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Like I asked in the other thread, HOW do *you* determine her (level of) interest?
If you’re asking me specifically...I don’t even know. Women being interested in me is so extremely rare in my life that it’s easier for me to describe behavior that I don’t see, that I have never seen directed at me but have seen directed at other guys. For me, all I have is a negative, really...polite and friendly isn’t a sign of interest. That’s a false positive I’ve fallen for nearly more times than I can count (somewhere around 30-35 times now, to be inexact).
That’s a false positive I’ve fallen for nearly more times than I can count (somewhere around 30-35 times now, to be inexact).
Yeah, been there, done that...you'd be surprised how many women I have a great time with, make them laugh, have them comfortable with me...and then when I ask them out...they are like "Oh...um...I don't really think of you in THAT way".
It was like they were caught off guard with me asking them out. It was as if they didn't expect it.
Don't get me wrong, I had some women that actually DID show mutual interest. One of them...after we had been intimate and exclusive...she said, "You know, when you asked me out...I didn't know if it was as friends or it was a date. lol!"
Like I asked in the other thread, HOW do *you* determine her (level of) interest?
I know this question isn't aimed at me, but since I'm here, why not talk about how women - in general - tend to display their interest in a man.
At Arms Length,
Does she stare at you?
Does she check you out from the crown of your head down to your feet and then lets her eyes roam from your feet up to your face?
Does she smile at you? Does she repeately smile at you?
Does she play with her hair while looking at you?
Does she touch her neck when she looks at you?
Do you find yourself being looked at for no reason, by this woman in question, and when your eyes lock together, she smiles and does all I've just mentioned above?
Does she find a reason to be close to you, to be near you, despite having more than enough free space for her to be in comfort within a train, bus, nightclub, bar, music festival etc?
There are women who are more forward with their interest in you. They'll pretty much approach you, ask you out, propose you etc, but for the most part, women have a tendency to be more subtle with their interest in a man, although if they are really interested in you - those signals of interest will be loud and clear.
Quote:
If you’re asking me specifically...I don’t even know. Women being interested in me is so extremely rare in my life that it’s easier for me to describe behavior that I don’t see, that I have never seen directed at me but have seen directed at other guys. For me, all I have is a negative, really...polite and friendly isn’t a sign of interest. That’s a false positive I’ve fallen for nearly more times than I can count (somewhere around 30-35 times now, to be inexact).
I'm not trying to disregard your personal experiences, but very few, very few men go through their entire lives without getting little to no attention from women. The issue is: does the man in question feel attracted to the women who are attracted to him?
or does he want a girlfriend who is conventionally attractive?
Having lived in Rome, Paris, Madrid, Berlin, Rio De Janero, Los Angeles(Brentwood/Hollywood Hills) I can attest to the fact that young, physically attractive women aren't as selective in men as in regards to how a man oughta look, physically, before they find him to be physically attractive, as many young men seem to be believe women to be picky, and a man doesn't need to be a 25 year old Legends of The Fall Brad Pitt, or 25 year old Top Gun Tom Cruise to get an attractive girlfriend(without using money).
If you aren't happy with your body, go to the gym. I've noticed attractive women are more than happy with a guy with an averageish body. Since I've never been to the gym I don't have a physically attractive body(Hollywood A-list beauty standards) and instead my body build is exactly the same Leonardo Dicaprio was showing in the movie ''The Beach,'' and that's good enough.
If you are balding, if your hairline is receding? A hair transplant, or shave it all off. It seems to have worked well enough for Vin Diesel and Jason Statham, both of whom, I'm sure, were still considered to be hot by many, many women prior to becoming rich and famous.
Non-white, crooked teeth?
Teeth-whitening procedures, and get braces.
Then build yourself a wardrobe that is stylish and fancy, that fits your body build and helps you look good, and you're all set.
Quote:
Yeah, been there, done that...you'd be surprised how many women I have a great time with, make them laugh, have them comfortable with me...and then when I ask them out...they are like "Oh...um...I don't really think of you in THAT way".
They can find you to be attractive but won't go out with you because they're:
A) Already in a relationship.
B) have feelings for another guy.
C) their dog died and they aren't in the mood to date.
