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I (27/f) met a guy (30) a few months ago through my cousin. My cousin went to school with him and they became best friends, like brother and sister actually. Anyways, I moved back to my hometown about 2 months ago and started hanging out my cousin again. We all hung out as a group and I developed an interest in this guy. We eventually exchanged numbers. My cousin found out and warned me that he had just gotten out of a serious relationship. I asked for more details (how long ago, length of the relationship, etc.)
So the backstory - he was with her for almost 2 years, she was his first very serious adult relationship, he wanted to marry her. They broke up in October but officially stopped talking in December - they had planned for him to spend Xmas with her family. Apparently, he was kind of being jackass towards the end of the relationship and so she said that either they go to couples counseling or he could walk. He told her he wasn’t going to go. So she just told him “okay” then left. They haven’t talked since (December).
As I mentioned he and my cousin are like brother and sister so they hang out quite a bit and he confides in her. My cousin told me that he watches her stories every single time she posts. He liked a post 2 weeks ago that said, “the person you’re stressing over, well they’re Mod cut. someone else, let it go.” Or just a few days ago, “don’t lose your mind over someone who doesn’t mind losing you.” My cousin also told me that it was the ex’s mom’s birthday on the 31st, well he texted the mom happy birthday. My cousin noted that he and the mom weren’t extremely close. Got along, but not close.
He was out a few days ago and got some free merchandise (beenie hats) from a law firm that happened to be the ex’s name. He posted a story saying “oh I got free merchandise from *insert law firm/ex’s name”. My cousin thought he did this on purpose to get her attention, I however just thought it was coincidence and he wanted to show off the free merchandise. Two nights ago he posted a meme that said, “Are you gorilla glue because I can’t can’t get my mind off of you” then with the letters/caption MED under the post. My cousin said the ex’s full name is (changed for post), Mary Elizabeth Donaldson - the ex’s initials are MED. Is that just coincidence?
So after my cousin told me all of this I confided in my best friend. My best friend said she believes he still wants to be with his ex. I disagree, if he still wanted to be with her he wouldn’t forming other relationships with women, aka me. I do, however, still think he’s just grieving the relationship. You can still care about someone and not still want to be with him (why he told her no to counseling) and I’m flying out (he relocated for work last month) to spend the Valentine’s Day weekend with him. If I’m with him this weekend it clearly means he doesn’t want her back, IMO.
So does he still want to be with his ex?
Moderator note re: Post #69:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Beckyd3390
Honestly, I’m actually 22. I turned 22 in September. I just said I was 27 because I thought I’d be too young to use this forum. The guy in question is 30 though.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 03-02-2021 at 05:23 PM..
Reason: Vulgarity. Also, merged 2 threads on same topic.
You need to ask him. Also just because he's "forming" another relationship with you doesn't mean you're safe and he won't go back to her. Rebound relationships are definitely a thing. He has more history with her. He just met you.
He is still not over his ex and won't refuse an easy lay which is what you are to him. You deserve better than sloppy seconds from a man who has his heart set on someone else.
Did you stop to consider why his ex requested counseling in order to continue their relationship. Don't waste your time and feelings on this guy unless you enjoy being used like a blow up doll and being put through changes. Sorry to be blunt.
he was with her for almost 2 years, she was his first very serious adult relationship, he wanted to marry her. They broke up in October but officially stopped talking in December - they had planned for him to spend Xmas with her family. Apparently, he was kind of being jackass towards the end of the relationship and so she said that either they go to couples counseling or he could walk.
Yikes. Imagine being in your first adult relationship and your partner insisting you need couples therapy!
Take out my cousin does it still seem like he wants to be with her?
Wake up. He’s roughly 60 days removed from the only serious relationship he’s ever had. Couple that with all the high school social media non sense and I would stay far away.
From his perspective, he has, assuming an attractive women, willing to fly in for the weekend with whom he has no strings attached, and will likely do whatever he wants to her, multiple times over the course of the weekend. Then magically she just goes away.
Certainly great for getting over a breakup, not exactly a solid foundation for a successful relationship.
I (27/f) met a guy (30) a few months ago through my cousin. My cousin went to school with him and they became best friends, like brother and sister actually. Anyways, I moved back to my hometown about 2 months ago and started hanging out my cousin again. We all hung out as a group and I developed an interest in this guy. We eventually exchanged numbers. My cousin found out and warned me that he had just gotten out of a serious relationship. I asked for more details (how long ago, length of the relationship, etc.)
So the backstory - he was with her for almost 2 years, she was his first very serious adult relationship, he wanted to marry her. They broke up in October but officially stopped talking in December - they had planned for him to spend Xmas with her family. Apparently, he was kind of being jackass towards the end of the relationship and so she said that either they go to couples counseling or he could walk. He told her he wasn’t going to go. So she just told him “okay” then left. They haven’t talked since (December).
As I mentioned he and my cousin are like brother and sister so they hang out quite a bit and he confides in her. My cousin told me that he watches her stories every single time she posts. He liked a post 2 weeks ago that said, “the person you’re stressing over, well they’re [Snip.] someone else, let it go.” Or just a few days ago, “don’t lose your mind over someone who doesn’t mind losing you.” My cousin also told me that it was the ex’s mom’s birthday on the 31st, well he texted the mom happy birthday. My cousin noted that he and the mom weren’t extremely close. Got along, but not close.
He was out a few days ago and got some free merchandise (beenie hats) from a law firm that happened to be the ex’s name. He posted a story saying “oh I got free merchandise from *insert law firm/ex’s name”. My cousin thought he did this on purpose to get her attention, I however just thought it was coincidence and he wanted to show off the free merchandise. Two nights ago he posted a meme that said, “Are you gorilla glue because I can’t can’t get my mind off of you” then with the letters/caption MED under the post. My cousin said the ex’s full name is (changed for post), Mary Elizabeth Donaldson - the ex’s initials are MED. Is that just coincidence?
So after my cousin told me all of this I confided in my best friend. My best friend said she believes he still wants to be with his ex. I disagree, if he still wanted to be with her he wouldn’t forming other relationships with women, aka me. I do, however, still think he’s just grieving the relationship. You can still care about someone and not still want to be with him (why he told her no to counseling) and I’m flying out (he relocated for work last month) to spend the Valentine’s Day weekend with him. If I’m with him this weekend it clearly means he doesn’t want her back, IMO.
So does he still want to be with his ex?
So many red flags here.
Not only have you been told that the guy was a jackass, and his ex gave him an ultimatum about counseling, and he declined....but you're willing to spend money to fly and go see this guy.
It's all common sense. Use your brain, not your heart.
If you go, this will be one of the regrets you look back on during sleepless nights.
Wake up. He’s roughly 60 days removed from the only serious relationship he’s ever had. Couple that with all the high school social media non sense and I would stay far away.
From his perspective, he has, assuming an attractive women, willing to fly in for the weekend with whom he has no strings attached, and will likely do whatever he wants to her, multiple times over the course of the weekend. Then magically she just goes away.
Certainly great for getting over a breakup, not exactly a solid foundation for a successful relationship.
Okay, but he’s spending Valentine’s Day weekend with me and he didn’t choose to call her. To me that means he’s not interested in her though, right?
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