He thinks Covid is not real...amongst other conspiracies. To continue or cease talking? (wife, long-term)

[Ruth4Truth]

OP, I'm not sure why you'd be interested in continuing with this guy at all. "Good chemistry"? That wouldn't last long if y ou had to put up with his chatter daily. Think about it; is that the way you want to spend the rest of your life? Aren't there other fish in the sea? Keep fishing, and throw this one back.

[Izzie1213]

As long as he understands he is a "temporary" boyfriend and you will drop him in a hot second the moment you find someone sane to replace him with. Actually stringing him along may make problem for you down the road if he gets too attached to you. He is already into crazy world, how will he react when you break up after he gets too attached?

[Ruth4Truth]

Originally Posted by Izzie1213

As long as he understands he is a "temporary" boyfriend and you will drop him in a hot second the moment you find someone sane to replace him with. Actually stringing him along may make problem for you down the road if he gets too attached to you. He is already into crazy world, how will he react when you break up after he gets too attached?

Very good point!

[kygman]

Originally Posted by Illyxo

I keep having images of introducing him to my family and my parents being like, congratulations, you have found yourself an idiot.

I have a strong feeling your parents would be right!

[Chowhound]

Sounds like you two are on different planes in terms of world views. I think having a bit of healthy skepticism is one thing. Saying that COVID isn't real is a whole other thing.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Illyxo

Talking to a 36yo old man who works as a karate instructor but has a degree.
The other night he begged me not to get the second dose of the pfizer vaccine (I am autoimmune and at risk of Covid) because it was harmful. I understand people who are vaccine hesitant...but he also said Covid does not exist - people are presenting with symptoms that they are calling 'Covid.' He also has other bizarre views - aliens, new world order, the government plotting against us (we live in Australia), capitalism (we should be free to do what we want instead of working), encouraging anarchist ways of living, etc. On facebook, he posts a lot of rants about these things and when he provides a source, it is a study done by ONE person or dodgy looking news site, etc. The people on his facebook seem to find him annoying - often telling him to 'find a real job' and stop being a keyboard warrior.

I respect differnces of opinion - but can a relationship with someone like this ever work? Especially when you think differently, and your peer group (friends, family) hold similar beliefs to you?

I keep having images of introducing him to my family and my parents being like, congratulations, you have found yourself an idiot.

At the same time, he is a nice guy and we have good chemistry.

What has been your experience dating people who hold conspirational beliefs?

Lol, you are dating my brother? Guess not. Too young.

What is concerning is that you are even asking this.

[Seija]

Originally Posted by Illyxo

I keep having images of introducing him to my family and my parents being like, congratulations, you have found yourself an idiot.

At the same time, he is a nice guy and we have good chemistry.

What has been your experience dating people who hold conspirational beliefs?

I think those images of what your parents would say to you are really your subconscious sending you a message.

[shelato]

Originally Posted by Illyxo

Talking to a 36yo old man who works as a karate instructor but has a degree.
The other night he begged me not to get the second dose of the pfizer vaccine (I am autoimmune and at risk of Covid) because it was harmful. I understand people who are vaccine hesitant...but he also said Covid does not exist - people are presenting with symptoms that they are calling 'Covid.' He also has other bizarre views - aliens, new world order, the government plotting against us (we live in Australia), capitalism (we should be free to do what we want instead of working), encouraging anarchist ways of living, etc. On facebook, he posts a lot of rants about these things and when he provides a source, it is a study done by ONE person or dodgy looking news site, etc. The people on his facebook seem to find him annoying - often telling him to 'find a real job' and stop being a keyboard warrior.

I respect differnces of opinion - but can a relationship with someone like this ever work? Especially when you think differently, and your peer group (friends, family) hold similar beliefs to you?

I keep having images of introducing him to my family and my parents being like, congratulations, you have found yourself an idiot.

At the same time, he is a nice guy and we have good chemistry.

What has been your experience dating people who hold conspirational beliefs?

