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I have a male friend at work who would get to work before I did, and I had to walk past his desk to get to mine. I would stop and chat with him nearly every morning. We became friends because we can poke fun at each other and chuckle about it, when these days . . . well, it’s different for the most part.
We communicated via company email. We knew each other for a couple of years. Another co-worker assumed I had his personal phone number and was surprised that I didn’t.
The tasks I do actually are a function of a different dept, so I was moved. He had recently invited me to lunch, and I suggested he ask the others in our cubicles. I didn’t want any rumors to start about having lunch with him, because he is married - and it has never been more than friendship between us (and that’s the impression I get from him as well). As it turned out, 4 of us got together, paid our own ways, and had a good time.
When I moved to the other dept (a different building), he had emailed me (as did other people) and asked how I was doing. I think it’s what people do, because it can be a good move or a bad move, and folks want to be supportive. That doesn’t mean they want to have a date/sex/affair.
IMHO, the co-worker in the original post kept the messages within the company email, because she was only friends with the OP, and that was her way of keeping it friendly. She was being cordial, because why be a witch to someone at work unnecessarily?
Edited to add: I do agree with others that the co-worker could have handled her response/lack of response differently. It’s immature to just drop off the face of the earth.
And, yes, there isn’t anything creepy about asking someone from work out (at least, not for my generation). I don’t know what “normal” is these days.
And I didnt give any hints I wanted to take her out just suggested talking offline because I didnt want to ask her has she lived in my city all her life over work email.
"Hey I am just seeing your email I guess my day was that busy yesterday. You know I think we should just exchange numbers to prevent all these communication delays between us. So here is my number "
That email was a response to her email asking.........."hey how is it going with a smiley face.
So there was nothing nasty or inappropriate in the email I sent her and if she didnt want to chat offline she could have always pretend I didnt send my number and keep talking to me through work email. But to disappear completely was just weird
She emailed because she is a professional that knows how networking works. You keep the line open with former colleagues. Unless they reveal ulterior motives for their interest in you.
I am also wondering what you put in the email. Your posts here tend to be poorly composed, using the wrong words in the wrong places. Did you proof it? Maybe she had no idea what you were saying to her.
Just saying I see I missed her email she sent a few days ago and that it would be better if we exchange numbers to prevent delays in our communication. Nothing about lets do coffee after work
Replace the "her/she" with "him/he." Would the events be so unusual if this was a male co-worker? Probably not. Time to stop thinking she "liked" you as more than a work friend.
That's a silly question because men don't communicate with each other like that. And I talk to men face to face not on the phone, text, or email.
She CLEARLY didn't want to give you any personal contact info when you both moved to a different location, and she CLEARLY stopped communicating with you after you suggested private communication by giving her your number.
Her email to you was about your new workplace and how are you adjusting. There was nothing to read into it. She OBVIOUSLY doesn't desire to know you privately.
Are you still confused??
I was actually going to ask for her number on that last day but other coworkers came around us and I was so annoyed.
Nothing the OP posted indicates she was emailing him "constantly for weeks and months." He mentions casual conversations at his desk and exactly 1 email from her checking in.
^^^ This.
And they never had a romantic relationship. Just because he is infatuated doesn't mean she ever felt the same.
With all due respect elnina, why would she email with him constantly for weeks and months and stop by his desk for 10-15 mins. every day if she wasn't interested in his friendship? IMO the ghosting was unacceptable and immature. It's understandable that she wasn't interested romantically but it was rude and immature to ghost him.
That's what I am saying, we could have atleast been friends lol Then I said to myself...."wow I probably made my intentions clear without realizing it and she knew instantly he wants to date me" So she knows that I am not a platonic friendship type based off the vibe I gave off and knew not to bother with platonic.
Now I need to start giving off this vibe when I talk to women on tinder
Nothing the OP posted indicates she was emailing him "constantly for weeks and months." He mentions casual conversations at his desk and exactly 1 email from her checking in.
No we never emailed when we worked at the same location just talked face to face. Once we were scheduled to leave i mentioned keeping in touch with each other. So three weeks after my first day I get this email from her saying "hey how are you adjusting? We emailed each other all day long and it wasnt until about a week later when I suggested talking offline. I figured since we were no longer at the same location it would be ok to get to know her outside the job
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