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Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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I was invited to a wedding. Ceremony and reception are at the same place, a lovely old historical inn.
The bride-to-be let it slip that actually she and her groom will already have been married by the time they get to the inn. They are having a separate wedding ceremony at a church earlier in the day. Some of her wedding guests have been invited to the church, but most have not.
They are "pretending" that the second ceremony at the inn is their actual wedding.
The wedding invite clearly says it's a wedding and not a vow renewal.
I think the whole thing is tacky. What do you think? Is it wrong to "pretend" you are exchanging wedding vows for the first time even though you're already married?
This does sound unusual. When I first saw your thread title, I thought it was about renewing vows upon some anniversary milestone, but that's not the case here. Aside from being unusual, it's dishonest, deceptive. What's not too unusual, is to invite one group for the actual wedding, then have the reception in a separate location, with a larger number of people attending. But that doesn't describe this situation, either.
Are either of the couples a member of a super-strict or fringe religion?
I had a remotely/slightly similar situation where the groom was a super strict Catholic or a particular ethnic group that often takes it even a couple steps further. The couple had been married in a civil ceremony but never admitted it and then got everyone to believe the church wedding was the first.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,937,291 times
Reputation: 9885
Quote:
Originally Posted by KemBro71
Are either of the couples a member of a super-strict or fringe religion?
I had a remotely/slightly similar situation where the groom was a super strict Catholic or a particular ethnic group that often takes it even a couple steps further. The couple had been married in a civil ceremony but never admitted it and then got everyone to believe the church wedding was the first.
My ex's daughter did something similar, but got married in secret two months before their actual destination wedding. I can't imagine having the gall to ask people to spend $$$$ and vacation time for a destination wedding when the bride and groom are already married.
It doesn’t sound THAT weird. Maybe the chapel in the church is small and they don’t have much room? The civil ceremony is for the rest of their friends. Just go along and enjoy the event. It’ll probably make more sense later.
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
4,640 posts, read 11,937,291 times
Reputation: 9885
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruth4Truth
This does sound unusual. When I first saw your thread title, I thought it was about renewing vows upon some anniversary milestone, but that's not the case here. Aside from being unusual, it's dishonest, deceptive. What's not too unusual, is to invite one group for the actual wedding, then have the reception in a separate location, with a larger number of people attending. But that doesn't describe this situation, either.
Yeah, we've been invited to wedding celebrations and not been invited to the actual ceremony and that was clearly communicated to us.
I'm just annoyed because we've already paid for the hotel room/transportation to attend the wedding. We were excited to attend the wedding. Had we known this was simply a reception/party/vow renewal/re-enactment, we would've skipped it.
Yeah, we've been invited to wedding celebrations and not been invited to the actual ceremony and that was clearly communicated to us.
I'm just annoyed because we've already paid for the hotel room/transportation to attend the wedding. We were excited to attend the wedding. Had we known this was simply a reception/party/vow renewal/re-enactment, we would've skipped it.
I don't know all the details, but it seems weird to characterize it as a vow renewal. It seems like they're having a tiny private ceremony for some undisclosed reason but then a larger one PLUS the reception that includes everyone. I guess I just am willing, in these current times, to give their reasons the benefit of the doubt.
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