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Old 11-13-2020, 08:49 AM
 
10,829 posts, read 10,215,901 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 87112 View Post
Hi all. I am terrible at this and need advice. I like my co worker very much. A few Saturdays ago I asked

1. Do you have anything exciting planned after work? She said no.

2. After that I said Saturday night is date night. Do you have a boyfriend? She said no

3. It's so risky asking co worker out so I did not do what I wanted.. From what you read did I tip my hand and showed interest?
Is this exactly how the conversation went...two questions and two brief "No" answers?

If that's the case, you may have showed interest, but she did not.

Last edited by Katnan; 11-13-2020 at 09:01 AM..
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Old 11-13-2020, 08:59 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
91,207 posts, read 88,120,465 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 87112 View Post
The company has really no policy towards office dating. What drew me towards her is she is very conservative. Non smoker and non drinker and the way she talks and acts is so high class. She is wife material from what I see. She is Asian like I am. She is Vietnamese and I am Chinese. I have waited my whole life for someone with her traits and well also Asian. I think it's ok to want that even in the over the top PC world

As for hobbies I am down to do whatever the heck she is cool with.
Cute. Well, there's no harm in trying!
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Old 11-13-2020, 09:00 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
91,207 posts, read 88,120,465 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 87112 View Post
Wait. If she is not interested why did she just not use the company line females use everytime " I have a BF".
Because she's honest. She doesn't like to lie. Some women don't.
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Old 11-13-2020, 09:05 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
26,255 posts, read 28,781,148 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Because she's honest. She doesn't like to lie. Some women don't.
Right. If she doesn't want to date you, you should be able to take that at face value, not becuase she made up a fake BF.
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Old 11-13-2020, 09:24 AM
 
13,279 posts, read 6,017,409 times
Reputation: 30540
Quote:
Originally Posted by 87112 View Post
The company has really no policy towards office dating. What drew me towards her is she is very conservative. Non smoker and non drinker and the way she talks and acts is so high class. She is wife material from what I see. She is Asian like I am. She is Vietnamese and I am Chinese. I have waited my whole life for someone with her traits and well also Asian. I think it's ok to want that even in the over the top PC world

As for hobbies I am down to do whatever the heck she is cool with.

I think you have at least indicated that you MIGHT be interested in her. Personally, I think you should invite her for lunch, since you both work together, and if you two seem to hit it off, ask her on a proper date.


I figure if she straight up WASN'T interested, she would've said she HAD a boyfriend.


Good luck! I hope it works out. :-)
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Old 11-13-2020, 09:27 AM
 
10,829 posts, read 10,215,901 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
I think you have at least indicated that you MIGHT be interested in her. Personally, I think you should invite her for lunch, since you both work together, and if you two seem to hit it off, ask her on a proper date.


I figure if she straight up WASN'T interested, she would've said she HAD a boyfriend.


Good luck! I hope it works out. :-)
I really hope young women are learning that a polite no is all that's required, instead of my generation who was still raised on being polite to spare a man's ego/pride/feelings, to her own detriment.
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Old 11-13-2020, 09:29 AM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
26,255 posts, read 28,781,148 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katnan View Post
I really hope young women are learning that a polite no is all that's required, instead of my generation who was still raised on being polite to spare a man's ego/pride/feelings, to her own detriment.
And it's also important that men learn to respect a woman and her "no" rather than respecting a fake man's territory.
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Old 11-13-2020, 09:36 AM
 
680 posts, read 240,876 times
Reputation: 1154
Quote:
Originally Posted by ImJin7 View Post
Before you try asking a co-worker out on a date, have you ever just gone out to lunch with her during work, or does your work not enable you to leave the premises during lunch or some such similar issue?
I agree with this. Start with lunch and get to know her. Let it develop slowly and go from there.
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Old 11-13-2020, 10:22 AM
 
2,520 posts, read 1,340,393 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mink57 View Post
Telling you that she doesn't have a boyfriend does NOT automatically mean that she's "interested" or even "available".
Agreed. My impression from my Asian friends is that expressing interest and dating is a bit more subdued than many of us are used to in the US. I think the idea of asking her to lunch or a coffee break to further gauge her level of interest (and to further express yours) would be a smart move.
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Old 11-13-2020, 10:47 AM
 
16,505 posts, read 29,502,206 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Because she's honest. She doesn't like to lie. Some women don't.
I have never wanted to give that kind of personal information, especially at work. She could easily and honestly say, "I keep work separate from social life." Asking if she has a boyfriend is a creepy way to indicate interest.
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