D) they just recently came out of a relationship and aren't looking for another relationship so soon.
There's plenty of reasons why a woman isn't interested in dating a man in particular. Sometimes those reasons are about him, sometimes they aren't.
The trick is to not care and to approach and ask out a few hundreds to a thousand women per month to maximize your chances to get a date. If you don't enjoy doing that, follow the guideline I depicted above, then expect women to make the first move and to be the ones to approach you.
Last edited by BrentwoodfamilyMart; 05-11-2021 at 04:15 AM..
I know this question isn't aimed at me, but since I'm here, why not talk about how women - in general - tend to display their interest in a man.
At Arms Length,
Does she stare at you?
Does she check you out from the crown of your head down to your feet and then lets her eyes roam from your feet up to your face?
Does she smile at you? Does she repeately smile at you?
Does she play with her hair while looking at you?
Does she touch her neck when she looks at you?
Do you find yourself being looked at for no reason, by this woman in question, and when your eyes lock together, she smiles and does all I've just mentioned above?
Does she find a reason to be close to you, to be near you, despite having more than enough free space for her to be in comfort within a train, bus, nightclub, bar, music festival etc?
There are women who are more forward with their interest in you. They'll pretty much approach you, ask you out, propose you etc, but for the most part, women have a tendency to be more subtle with their interest in a man, although if they are really interested in you - those signals of interest will be loud and clear.
I'm not trying to disregard your personal experiences, but very few, very few men go through their entire lives without getting little to no attention from women. The issue is: does the man in question feel attracted to the women who are attracted to him?
or does he want a girlfriend who is conventionally attractive?
Having lived in Rome, Paris, Madrid, Berlin, Rio De Janero, Los Angeles(Brentwood/Hollywood Hills) I can attest to the fact that young, physically attractive women aren't as selective in men as in regards to how a man oughta look, physically, before they find him to be physically attractive, as many young men seem to be believe women to be picky, and a man doesn't need to be a 25 year old Legends of The Fall Brad Pitt, or 25 year old Top Gun Tom Cruise to get an attractive girlfriend(without using money).
If you aren't happy with your body, go to the gym. I've noticed attractive women are more than happy with a guy with an averageish body. Since I've never been to the gym I don't have a physically attractive body(Hollywood A-list beauty standards) and instead my body build is exactly the same Leonardo Dicaprio was showing in the movie ''The Beach,'' and that's good enough.
If you are balding, if your hairline is receding? A hair transplant, or shave it all off. It seems to have worked well enough for Vin Diesel and Jason Statham, both of whom, I'm sure, were still considered to be hot by many, many women prior to becoming rich and famous.
Non-white, crooked teeth?
Teeth-whitening procedures, and get braces.
Then build yourself a wardrobe that is stylish and fancy, that fits your body build and helps you look good, and you're all set.
They can find you to be attractive but won't go out with you because they're:
A) Already in a relationship.
B) have feelings for another guy.
C) their dog died and they aren't in the mood to date.
D) they just recently came out of a relationship and aren't looking for another relationship so soon.
There's plenty of reasons why a woman isn't interested in dating a man in particular. Sometimes those reasons are about him, sometimes they aren't.
The trick is to not care and to approach and ask out a few hundreds to a thousand women per month to maximize your chances to get a date. If you don't enjoy doing that, follow the guideline I depicted above, then expect women to make the first move and to be the ones to approach you.
I would not recommend anyone asking out up to a thousand women a month. That is 30 a day. Only someone who is obsessed with dating women would be able to do that, I don't think that would be a healthy attitude to have long term.
Fully agree that people have to care less about approaching and rejection. Too many see rejection by a woman as the end of the world, it is not.
I would not recommend anyone asking out up to a thousand women a month. That is 30 a day. Only someone who is obsessed with dating women would be able to do that, I don't think that would be a healthy attitude to have long term.
Fully agree that people have to care less about approaching and rejection. Too many see rejection by a woman as the end of the world, it is not.
Depends.
Is the guy in his early 20s to his mid 20s?
Then approaching hundreds of women, a thousand of women a month is viable. The guy's life isn't yet filled with responsabilities and obligations, and he can afford the time and the effort it takes to be around and to approach that many women, per month.
