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Old 11-13-2020, 07:52 PM
 
Location: State of Transition
91,392 posts, read 88,378,683 times
Reputation: 99056

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Quote:
Originally Posted by 87112 View Post
So negative but it’s reality thanks for the head shake. I think I will give up and consider it another one gone.

Thanks for the replies everyone.

So many people have a depressing outlook on life. Unless it’s a guaranteed home run most encourage you to not even try.
I posted earlier, though, that it doesn't hurt to try. The thing is, what a lot of people do (women, as well as men), is project what they want to see onto the object of their interest, before the ever get to know them. And even when they're in the beginning stages of getting to know them, they're still projecting dreamy things onto them.

I was just pointing that out, that's all. And I think you should be prepared, for the fact that she could turn down your lunch invitation, because, since you know nothing about her, she may have a preference for some other type of guy. People tend to have preferred "types". But who knows, she might be open to you, especially if, as someone else suggested, you find a way to collaborate with her on a project at work, or find some other way to break the ice. It seems fairly clear, that your first attempt did not "break the ice".

Are there any holiday parties coming up at your office?
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Old 11-14-2020, 09:16 AM
 
18,636 posts, read 4,259,347 times
Reputation: 32764
Bull in the china show - hey it is date night, you have nobody?
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Old 11-14-2020, 10:47 AM
 
Location: State of Transition
91,392 posts, read 88,378,683 times
Reputation: 99056
Quote:
Originally Posted by Threestep2 View Post
Bull in the china shop - hey it is date night, you have nobody?
lol. Yeah, that was pretty obvious, I guess. That may be why she clammed up, and gave only one-word answers.
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Old 11-14-2020, 11:59 AM
 
4,770 posts, read 2,104,614 times
Reputation: 12425
Quote:
Originally Posted by 87112 View Post
The company has really no policy towards office dating. What drew me towards her is she is very conservative. Non smoker and non drinker and the way she talks and acts is so high class. She is wife material from what I see. She is Asian like I am. She is Vietnamese and I am Chinese. I have waited my whole life for someone with her traits and well also Asian. I think it's ok to want that even in the over the top PC world

As for hobbies I am down to do whatever the heck she is cool with.
What does "PC" have to do with anything? That has nothing to do with the reasons why it might be a bad idea to date a coworker.

And... you don't have any of your own hobbies? Most people want to be in a relationship with someone who is their own independent person with their own interests, not someone who will just follow them around.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Mink57 View Post
Telling you that she doesn't have a boyfriend does NOT automatically mean that she's "interested" or even "available".
Nor does every woman say she is in a relationship if she isn't. But do you know why they do, OP? Because they know they're less likely to be hassled by the guy than if they just say "I'm not interested." That, and the way society has raised women to always be "nice" and so, telling a guy they're not into him would be "mean," so they come up with another excuse why they just can't go out with him instead.

It's not some vast female conspiracy against you, OP... it's literally women trying to protect themselves from either the ire of a man they reject, or the judgment of society.


Quote:
Originally Posted by 87112 View Post
So many people have a depressing outlook on life. Unless it’s a guaranteed home run most encourage you to not even try.
You're the one worried about whether she now "knows" you're into her. If you weren't concerned about the odds, why would you care if she knows?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth View Post
lol. Yeah, that was pretty obvious, I guess. That may be why she clammed up, and gave only one-word answers.
Yes, I always thought it was considered a pretty obvious sign when someone asks if a person has a significant other. Most people I can think of avoid it unless they want to (rather overtly) signal interest.
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