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I have a dating question for you! Recently I have been chatting with a girl I know from high school (15 years ago). We had a small fling back then. Then I moved out of town and didn’t see her anymore. A few months ago I had a match with her on a dating app. It was just after Christmas. I said hello and stuff. She didn’t say anything back so I kind of forgot about her. Then two months later she responded to me and we started chatting on this dating app. After a while she gave me her number so we could chat further on Whatsapp.
We chatted and it was fun and then she told me she wanted to video call with me. I (video)called her and we spoke for about 2+ hours. It was fun and we continued chatting on Whatsapp.
Now she does respond to me very quickly (within one hour or so) and shows interest in me, but sometimes she just stops responding. I wait for like 4 to 5 days for her response in vain and after that I will take the initiative again. This happened a few times now. I don’t say anything to her just to wait for her to respond to my question. After 4 days of waiting I say something to her again and she responds back and we continue chatting like we did before. Sometimes I see her online on the dating app we met on so I assume she is talking to some other guys. I find this not a real problem since I don’t have anything with her right now, but I do doubt her interest in me.
I asked her again for a second video call/ date. She didn’t respond and I thought she wouldn’t respond again at all, but suddenly two days later she responded saying she thought it was a good plan to do a second video call/ date. I asked her when she would be able to and she responded she would get back to me with that. However, I have been waiting for her for days again. The thing is I'm usually the one that is taking the initiative. She almost never initiates. She does respond rather indepth to my questions and asks me questions back, but then suddenly stops talking for days.
I want to ask you two things: 1. Do you think she is interested in me? and 2. What should I do now? I’m afraid that if I don’t say anything to her myself (i.e. taking the initiative again) she will not respond and get back to me about the second video call and everything will fade away. But on the other hand if I do take the initiative again, and she responds to that, I will not find out if she really likes me or is interested in me and just responds back because of politeness. Should I not say anything and keep waiting for her with the possibility that she will not get back to me at all? I know she is busy but not responding to me for days might also be a signal? Should I just tell her - in let’s say a week from now if she still hasn’t said anything to me about the second video call/ date - that I will stop with it and get on with my life again? Thanks in advance!
You know, women are like cats and cats like to come and go as they please. If you message her and she doesnt respond, just forget about it until she does. Better yet, find another woman or women that you can talk to in the meantime. If she doesnt respond, that means her attraction to you was low and you would have been wasting your time anyway. One piece of advice, try to avoid spending countless of hours of online interaction because it dissolves all mystery about you as a man. If she contacts you, talk for few minutes (even if its a video chat) and ask her to get together, so you can talk more over drinks or a meal. Something like "really glad to see you, but I have to run. How about we get together at such and such place, on this date and time? Id love to continue this conversation/looking forward to you telling me all abut it"
If she rejects and doesnt offer an alternative, it once again means her attraction level is too low for you to bother. Otherwise, meet her in person, have fun, hook up. Let her chase you. Give her the gift of space, and ability to make your interactions seem like its all her idea. A woman that is interested in you, should be initiating conversation via text 70-80% of the time, in order for her level attraction to you grow. After all, you are a man of high value that has a busy schedule and other women as options. Yur job is to get off the phone, set a date in person, have fun, hook up - rinse repeat
I have a dating question for you! Recently I have been chatting with a girl I know from high school (15 years ago). We had a small fling back then. Then I moved out of town and didn’t see her anymore. A few months ago I had a match with her on a dating app. It was just after Christmas. I said hello and stuff. She didn’t say anything back so I kind of forgot about her. Then two months later she responded to me and we started chatting on this dating app. After a while she gave me her number so we could chat further on Whatsapp.
We chatted and it was fun and then she told me she wanted to video call with me. I (video)called her and we spoke for about 2+ hours. It was fun and we continued chatting on Whatsapp.