And it's a lot of fun. Parties, beach parties, nightclubs, bars, concerts, music festivals, foreign exchange students, going about visiting each and every state in the union, visiting foreign nations in South America, Africa, Europe, and meeting the local women and being introduced to different cultures and habits.
Life should be enjoyed while one is still young to enjoy it to the fullest.
If he's in his 30s, then he has more pressing things to worry about, like making sure he's well on his way to a comfortable retirement, buying and paying off a house, having lasting life-savings etc etc, leaving little time for the guy to approach hundreds of women per month, and he'll need to tailor his approach to women based on how much free time and emotional energy and stamina he has to meet women, which granted isn't the same at 33 as it was when a guy was 23, for most men.
Last edited by BrentwoodfamilyMart; 05-11-2021 at 08:10 AM..
I know this question isn't aimed at me, but since I'm here, why not talk about how women - in general - tend to display their interest in a man.
At Arms Length,
Does she stare at you? No.
Does she check you out from the crown of your head down to your feet and then lets her eyes roam from your feet up to your face? No.
Does she smile at you? Does she repeately smile at you? No.
Does she play with her hair while looking at you? No.
Does she touch her neck when she looks at you? No.
Do you find yourself being looked at for no reason, by this woman in question, and when your eyes lock together, she smiles and does all I've just mentioned above? No.
Does she find a reason to be close to you, to be near you, despite having more than enough free space for her to be in comfort within a train, bus, nightclub, bar, music festival etc? No.
Bold red text is mine. I've never had any of those behaviors directed at me. Generally women are polite and friendly and no more with me. There have been only two exceptions that I can recall. One was a girl in high school who sat next to me at an event one evening, spent the whole night in close physical contact with me...idly rubbing my leg with her foot, touching my arm and shoulder to punctuate conversation, hanging off of my every word, that sort of thing. She turned me down when I asked her out, though. The second was a cashier I posted about years ago who...seemed to smile a lot at me, and not in a way that women (or people) usually smile at me.
I have seen many of the behaviors you describe directed at other guys, though. For instance, my brother-in-law and I were at a bar one time and girl slid up beside him and started chatting him up hard, doing many of the things you're mentioning here. (She completely ignored my existence, though.) So, I've at least seen it in action.
Bold red text is mine. I've never had any of those behaviors directed at me. Generally women are polite and friendly and no more with me. There have been only two exceptions that I can recall. One was a girl in high school who sat next to me at an event one evening, spent the whole night in close physical contact with me...idly rubbing my leg with her foot, touching my arm and shoulder to punctuate conversation, hanging off of my every word, that sort of thing. She turned me down when I asked her out, though. The second was a cashier I posted about years ago who...seemed to smile a lot at me, and not in a way that women (or people) usually smile at me.
I have seen many of the behaviors you describe directed at other guys, though. For instance, my brother-in-law and I were at a bar one time and girl slid up beside him and started chatting him up hard, doing many of the things you're mentioning here. (She completely ignored my existence, though.) So, I've at least seen it in action.
Could be that women have displayed those signals of interest but you never noticed because you were distracted thinking about school, work, bills to pay, friends, or maybe you wasn't attracted to those women so your subconscious ignored those signs, which would explain why you seemingly have never noticed a woman noticing you.
Very few men go through an entire life without having members of the opposite sex show interest in them, and let's be frank here there are even guys who were born without legs and without arms and they've still managed to get married,
Nick Vujiicic In 9 March 2002, he moved to California. In 2008 in texas, near Dallas he met Kanae Miyahara. They married on February 12, 2012. The couple has four children and reside in Southern California.
Hire a professional stylist to revamp your wardrobe, and hit the gym, hire a professional fitness trainer and tell him you want to buff up. Vin Diesel was never a handsome man, but he never lacked for women, even when he was poor and not-famous because that Chronicles Of Riddick goes down well with many, many, many attractive well.
A dating coach, not one of those ''pick-up artists'' type but a doctor who specializes in the field could also help you out.
