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Old 11-13-2020, 11:58 AM
 
2,581 posts, read 1,786,594 times
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At my previous job I had 3 women asking about me . One directly and 2 ask indirectly thru others whether I was single. I never gave it a 2nd thought if it was creepy. How can anything get done in life if such a simple question is now creepy.

Last edited by 87112; 11-13-2020 at 12:06 PM..
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Old 11-13-2020, 12:18 PM
 
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It's creepy to ask someone directly if they have a relationship in order to discern interest. I've had people ask me and it's not their business. If you want to go out with someone, say so. Whether someone is in a relationship or not, they might well not care to go out with the asker.
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Old 11-13-2020, 12:24 PM
 
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You are confused. The topic was whether I showed interest not the other way around.. I simply wanted to know her status without going thru coworkers which can be a hot mess with gossip.
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Old 11-13-2020, 12:44 PM
 
13,279 posts, read 6,073,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
And it's also important that men learn to respect a woman and her "no" rather than respecting a fake man's territory.

This is a good and fair point.


I guess I'm ok with white lies. LOL Anyway, she said she didn't have a boyfriend, and it seems like that at least leaves the door open, for him to ask her to lunch, or a date.
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Old 11-13-2020, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Moreno Valley, Ca
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I agree with the others who said to ask her to lunch first and see what happens.
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Old 11-13-2020, 02:49 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 87112 View Post
You are confused. The topic was whether I showed interest not the other way around.. I simply wanted to know her status without going thru coworkers which can be a hot mess with gossip.
Well, you still only know that she's "classy", doesn't smoke or drink (I can't imagine how you got that info), and doesn't have a bf. You don't know what her academic, career, or hobby interests are, how she enjoys spending her leisure time, what things are important to her in life, her professional goals (if any), favorite books, whether she's religious, and if so, what religion, etc. You have no idea if you two have anything in common, or if her parents want her to only date Vietnamese guys. She may be your type, but you don't know if you're her type.

But something tells me, you're going to at least try to find some of that out.

Good luck. If she agrees to go to lunch with you, it would be a huge (and frankly--unexpected IMO) breakthrough.
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Old 11-13-2020, 03:09 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
Well, you still only know that she's "classy", doesn't smoke or drink (I can't imagine how you got that info), and doesn't have a bf. You don't know what her academic, career, or hobby interests are, how she enjoys spending her leisure time, what things are important to her in life, her professional goals (if any), favorite books, whether she's religious, and if so, what religion, etc. You have no idea if you two have anything in common, or if her parents want her to only date Vietnamese guys. She may be your type, but you don't know if you're her type.

But something tells me, you're going to at least try to find some of that out.

Good luck. If she agrees to go to lunch with you, it would be a huge (and frankly--unexpected IMO) breakthrough.

So negative but it’s reality thanks for the head shake. I think I will give up and consider it another one gone.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

So many people have a depressing outlook on life. Unless it’s a guaranteed home run most encourage you to not even try.

Last edited by 87112; 11-13-2020 at 03:26 PM..
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Old 11-13-2020, 04:09 PM
 
Location: a primitive state
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So did you ask her out, or not? You should ask her, if you didn’t.
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Old 11-13-2020, 05:40 PM
 
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No. It’s a wrap. I will just try to avoid her till my interest eventually fades.
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Old 11-13-2020, 06:27 PM
 
3,710 posts, read 3,572,270 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 87112 View Post
No. It’s a wrap. I will just try to avoid her till my interest eventually fades.

Based on your position and hers within the same company is there an opportunity to perhaps get to know her tangentially on a group project? Or corporate giving like event?


It may make it easier to see her in different environment and subsequently if she still is of interest for you, to then ask her to go out for coffee / lunch where you can then express your interest in a relationship and whether that is something you both feel (if she reciprocates interest) you could pursue.


And yes, I surmise she probably did figure it out depending on how lighthearted you were in the asking of her if she has a BF w/ Saturday night being 'date night' and how much other interaction you have with her in past.



Work is still one of the top places couples meet. You just have to be mature adults about it. A few co workers from past jobs found partners that way. They both subsequently left the company but they were professional and adult about it and kept the 'relationship' outside the work environment.
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