Has living digitally lowered our attention span when it comes to LTRs? (dates, guy)

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo

I do not buy what it seems you are arguing which comes across as saying the digital age really doesn’t impact human interaction when it comes to romantic relationships.

Tho I’m not saying it doesn’t impact unhealthy or unhappy ppl…just like sugary foods, alcohol, drugs can ofc. BUT…I do think projection is super common when it comes to stuff like this. Ppl who are guilty of cheating or who look at a lot of porn or ppl who are insecure are the 1st ppl to say “everybody does it” or “how are we supposed to feel feel good about ourselves because of the internet”. They blame their behavior or insecurity on a computer or porn instead of looking inward.

Blaming internet porn for affecting LTRs^^ is like blaming guns for murders or cars for auto accidents IMO.

[GoAmericaGo]

Originally Posted by bobspez

How does the average guy act out porn with an unlimited number of partners? Does he pay for a porn zoom session? I don't think wacking off to a Playboy feels any different than doing it to a computer. There's always been hookers and available women. When I lived in a rural area, guys had an unlimited supply of sheep if they were so inclined. I don't see how technology makes it any different.

I didn’t say the average guy gets to act it out with an unlimited number of partners. The average guy does get to pursue acting out it out with a seemingly unlimited number of potential partners…thus perhaps increasing his odds vs times when there was no anonymity and he’d have to propose certain activities face to face.

I think the chances of being caught/embarrassed or catching a disease limits the numbers of men willing to regularly pursue hookers — a quick Google search cites a study saying 1% of men visited a prostitute in the last year.

[GoAmericaGo]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

Tho I’m not saying it doesn’t impact unhealthy or unhappy ppl…just like sugary foods, alcohol, drugs can ofc. BUT…I do think projection is super common when it comes to stuff like this. Ppl who are guilty of cheating or who look at a lot of porn or ppl who are insecure are the 1st ppl to say “everybody does it” or “how are we supposed to feel feel good about ourselves because of the internet”. They blame their behavior or insecurity on a computer or porn instead of looking inward.

Blaming internet porn for affecting LTRs^^ is like blaming guns for murders or cars for auto accidents IMO.

So you’re arguing the rise of easy access pornography and the overall digital age we live in has no impact on the relationships of healthy and happy people?

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo

So you’re arguing the rise of easy access pornography and the overall digital age we live in has no impact on the relationships of healthy and happy people?

I don’t see it as an argument…just a discussion, but I’m coming from a place of being in a committed & loving marriage where we have a lot of sex with each other. We don’t need or want porn..we have each other.

It may be “easy access” as you call it but ppl still have to seek it out & pay for it. They still decide…they flip that switch. It’s like you aren’t wanting to say it’s the person’s fault for deciding to cheat….but like this “hey I’m not responsible” kind of thing or “internet porn made me do it”. IMO it doesn’t work that way for healthy ppl who have healthy relationships & active sex lives with each other.

[GoAmericaGo]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

I don’t see it as an argument…just a discussion, but I’m coming from a place of being in a committed & loving marriage where we have a lot of sex with each other. We don’t need or want porn..we have each other.

It may be “easy access” as you call it but ppl still have to seek it out & pay for it. They still decide…they flip that switch. It’s like you aren’t wanting to say it’s the person’s fault for deciding to cheat….but like this “hey I’m not responsible” kind of thing or “internet porn made me do it”. IMO it doesn’t work that way for healthy ppl who have healthy relationships & active sex lives with each other.

You’re basing your entire discussion on one relationship which has lasted how long within the digital age? And I’m not saying people have some spontaneous revelation where internet porn makes them do anything. Things that can happen within a relationship can often move slowly over the course of years.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo

You’re basing your entire discussion on one relationship which has lasted how long within the digital age?

No…I’m basing my opinion from the angle of mental health as a RN.BSN. Ppl who are healthy & happy in committed relationships don’t look to internet porn for sex in the same way healthy ppl don’t look to alcohol to escape their feelings or loneliness.

[GoAmericaGo]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

No…I’m basing my opinion from the angle of mental health as a RN.BSN. Ppl who are healthy & happy in committed relationships don’t look to internet porn for sex in the same way healthy ppl don’t look to alcohol to escape their feelings or loneliness.

I also have an educational background in mental health. People that are happy/healthy do all sorts of things and a lot of unhappy people in unhealthy relationships started out happy/healthy.

Regardless, this is a more macro discussion in regards to the broader impact of societies increasingly dependent relationship with the digital world. I would argue there is definitely an impact on relationships along with attention span and mental health in general.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo

People that are happy/healthy do all sorts of things and a lot of unhappy people in unhealthy relationships started out happy/healthy.

Yes…some happy relationships go sour or turn unhappy ofc. BUT ppl who are mentally healthy deal with it without having to escape into porn or the internet or any other other escape.…like alcohol, drugs or food.

AND: A relationship therapist would never say the answer to no distractions in a LTR^^ is to not have access to the internet….because that’s impossible AND the internet or what’s available on it isn’t the problem.

edit: So…we totally disagree, but that’s Ok. We see healthy ppl & healthy relationships differently.

[GoAmericaGo]

Originally Posted by TashaPosh

Yes…some happy relationships go sour or turn unhappy ofc. BUT ppl who are mentally healthy deal with it without having to escape into porn or the internet or any other other escape.…like alcohol, drugs or food.

AND: A relationship therapist would never say the answer to no distractions in a LTR^^ is to not have access to the internet….because that’s impossible AND the internet or what’s available on it isn’t the problem.

edit: So…we totally disagree, but that’s Ok.

I never argued how much access to internet people should have. Like I said, relationships come in all flavors of happiness and unhappiness. I’m simply stating that relationships played out in the modern era are likely impacted to some degree on a macro level by people’s increasingly strong bond with digital existence. We already have mounting evidence that things like social media may be linked to depression. I’m simply interested in discussing how relationships are impacted while occurring concurrently with increased living in the digital world of the last 15-20 years. It’s a topic worthy of investigation, IMO.

[TashaPosh]

Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo

I’m simply interested in discussing how relationships are impacted while occurring concurrently with increased living in the digital world of the last 15-20 years. It’s a topic worthy of investigation, IMO.

Ok..have fun with your thread.^^ IMO tho…ppl make or break relationships, not things…like the internet. It’s like blaming guns for murder. Somebody is choosing to pull the trigger….or to access porn or be distracted in their LTR, like your O.P. talks about.