Could be that women have displayed those signals of interest but you never noticed because you were distracted thinking about school, work, bills to pay, friends, or maybe you wasn't attracted to those women so your subconscious ignored those signs, which would explain why you seemingly have never noticed a woman noticing you.
Very few men go through an entire life without having members of the opposite sex show interest in them, and let's be frank here there are even guys who were born without legs and without arms and they've still managed to get married,
Nick Vujiicic In 9 March 2002, he moved to California. In 2008 in texas, near Dallas he met Kanae Miyahara. They married on February 12, 2012. The couple has four children and reside in Southern California.
Hire a professional stylist to revamp your wardrobe, and hit the gym, hire a professional fitness trainer and tell him you want to buff up. Vin Diesel was never a handsome man, but he never lacked for women, even when he was poor and not-famous because that Chronicles Of Riddick goes down well with many, many, many attractive well.
A dating coach, not one of those ''pick-up artists'' type but a doctor who specializes in the field could also help you out.
My experiences trying to date are highly atypical and I don’t want to derail yet another thread to focus on them. Suffice it to say, that even after spending thousands and thousands of dollars and upgrading just about every area of my life over the last few years, what I bring to the table is still just not enough. Women have better options than me, including straight-up singleness. So be it.
The question was, what indicators of interest should a guy watch for that would make a romantic invitation acceptable. My best answer, “More than friendly and polite.”
What do you mean by saying that what you bring to the table is just not enough?
What kind of woman are you going for? if your standards exceed your grasp, sure you're very likely to fail, but if your expectations in a woman aren't insurmountable to climb, you really shouldn't have that much of a workout to attract a woman.
What do you want?
Someone younger than you? Someone your own age? Someone older? Someone in your league looks-wise, someone better-looking than you? someone who isn't as attractive as you are?
I'm sure you've noticed that the majority of men are or have been in relationships, and they aren't perfect or rich, and they still manage to build an emotional connection with a woman.
Quote:
Originally Posted By Arms At Length The question was, what indicators of interest should a guy watch for that would make a romantic invitation acceptable. My best answer, “More than friendly and polite.”
The Ancient Romans had a popular saying.
The gods favor the bold. Women aren't going to be impressed by a man who sits around and waits for signals of interest, and there have been a number of times I've gotten to date women way out of my league because I wasn't intimidated by how hot they were, and I took the shot and approached them(without an open invitation to do so).
Besides, being rejected is no big deal. I've been rejected tens of thousands of times, by tens of thousands of women, as I go up to a woman I'm attracted to, chat for a minute or two, and if I feel that she's not interested in coming home with me for the night, or if I that it will take verbal effort for me to bring her home - I move on to the next woman that draws my eye.
Try it. As long as you are respectful, most women aren't going to mind being approached by you. Of course, I've done this to Californian women, South American women, Italian Women, South African women, German women, Spanish women, Swedish, Norwegian women etc, so there might be a culture clash going on here, if you are from a conservative culture instead.
The gods favor the bold. Women aren't going to be impressed by a man who sits around and waits for signals of interest, and there have been a number of times I've gotten to date women way out of my league because I wasn't intimidated by how hot they were, and I took the shot and approached them(without an open invitation to do so).
Besides, being rejected is no big deal. I've been rejected tens of thousands of times, by tens of thousands of women, as I go up to a woman I'm attracted to, chat for a minute or two, and if I feel that she's not interested in coming home with me for the night, or if I that it will take verbal effort for me to bring her home - I move on to the next woman that draws my eye.
Try it. As long as you are respectful, most women aren't going to mind being approached by you. Of course, I've done this to Californian women, South American women, Italian Women, South African women, German women, Spanish women, Swedish, Norwegian women etc, so there might be a culture clash going on here, if you are from a conservative culture instead.
“Women aren't going to be impressed by a man who sits around and waits for signals of interest,” and yet that’s what women have said several times already even in this very thread.
You describe yourself as owning several houses houses by your early 20’s, the face of a celebrity, and the physique of a professional soccer player. Yet you also describe yourself as average? You are either extremely unrealistic in your views of what an average guy is or you are an exceptional long-playing troll. The only reason I lean against the latter is because what you say seems to be genuinely couched to help, even if it originates from your own, strongly above-average experiences.
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