Now she does respond to me very quickly (within one hour or so) and shows interest in me, but sometimes she just stops responding. I wait for like 4 to 5 days for her response in vain and after that I will take the initiative again. This happened a few times now. I don’t say anything to her just to wait for her to respond to my question. After 4 days of waiting I say something to her again and she responds back and we continue chatting like we did before. Sometimes I see her online on the dating app we met on so I assume she is talking to some other guys. I find this not a real problem since I don’t have anything with her right now, but I do doubt her interest in me.
I asked her again for a second video call/ date. She didn’t respond and I thought she wouldn’t respond again at all, but suddenly two days later she responded saying she thought it was a good plan to do a second video call/ date. I asked her when she would be able to and she responded she would get back to me with that. However, I have been waiting for her for days again. The thing is I'm usually the one that is taking the initiative. She almost never initiates. She does respond rather indepth to my questions and asks me questions back, but then suddenly stops talking for days.
I want to ask you two things: 1. Do you think she is interested in me? and 2. What should I do now? I’m afraid that if I don’t say anything to her myself (i.e. taking the initiative again) she will not respond and get back to me about the second video call and everything will fade away. But on the other hand if I do take the initiative again, and she responds to that, I will not find out if she really likes me or is interested in me and just responds back because of politeness. Should I not say anything and keep waiting for her with the possibility that she will not get back to me at all? I know she is busy but not responding to me for days might also be a signal? Should I just tell her - in let’s say a week from now if she still hasn’t said anything to me about the second video call/ date - that I will stop with it and get on with my life again? Thanks in advance!
Reading tea leaves just takes a lot of mental energy and you still won't really know until you ask her out. She might be slow about returning calls because she is busy with life or because she doesn't want to get over invested in you, if you aren't interested in her.
The easiest way to clarify her intentions is for you to just ask her out. Have a specific plan on a specific day and time with a back up option. Make sure she knows its a date. Hey I wanted to ask you out, do you want to go roller blading on Saturday afternoon or would meeting for sushi on Tuesday night after work, work better for you? If she says yes, great. If she say no to both options and doesn't counter to meet on another time, you know she is not interested.
I have a dating question for you! Recently I have been chatting with a girl I know from high school (15 years ago). We had a small fling back then. Then I moved out of town and didn’t see her anymore. A few months ago I had a match with her on a dating app. It was just after Christmas. I said hello and stuff. She didn’t say anything back so I kind of forgot about her. Then two months later she responded to me and we started chatting on this dating app. After a while she gave me her number so we could chat further on Whatsapp.
We chatted and it was fun and then she told me she wanted to video call with me. I (video)called her and we spoke for about 2+ hours. It was fun and we continued chatting on Whatsapp.
Now she does respond to me very quickly (within one hour or so) and shows interest in me, but sometimes she just stops responding. I wait for like 4 to 5 days for her response in vain and after that I will take the initiative again. This happened a few times now. I don’t say anything to her just to wait for her to respond to my question. After 4 days of waiting I say something to her again and she responds back and we continue chatting like we did before. Sometimes I see her online on the dating app we met on so I assume she is talking to some other guys. I find this not a real problem since I don’t have anything with her right now, but I do doubt her interest in me.
I asked her again for a second video call/ date. She didn’t respond and I thought she wouldn’t respond again at all, but suddenly two days later she responded saying she thought it was a good plan to do a second video call/ date. I asked her when she would be able to and she responded she would get back to me with that. However, I have been waiting for her for days again. The thing is I'm usually the one that is taking the initiative. She almost never initiates. She does respond rather indepth to my questions and asks me questions back, but then suddenly stops talking for days.
I want to ask you two things: 1. Do you think she is interested in me? and 2. What should I do now? I’m afraid that if I don’t say anything to her myself (i.e. taking the initiative again) she will not respond and get back to me about the second video call and everything will fade away. But on the other hand if I do take the initiative again, and she responds to that, I will not find out if she really likes me or is interested in me and just responds back because of politeness. Should I not say anything and keep waiting for her with the possibility that she will not get back to me at all? I know she is busy but not responding to me for days might also be a signal? Should I just tell her - in let’s say a week from now if she still hasn’t said anything to me about the second video call/ date - that I will stop with it and get on with my life again? Thanks in advance!
