figuring out who has the most positives and the fewest negatives that you can tolerate the best. Obviously this was something he felt strongly about. We aren't required to accept everyone 100%.
Last edited by BirdieBelle; 08-09-2020 at 06:28 PM..
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,718,665 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by newintown89
I have an auto immune condition which requires me to have a pretty restrictive diet. Don't get me wrong, I wish I could sit around all day eating as much pizza as I please, but I just can't. Anyway, I was talking to a guy and as soon as I said I couldn't eat gluten or dairy he said it was a deal breaker. I actually thought at first he was kidding as he was being playful about it, but he was dead serious.
I guess each to their own, but I just found it a little strange because he could still eat whatever he wanted. He said he wouldn't be able to experience foods with me which was a big deal as he loves cheese.
Would a restrictive diet of someone you were dating be a deal breaker for you? I guess I just don't get what the big deal is.
Yeah, I’m kind of a foodie so someone with a restrictive diet would not work with me. I want us to try different food together, so it is better to not engage with someone who has restrictive diet for me.
What would turn me off would be some hard core [insert whatever food fad] who would either insist on my adopting their lifestyle, or criticize every bite I took. But the OP’s situation wouldn’t bother me at all.
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