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Some people--especially women--get married for the purpose of having a family. The only way (aside from artificial insemination) to do that is through sex. They may not see sex as something "fun" to do as a couple, WITHOUT the benefit of producing children. Once they have children, there's no purpose in having sex.
Other people get married because they believe that once they're married, they'll have a constant never ending stream of sex on a 'regular' basis...WITHOUT producing children. Big "O's" by their spouse whenever they want.
Some people will stay in "sexless" marriages/relationships because they value the rest of the relationship MORE than they value sex. Some stay for a while, hoping their partner will change, and they'll leave if they don't.
If you go on other relationship forums, you'll see that many people stay in "sexless" (I really hate that term) relationships for much longer than 6 years. AND, they haven't cheated. Some are absolutely depressed over it. Some are o.k. with it, but wish it could be different. Others are perfectly fine with it. The reasons they stay vary. Could be because they value keeping their family intact over divorce, or they realize that sex (for them) really isn't as important as they once thought. And every reason in between.
I was going to post that very same thing. And these are young women in their 30's. I was doing substitute teaching and sat in the teacher lunchroom and heard an earful one day about just that.
Some people--especially women--get married for the purpose of having a family. The only way (aside from artificial insemination) to do that is through sex. They may not see sex as something "fun" to do as a couple, WITHOUT the benefit of producing children. Once they have children, there's no purpose in having sex.
Other people get married because they believe that once they're married, they'll have a constant never ending stream of sex on a 'regular' basis...WITHOUT producing children. Big "O's" by their spouse whenever they want.
Some people will stay in "sexless" marriages/relationships because they value the rest of the relationship MORE than they value sex. Some stay for a while, hoping their partner will change, and they'll leave if they don't.
If you go on other relationship forums, you'll see that many people stay in "sexless" (I really hate that term) relationships for much longer than 6 years. AND, they haven't cheated. Some are absolutely depressed over it. Some are o.k. with it, but wish it could be different. Others are perfectly fine with it. The reasons they stay vary. Could be because they value keeping their family intact over divorce, or they realize that sex (for them) really isn't as important as they once thought. And every reason in between.
I think that was it for his situation, plus I think he stayed for his children as well. He must've thought once kids weren't toddlers anymore it would get better but it didn't. I do remember him telling me that he had reached a certain point where he didn't even want to have sex with her anymore, and I think that's when he realized he was unhappy.
Also when we say "sexless" does that include affection and kissing? I'm just wondering because I think if I had a family maybe I could live without the actual sex, but I would still crave affection from my SO.
I was going to post that very same thing. And these are young women in their 30's. I was doing substitute teaching and sat in the teacher lunchroom and heard an earful one day about just that.
Actually, I think it's more common than people think.
It's not necessarily something that's conscious. But some women (and a few men) obviously do know this, and are more conscious of it than others.
I was going to post that very same thing. And these are young women in their 30's. I was doing substitute teaching and sat in the teacher lunchroom and heard an earful one day about just that.
I think some women just say that without actually meaning it, they say it for shock value. I'm not saying every woman does that, but I don't think there's lot of women walking around just wanting to have sex purely for reproducing. One of my close friends always said she could take sex or leave it, yet her and her husband have a great sex life and I'm sure if that ever stopped she would miss it. So I think a lot of women say these kind of things without actually meaning them.
Actually, I think it's more common than people think.
It's not necessarily something that's conscious. But some women (and a few men) obviously do know this, and are more conscious of it than others.
If you are young (aged 20-50) and don't want to have sex at all, we're led to believe you must be suffering from a medical condition. How many posts have there been on this forum alone about a relationship where the person's partner does not want to have sex, and the typical response is "are they suffering from a medical condition?" Or that their partner is not physically attracted to them, but assuming they are, very rarely is "maybe the person just doesn't have any sexual desire" an acceptable explanation.
If you are young (aged 20-50) and don't want to have sex at all, we're led to believe you must be suffering from a medical condition. How many posts have there been on this forum alone about a relationship where the person's partner does not want to have sex, and the typical response is "are they suffering from a medical condition?" Or that their partner is not physically attracted to them, but assuming they are, very rarely is "maybe the person just doesn't have any sexual desire" an acceptable explanation.
Don’t forget if the partner has gotten obese or unkept.
Don’t forget if the partner has gotten obese or unkept.
Would that be the person who doesn't want sex, or the person who does? If it's the person who does, then that would fall under lack of physical attraction.
Would that be the person who doesn't want sex, or the person who does? If it's the person who does, then that would fall under lack of physical attraction.
So I was just wondering if any men on here had the same experience? Stuck in a sexless marriage for years, and did you leave eventually? Did you cheat? How did you cope?
Yes, I was in a nearly sexless marriage for years. I didn't cheat, but I was certainly tempted and had the motivation! When I fully realized that things would not change, I divorced her and soon found a far better relationship with far more - and better - sex.
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