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A lot of parents think that kids can't pick up on what is going on at home, but they are far wiser and able to pick up on things than a lot of parents give them credit for. Many children just tend to internalize their feelings, trying to make it go away by pretending they don't exist and this leads to so many other problems in their lives later on.
Exactly! I know this very well. They understand and even remember sentences that the parents are talking. I have seen some children describing thier parents when they were naked, and some even know about sex and can describe as they have seen it. I am definitely not KIDDING. Children are extremely intelligent and have great memories. From about 2.5 to 10 years they will make observations about parents, and keep it in their memories for life. So it is very important to be extremely careful here.
My intentions are noble.
As a teacher I find lives of children sooooo pathetic that I don't know what else to stay.
...their home life affects their school life too. This post is on behalf of all those children. If you can really feel what I do, the sadness and desperation of not being to help those little ones, then you may understand the intention behind these questions of mine.
Once I find time, I want to work in child instituitions and volunteer my time there to help make lives better.
OK. I have held my tongue as long as I can.
Those intentions are not "noble", they are reflections of neuroses and are most likely the product of some personal trauma.
A teacher should be a professional, and it is not a professional attitude to see the lives of students as "sooooo pathetic". A teacher's job is to teach the curriculum as determined by the school district and defined by the site administrator.
Unless there is obvious evidence that the child's life is in physical danger, teachers have no business using their moral or ethical values to make judgements about the child's family or home life.
A person who holds such judgemental attitudes has no place in public education nor public social welfare and would only be acceptable within a private closed society such as a religious or cult school.
Last edited by Fat Freddy; 05-19-2008 at 10:28 AM..
Those intentions are not "noble", they are reflections of neuroses and are most likely the product of some personal trauma.
A teacher should be a professional, and it is not a professional attitude to see the lives of students as "sooooo pathetic". A teacher's job is to teach the curriculum as determined by the school district and defined by the site administrator.
Unless there is obvious evidence that the child's life is in physical danger, teachers have no business using their moral or ethical values to make judgements about the child's family or home life.
A person who holds such judgemental attitudes has no place in public education nor public social welfare and would only be acceptable within a private closed society such as a religious or cult school.
I disagree with you somewhat. It takes a teacher that doesn't see her job as simply a clocking in/clocking out and in between be a robot and teach the curriculum, to see past a child's failing grade and understand that there is something going on behind the scene that is affecting that child's performance. Sometimes its a poor home environment or family life, sometimes its drugs or other issues, in either case, it is important that teachers care about their students. Students who are much more than a mind and body int he classroom to teach. They have lives outside of the classroom and sometimes that life affects what goes on in the classroom.
My opinion is that there are not enough teachers that actually care about the students. Fortunately I have had some very good teachers for my kids, some who have taken time to discuss with me certain things like "is something going on at home or in your son/daughter's life that can be causing the problem or concern in the classroom". I am grateful for teachers like that who actually cared about my child. Not because they were judging them or our home life but because they were trying to see how they could best help my kids. If the teacher doesn't take the time to care and find out what is could possibly be causing the problem, then the teacher may not be able to know what is the best approach to help the child.
I am most definitely NOT making excuses for those who cheat, but I believe cheating is in some people's blood. I've known people who have been in very happy relationships/marriages and have cheated just for the sake of cheating with no reason for doing it. I guess you just have to hope you don't meet or are already with one of those.
If cheating is in their blood than they need to stay out of relationships with people who are faithful! why get married if you already know you are a cheater?
I never have, never even thought about ever cheating on anyone. I've seen people whose parents did it to their other parent and they are torn apart still years later over what their parents did.
If you can't control yourself do yourself and any faithful person a favor and be in "open" relationships where both of you run around like crazy people. Don't put another person through hell because mommy and daddy never took the time to make you responsible for your own actions.
It takes a teacher that doesn't see her job as simply a clocking in/clocking out and in between be a robot and teach the curriculum, to see past a child's failing grade and understand that there is something going on behind the scene that is affecting that child's performance. Sometimes its a poor home environment or family life, sometimes its drugs or other issues, in either case, it is important that teachers care about their students. Students who are much more than a mind and body int he classroom to teach. They have lives outside of the classroom and sometimes that life affects what goes on in the classroom.
Fortunately I have had some very good teachers for my kids, some who have taken time to discuss with me certain things like "is something going on at home or in your son/daughter's life that can be causing the problem or concern in the classroom". I am grateful for teachers like that who actually cared about my child.
I agree, and good school districts have a "Home Visit" program where the teachers actually visit the parents and students in the home, however recent budget restraints have eliminated that in many states.
As far as asking the parents or guardian about any home factors that may effect the student's classroom performance, this is standard procedure and the initial step the teacher takes as part of the evaluation procedure which not only helps with classroom presentation individually tailored for that particular student, but which may lay the groundwork for identifying specific problems and getting the student into special psychological or educational programs.
But, this has nothing to do with making moral or ethical judgements related to parental infidelity.
I agree, and good school districts have a "Home Visit" program where the teachers actually visit the parents and students in the home, however recent budget restraints have eliminated that in many states.
As far as asking the parents or guardian about any home factors that may effect the student's classroom performance, this is standard procedure and the initial step the teacher takes as part of the evaluation procedure which not only helps with classroom presentation individually tailored for that particular student, but which may lay the groundwork for identifying specific problems and getting the student into special psychological or educational programs.