I have family members dealing with paranoia. Paranoia is just exhausting. Its difficult to do stuff with someone who has paranoia. That means both of you will tend to self-isolate to spend time with this person. One of the big factors for predicting depression is self-isolation. If the situation gets more acute in the future, the paranoia can makes this guy treatment resistent if he thinks either the health care provider or you are in on the conspiracy.

The psych drugs to treat paranoia are usually pretty effective when you find one that works, but people with paranoia are often treatment resistent to trying out drugs especially if the first drug didn't work. Some of the side effects can be pronounced which is another reason patients don't want to take them or may prefer street drugs instead.


One of the reasons I believe in dating someone for a while and not getting to initimate too quickly is that paranoia is a symptom that can be masked for a bit and its not until you have spent more time with this person before you fully comprehend what you are getting into.

But you might want to read up on Schizotypal Personality Disorder and then check out some the discussion groups for people and their family members dealing with this condition to get a better sense of what you might be dealing with in the future.

https://outofthefog.website/personal...-disorder-stpd

[Mink57]

Originally Posted by ThisTown123

This is interesting....when just after the CDC saying "Okay, the vaccinated can stop wearing masks now!" I met with this woman for coffee.

Had an awesome chat...then she talked about how she's a conspiracy theorist. (Wow, she admits to this?) She's a holistic person, does massage. (LMT). I kind of blew it off, because we didn't talk much about Covid on our coffee date.

We planned our 2nd get together and that's when the CDC said, "Okay people, vaccinated or not, put that mask back on!" I mentioned this to her and she goes, "Oh we better cancel, because I'm not vaccinated...don't want to kills someone" and I said, "You can always wear a mask" and we got into this back and forth about masks not working, and that the hospitals aren't REALLY at capacity.

Kind had to end things there...sad...that we hit it off if we just didn't talka bout Covid. She said she actually avoids talkinga bout it as a subject, because that's ALL WE SEE these days.

I'm guessing that the FIRST time you met, neither of you were wearing a mask.

And if she didn't wear a mask the FIRST time you met, her logic of what's bolded makes no sense...

[mysticaltyger]

Originally Posted by Illyxo

Talking to a 36yo old man who works as a karate instructor but has a degree.
The other night he begged me not to get the second dose of the pfizer vaccine (I am autoimmune and at risk of Covid) because it was harmful. I understand people who are vaccine hesitant...but he also said Covid does not exist - people are presenting with symptoms that they are calling 'Covid.' He also has other bizarre views - aliens, new world order, the government plotting against us (we live in Australia), capitalism (we should be free to do what we want instead of working), encouraging anarchist ways of living, etc. On facebook, he posts a lot of rants about these things and when he provides a source, it is a study done by ONE person or dodgy looking news site, etc. The people on his facebook seem to find him annoying - often telling him to 'find a real job' and stop being a keyboard warrior.

I respect differnces of opinion - but can a relationship with someone like this ever work? Especially when you think differently, and your peer group (friends, family) hold similar beliefs to you?

I keep having images of introducing him to my family and my parents being like, congratulations, you have found yourself an idiot.

At the same time, he is a nice guy and we have good chemistry.

What has been your experience dating people who hold conspirational beliefs?

I actually agree with him on some of those things. The problem with conspiracy theories is a lot of them are true. But a lot of times disinfirmation is deliberately mixed into them to discredit the people who talk about them. People are kind of lazy and like to think in black-or-white, all-or-nothing terms (including the conspiracy theorists). And the powers that be know this. So drawing attention to the misleading and craziest conspiracy theories is their way of getting people to ignore all of them.

In any case, I do think Covid is real. But the supression of cheap and effective drugs to prevent/treat it from being used (such as ivermectin) and censoring people who talk about it is an example of a real conspiracy that is playing out right under our noses.

That said, it sounds like he is pretty far out there compared to your life philosophy. I personally don't think a lot of aspects of his life philosophy are workable (i.e. anarchism) in the same way that I don't think communism is workable. But I'm not going to convince any communists (or far left socialists) or anarchists of that. If you are too far apart on life philosophy, chemistry isn't going to carry you, and the relationship won't work.