IMO, assume she's playing the field. And know that you can do the same. If it were me, I'd stop initiating for now.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,763,058 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DeGoffertse
Hi!
I have a dating question for you! Recently I have been chatting with a girl I know from high school (15 years ago). We had a small fling back then. Then I moved out of town and didn’t see her anymore. A few months ago I had a match with her on a dating app. It was just after Christmas. I said hello and stuff. She didn’t say anything back so I kind of forgot about her. Then two months later she responded to me and we started chatting on this dating app. After a while she gave me her number so we could chat further on Whatsapp.
We chatted and it was fun and then she told me she wanted to video call with me. I (video)called her and we spoke for about 2+ hours. It was fun and we continued chatting on Whatsapp.
Now she does respond to me very quickly (within one hour or so) and shows interest in me, but sometimes she just stops responding. I wait for like 4 to 5 days for her response in vain and after that I will take the initiative again. This happened a few times now. I don’t say anything to her just to wait for her to respond to my question. After 4 days of waiting I say something to her again and she responds back and we continue chatting like we did before. Sometimes I see her online on the dating app we met on so I assume she is talking to some other guys. I find this not a real problem since I don’t have anything with her right now, but I do doubt her interest in me.
I asked her again for a second video call/ date. She didn’t respond and I thought she wouldn’t respond again at all, but suddenly two days later she responded saying she thought it was a good plan to do a second video call/ date. I asked her when she would be able to and she responded she would get back to me with that. However, I have been waiting for her for days again. The thing is I'm usually the one that is taking the initiative. She almost never initiates. She does respond rather indepth to my questions and asks me questions back, but then suddenly stops talking for days.
I want to ask you two things: 1. Do you think she is interested in me? and 2. What should I do now? I’m afraid that if I don’t say anything to her myself (i.e. taking the initiative again) she will not respond and get back to me about the second video call and everything will fade away. But on the other hand if I do take the initiative again, and she responds to that, I will not find out if she really likes me or is interested in me and just responds back because of politeness. Should I not say anything and keep waiting for her with the possibility that she will not get back to me at all? I know she is busy but not responding to me for days might also be a signal? Should I just tell her - in let’s say a week from now if she still hasn’t said anything to me about the second video call/ date - that I will stop with it and get on with my life again? Thanks in advance!
I think it is totally fair to expect some effort out of her at this point. I think she likes the idea of you sometimes but you are expendable. I'd not initiate again and expect her to not come back this time.
At this point I think you should just wait. She may be seeing other people and between that and her life, it could just be she's very busy. Just get on with your life. If she contacts you great, if not, no time wasted.
You know, women are like cats and cats like to come and go as they please. If you message her and she doesnt respond, just forget about it until she does. Better yet, find another woman or women that you can talk to in the meantime. If she doesnt respond, that means her attraction to you was low and you would have been wasting your time anyway. One piece of advice, try to avoid spending countless of hours of online interaction because it dissolves all mystery about you as a man. If she contacts you, talk for few minutes (even if its a video chat) and ask her to get together, so you can talk more over drinks or a meal. Something like "really glad to see you, but I have to run. How about we get together at such and such place, on this date and time? Id love to continue this conversation/looking forward to you telling me all abut it"
If she rejects and doesnt offer an alternative, it once again means her attraction level is too low for you to bother. Otherwise, meet her in person, have fun, hook up. Let her chase you. Give her the gift of space, and ability to make your interactions seem like its all her idea. A woman that is interested in you, should be initiating conversation via text 70-80% of the time, in order for her level attraction to you grow. After all, you are a man of high value that has a busy schedule and other women as options. Yur job is to get off the phone, set a date in person, have fun, hook up - rinse repeat
Well she already like the idea of a second video call. In that second video call I want to ask her to meet in rea life. The problem is Covid. I live in the Netherlands and we have a lockdown meaning almost everything is closed. Thats why we videocall. I just dont get why we chatted before very well and now its almost dead?
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