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I met a girl through meetings I attend. For months I interacted with her and we got closer. I was warned not to date women in this arena, because you'd just be taking on two sets of problems, instead of your one set. I pretty much planned on sticking to this, except if, like maybe, SHE asked me(lol). But she was seemingly wayyyy ahead of me and that wasn't going to happen. And of course suddenly her interest in me took a quantum leap.
The first week was fabulous! She blew me up. Then suddenly she backed off a lot. She broke a bunch of dates, would say she'd call and not, act annoyed when I did. But about every third or fourth day she'd make plans to see me and spend the night. Very little conversation. I felt I had become her booty call. I hang out with a bunch of girls and they thought it was some weird kinda role reversal."guys do this, not girls" We saw each other daily, now we see each other 1-2 times a week. I felt far closer to her before we started dating! I try to break up with her, but she makes huge ammends and says she's just busy, but will try harder please give her another chance. She has no real job, or anything going on, and if you're in the infancy of a relationship shouldn't you want to spend a lot of available time together? I've answered a lot of my own questions here.. just thought I'd read the "you spineless dumbass responces" lol
Well, you learned your lesson I hope. It's not your fault. I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and say you are vunerable right now, forcing you to make the wrong choice. Your human, and you made a poor choice; you most likely felt a connection since you share the common bond of these meetings. Perhaps you feel alone, and she was there with you. However, her interest in you has faded and Id move on. You need to focus on your issues right now and clearly she has her own. I wouldn't find the need to break up with her- she's already done, keep in touch as a friend but right her off as your "booty call" or anything else. Keep your head up, don't be so hard on yourself. The important thing is that you move on and let her go, it's no time for drama..
Yeah, a lot of my friends say "I want your problem, where a beautiful girl doesn't want anything more than sex!" it's just that she won't admit that's it, but her actions don't match her words.
I met a girl through meetings I attend. For months I interacted with her and we got closer. I was warned not to date women in this arena, because you'd just be taking on two sets of problems, instead of your one set. I pretty much planned on sticking to this, except if, like maybe, SHE asked me(lol). But she was seemingly wayyyy ahead of me and that wasn't going to happen. And of course suddenly her interest in me took a quantum leap.
The first week was fabulous! She blew me up. Then suddenly she backed off a lot. She broke a bunch of dates, would say she'd call and not, act annoyed when I did. But about every third or fourth day she'd make plans to see me and spend the night. Very little conversation. I felt I had become her booty call. I hang out with a bunch of girls and they thought it was some weird kinda role reversal."guys do this, not girls" We saw each other daily, now we see each other 1-2 times a week. I felt far closer to her before we started dating! I try to break up with her, but she makes huge ammends and says she's just busy, but will try harder please give her another chance. She has no real job, or anything going on, and if you're in the infancy of a relationship shouldn't you want to spend a lot of available time together? I've answered a lot of my own questions here.. just thought I'd read the "you spineless dumbass responces" lol
I just think you need some self-respect. Trust me. No woman on the planet, even Kirsten Dunst, is worth that. Start turning her down. Don't return her calls. Chances are, you'll feel better about yourself, and she'll probably not take you for granted.
to me, sex is important in a relationship. but that shouldn't be what the relationship is about. you need happiness and things in common and be able to be comfortable w/ each other and talk and understand each other regularly.
"I just think you need some self-respect. Trust me. No woman on the planet, even Kirsten Dunst, is worth that. Start turning her down. Don't return her calls. Chances are, you'll feel better about yourself, and she'll probably not take you for granted."
I guess what's really bothering me is there's no need for her to put up such an act. She's very attractive and very pleasing when we're together. It's just that she says she want's a singular boyfriend-girlfriend relationship w me. But hardly spends anytime talking or hanging out with me other than the night of the BC. When confronted she denies, denies, denies. I get peeod, break up. She begs me to get back with her and it starts over again. It would be fine as a simple hook up relationship, I just can't get her to admit it..it's like she's in denial about her own wants. I guess I just have to accept that that's the way she is and not count on getting the reality of the situation out of her. Ohhh and yeah I fell in love with the her from the first week or so and it's tough to realizer she's pretending and not very well, either.
I met a girl through meetings I attend. For months I interacted with her and we got closer. I was warned not to date women in this arena, because you'd just be taking on two sets of problems, instead of your one set. I pretty much planned on sticking to this, except if, like maybe, SHE asked me(lol). But she was seemingly wayyyy ahead of me and that wasn't going to happen. And of course suddenly her interest in me took a quantum leap.
Do you mind telling us what those meetings are about? AA? NA? And everyone here is right, just stop dating her and tell her that you only want to see her at the meetings and nothing more. And those groups are right, first if you are in recovery mode, you aren't suppose to start any relationships for the first year you are getting your life together. Secondly, it's really unwise to get into a relationship with another group member.
Just focus on getting your life together. Once that's all set, find yourself someone nice to date, someone without any issues to bring you down. And get to know her longer before hopping into the sack with her. Play the field and meet a bunch of women before picking out one to have a relationship with.
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