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Women will end up resenting a man who earns less money than her. Especially, if when they have children, she ends up working full time because she HAS to and her husband is relying on her income to survive. She wants to work no more than part time to be with her baby - hubby is unable to make that happen. Misery.
Its about two people that know each other well, sometimes you have one chasing a dream and the other chasing a dollar, if thats the case its ok in the minds of both. If its a dreamer and a doer its another story, i've admired people that didn't make much money but if you paint yourself to be one thing and in reality your a loser someone generally moves on.
Only some insecure dork would have a problem with this!!!!
WHY WHY WHY would a guy be insecure because his significant other makes more money??? STUPID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Women will end up resenting a man who earns less money than her. Especially, if when they have children, she ends up working full time because she HAS to and her husband is relying on her income to survive. She wants to work no more than part time to be with her baby - hubby is unable to make that happen. Misery.
wow!?!?!?!
bitter about something personal?
welcome to 2008 where women are actually allowed to work jobs that aren't just secretaries.... where it is possible for women to have higher paying jobs and where men don't mind either way.
I don't think the original poster mentioned that the guy would be a lazy ass and not have a job and just live off his wife's income.
It definitely can work if you marry the right guy. Find someone who is comfortable in his own skin and adores you. He'll treat you with respect and support your efforts. If you marry someone insecure who loves himself more than he loves you it won't work. Best wishes and happy dating. There are a lot of really good guys out there, but it takes a while to find them.
I am almost finished with my MD training. In the past when I have dated men who made less $$ than what I will eventually make-it was always them that had the issue with my future salary. I never think about it much and don't see what the issue is (especially since at present, I am broke as a joke)-but maybe I am being naive.
What are your thoughts and if you could share personal experience or examples of how people have made it work that would be great.
Men, if you can tell me what the issue is and if/how it can be resolved that would be great too. I am a very down to earth person and hardly talk about work outside of work and I don't belittle people just because they haven't chosen, or had the opportunity, to do what I do--or something that "society" would consider to be "equivalent". Maybe I still am naive in thinking that as long as 2 people love one another it shouldn't matter.
You're right, it shouldn't matter. It all depends how how self-confident and secure the guy is with himself.
Location: Visitation between Wal-Mart & Home Depot
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Quote:
Originally Posted by letitgo
I am almost finished with my MD training. In the past when I have dated men who made less $$ than what I will eventually make-it was always them that had the issue with my future salary. I never think about it much and don't see what the issue is (especially since at present, I am broke as a joke)-but maybe I am being naive.
What are your thoughts and if you could share personal experience or examples of how people have made it work that would be great.
Men, if you can tell me what the issue is and if/how it can be resolved that would be great too. I am a very down to earth person and hardly talk about work outside of work and I don't belittle people just because they haven't chosen, or had the opportunity, to do what I do--or something that "society" would consider to be "equivalent". Maybe I still am naive in thinking that as long as 2 people love one another it shouldn't matter.
There are a lot of men who simply have old-fashioned hang-ups about gender roles. For the most part a confident, comfortable-in-his-own-skin man (or a smart, lazy one) isn't going to have a problem in a relationship with a woman who is more educated and makes more money. However, don't make a point of reminding him that you are more educated and make more money unless you are looking for trouble.
I am almost finished with my MD training. In the past when I have dated men who made less $$ than what I will eventually make-it was always them that had the issue with my future salary. I never think about it much and don't see what the issue is (especially since at present, I am broke as a joke)-but maybe I am being naive.
What are your thoughts and if you could share personal experience or examples of how people have made it work that would be great.
Men, if you can tell me what the issue is and if/how it can be resolved that would be great too. I am a very down to earth person and hardly talk about work outside of work and I don't belittle people just because they haven't chosen, or had the opportunity, to do what I do--or something that "society" would consider to be "equivalent". Maybe I still am naive in thinking that as long as 2 people love one another it shouldn't matter.
I haven't read all the replies, so I apologize if this is redundant... but here's my take:
I'm 43 and still don't have my Bachelor's yet (although I'm only 4 classes away and currently enrolled - a little behind the power curve ). I've already had one career as most regs know on here (21 years in the Navy), my wife is a CNA (certified nursing assistant). Her ex-husband refused to let her get any higher in a career because he didn't want her in any way to be in a "higher" stature than he was.
Here's my take... if she wants to be an LVN or RN, then go to school and get it!! I will support her in any way possible. I have even told her that I will put my degree on hold while she gets her schooling and certification done. I only make between $50-80k/year so we can't afford for both of us to go with our bills from the previous marriages we are trying to pay off. But if I got my degree, in my current job, I wouldn't get any more for it because of it. If she got her license, she would. She's just not sure that's what she wants to do down the road.
My bottom line is this: pick a man because you have common "end" goals in mind. For me... I want to be retired somewhere rural, close enough to a lake to drop a fishing line when I want... financially secure enough to travel if I want... knowing I educated my kids as fully as possible (and, of course... able to maintain my standard of living to include NFL Sunday Ticket!!! ). Now... hopefully my wife shares these common goals (it's okay if she doesn't want the Sunday Ticket). To get there... we have to plan. If you want to be an MD... you do it. The man you want to be with will do one of two things: support it... or not. If not.. you know what to do. But set your long term goals... and don't drop them for anyone. Find someone who shares them with you.
If I had a woman who was going to make a lot more money than I was, it would be my job to support her in every way. The way I look at it is that you are helping "us" to achieve "our" goals of where "we" want to be down the road. Don't compromise that for anyone. Just make sure you don't get so wrapped up in the job that you miss the fun with him along the way.
I agree 100%. Part of the problem with kids these days is that they are being raised in daycare centers rather than by parents. A lot of parents these days are too busy worrying about their "careers" and keeping up with the Joneses than they are with raising their kids....they're content to trust their children's upbringing to low-wage daycare workers.
Personally, I'm content with my modest house, modest car, and my kids having mom home all day. I know who's raising my kids.
We may not drive a luxury SUV, have a McMansion on a cul-de-sac, or go on yearly trips to Disney, but we have a happy, healthy family with kids who are loved and get all the attention they need. That's worth more than careers and material things in my book.
I have to disagree 110%. First off....not all daycares are "bad." Why yes it would be nice to raise your own child but here in Florida anyways, for the most part you need two incomes. It has nothing to do with having luxury as your lifestyle. I understand that some people's wants are more than their needs. I actually think daycares help promote an easy transition to grade school. I have a friend who refuses to take her 1 yr old to daycare so her husband has to work two jobs to support her decision and they NEVER see each other. He has a college degree and makes good money. They don't have a totally luxury lifestyle but they never see each other because he works his A** off. I mean I don't think it's totally fair but hey it's not my life and he obviously doesn't mind.
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). I've already had one career as most regs know on here (21 years in the Navy), my wife is a CNA (certified nursing assistant). Her ex-husband refused to let her get any higher in a career because he didn't want her in any way to be in a "higher" stature than he was.