But, this has nothing to do with making moral or ethical judgements related to parental infidelity.
I agree and disagree with you. I'm not sure that the OP is necessarily making a moral or ethical judgment however. I could be wrong, but I think the OP stating that "it's pathetic" was not necessarily regarding infidelity alone, but in general to some of the lives these kids have outside of school.
I am just a mom, not a teacher, but I can tell you that I have seen some situations where I feel it's pretty pathetic myself, not that I am applying any moral or ethical judgements, just simply a matter of opinion. Things for example where you have parent's so consumed with their own personal lives that they cannot and will not be bothered by what their kids need. And I'm not talking merely careers here. I've even seen where a parent's infidelity came before her children's needs. Where they were more concerned with spending time with the person they were cheating with than with their own child that may require or simply need and want time with them.
I'm sorry but moral or ethical judgement aside, while I may have those as well at a different level, but just out of practicality being a parent myself, it is pretty sad and can be in some people's opinion pathetic. So when such things affects a child and their performance in school, should a teacher be less affected or have less of an opinion about it that I may have, or that any othe person may have?
I love these posters who say on here, "Well, cheaters are obviously just awful people and should stay away from me." Well, as I've said in previous posts:
Anybody is capable of cheating. If you think you're immune, then you're probably actually the most vulnerable because you're thinking it can't happen to you. In fact, I would argue that you're probably a sitting duck, because you allow yourself into situations that wiser men and women avoid, all because of your conceit that you're not going to stray.
All it takes is the right situation, the right person, the right frame of mind and, sometimes, the right amount of alcohol. One says to oneself, "Oh, one kiss won't hurt," then suddenly one is making the beast with two backs with someone besides one's spouse.
I've never cheated. But there have been a couple of situations where I caught myself and said, "Okay, time to get out of here." And I've known a lot of people who have, who never imagined themselves in that situation.
I love these posters who say on here, "Well, cheaters are obviously just awful people and should stay away from me." Well, as I've said in previous posts:
Anybody is capable of cheating. If you think you're immune, then you're probably actually the most vulnerable because you're thinking it can't happen to you. In fact, I would argue that you're probably a sitting duck, because you allow yourself into situations that wiser men and women avoid, all because of your conceit that you're not going to stray.
All it takes is the right situation, the right person, the right frame of mind and, sometimes, the right amount of alcohol. One says to oneself, "Oh, one kiss won't hurt," then suddenly one is making the beast with two backs with someone besides one's spouse.
I've never cheated. But there have been a couple of situations where I caught myself and said, "Okay, time to get out of here." And I've known a lot of people who have, who never imagined themselves in that situation.
I’m definitely not saying that I’m immune, although I have never cheated. I am also not saying that people who cheat are horrible people, because I know people who did who are not horrible in the least, but here is what I do feel.
If you care enough about the person you are married to/in a committed relationship with, you will not put yourself in any situation in which you would be able to cheat. Whether it is not going on that business trip or whatnot or ceasing to be in contact with anyone who has anything other than friendly intentions.
The person I find to be one of the wisest people I have ever met once told me, if you don’t put yourself where it CAN happen, then it WILL NOT happen. There are no guarantees otherwise.
I do think that people who do cheat don’t stop to think about the consequences before they take the leap. How can one honestly say that they love someone and then go jump into bed with someone else?
Also, my husband and I make it a point to never drink when we are not together. That way there are no drunken rendezvous.
I say, if you can't control yourself you don't need to be in a relationship at all. If you can't make the committment to be with one person, don't try to fool someone by getting married.
[SIZE=3]I’m definitely not saying that I’m immune, although I have never cheated. I am also not saying that people who cheat are horrible people, because I know people who did who are not horrible in the least, but here is what I do feel.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]If you care enough about the person you are married to/in a committed relationship with, you will not put yourself in any situation in which you would be able to cheat. Whether it is not going on that business trip or whatnot or ceasing to be in contact with anyone who has anything other than friendly intentions. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]The person I find to be one of the wisest people I have ever met once told me, if you don’t put yourself where it CAN happen, then it WILL NOT happen. There are no guarantees otherwise. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]I do think that people who do cheat don’t stop to think about the consequences before they take the leap. How can one honestly say that they love someone and then go jump into bed with someone else?[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Also, my husband and I make it a point to never drink when we are not together. That way there are no drunken rendezvous [/SIZE]
Why all the incomprehensible codes in your response. Why do you think I was talking about you? Why do you protest so much? I bet there's a skeleton in your closet.
Is that you? Why are doing this? Would you like to stop it? Are you someone who burnt your fingers, hand, and just about everything? Share your story to help these 'lost' people to stop this 'disease.'
What do I think if you are cheating while in a perfectly good marriage: Shame on your face. Stop it right now, and set up your life. Strong words, but that is what I think of you.
I am sick of a friend who did this, ended in divorce, and regrets everyday of her life, and her children are the ones still paying the price. Those that are in this find it difficult to end it, so let us see if there are ways to help you.
Go on and rant here. People can understand, and value your marriage. So let us help you. Get out of that rut right now.
I hate to say this.. if your marriage was great .. I dont think infidelity would be an issue. If you are able to keep your SO occupied.. wandering minds dont turn into wandering bodies if you get what I mean. Usually the cheating starts when the other person gets disinterested in what is going on in their little neck of the woods... so a great marriage, in my eyes, would not be at the infidelity stage.. a weak marriage on the other hand.. well... we can speak to that for days...
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