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Location: In a perfect world winter does not exist
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At my previous job I had 3 women asking about me . One directly and 2 ask indirectly thru others whether I was single. I never gave it a 2nd thought if it was creepy. How can anything get done in life if such a simple question is now creepy.
It's creepy to ask someone directly if they have a relationship in order to discern interest. I've had people ask me and it's not their business. If you want to go out with someone, say so. Whether someone is in a relationship or not, they might well not care to go out with the asker.
Location: In a perfect world winter does not exist
3,657 posts, read 2,935,559 times
Reputation: 6739
You are confused. The topic was whether I showed interest not the other way around.. I simply wanted to know her status without going thru coworkers which can be a hot mess with gossip.
And it's also important that men learn to respect a woman and her "no" rather than respecting a fake man's territory.
This is a good and fair point.
I guess I'm ok with white lies. LOL Anyway, she said she didn't have a boyfriend, and it seems like that at least leaves the door open, for him to ask her to lunch, or a date.
You are confused. The topic was whether I showed interest not the other way around.. I simply wanted to know her status without going thru coworkers which can be a hot mess with gossip.
Well, you still only know that she's "classy", doesn't smoke or drink (I can't imagine how you got that info), and doesn't have a bf. You don't know what her academic, career, or hobby interests are, how she enjoys spending her leisure time, what things are important to her in life, her professional goals (if any), favorite books, whether she's religious, and if so, what religion, etc. You have no idea if you two have anything in common, or if her parents want her to only date Vietnamese guys. She may be your type, but you don't know if you're her type.
But something tells me, you're going to at least try to find some of that out.
Good luck. If she agrees to go to lunch with you, it would be a huge (and frankly--unexpected IMO) breakthrough.
Location: In a perfect world winter does not exist
3,657 posts, read 2,935,559 times
Reputation: 6739
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
Well, you still only know that she's "classy", doesn't smoke or drink (I can't imagine how you got that info), and doesn't have a bf. You don't know what her academic, career, or hobby interests are, how she enjoys spending her leisure time, what things are important to her in life, her professional goals (if any), favorite books, whether she's religious, and if so, what religion, etc. You have no idea if you two have anything in common, or if her parents want her to only date Vietnamese guys. She may be your type, but you don't know if you're her type.
But something tells me, you're going to at least try to find some of that out.
Good luck. If she agrees to go to lunch with you, it would be a huge (and frankly--unexpected IMO) breakthrough.
So negative but it’s reality thanks for the head shake. I think I will give up and consider it another one gone.
Thanks for the replies everyone.
So many people have a depressing outlook on life. Unless it’s a guaranteed home run most encourage you to not even try.
No. It’s a wrap. I will just try to avoid her till my interest eventually fades.
Based on your position and hers within the same company is there an opportunity to perhaps get to know her tangentially on a group project? Or corporate giving like event?
It may make it easier to see her in different environment and subsequently if she still is of interest for you, to then ask her to go out for coffee / lunch where you can then express your interest in a relationship and whether that is something you both feel (if she reciprocates interest) you could pursue.
And yes, I surmise she probably did figure it out depending on how lighthearted you were in the asking of her if she has a BF w/ Saturday night being 'date night' and how much other interaction you have with her in past.
Work is still one of the top places couples meet. You just have to be mature adults about it. A few co workers from past jobs found partners that way. They both subsequently left the company but they were professional and adult about it and kept the 'relationship' outside the work environment.
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