What the Hell, ex's engagement ring (wife, boyfriends, man, love)
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I still have my first wedding ring. I was going to have it stuck into a pendant but never got around to it in all these years. It never bothered my (now deceased) husband.
I kept my wedding and engagement rings for years after my divorce, well into another serious relationship. They were mine and they represented a chapter in my life that, while closed, was still part of my experience on this earth. No one has the right to demand that a partner get rid of property from earlier in their lives. That is domineering, abusive, and controlling.
Well this wasn't a wedding ring, this wasn't an ex husband's ring, this was an ex boyfriend that had dumped her for another woman,that she continued on corresponding with after the marriage, with repeated discussions on cleaning up the inappropriate contents of their communications.
do you care to elaborate? What do you mean with inappropriate? Were they sexting? Sending nude pics? Flirting? Or just talking like friends?
None of this sounds healthy at all to me, but maybe she's just enough of a messy person she can't really do much better than a jealous and controlling dude who needs to monitor her communications. Healthy of course to me would also mean that she'd VOLUNTARILY feel like moving on and letting go of the past because, I dunno, she actually enjoys the present?
Hard to enjoy being with someone who lectures you and lays down all kinds of consequences and acts like a father of a naughty teenager, though. Both sides of this bring problem behavior. What else will it be, but a mess? Not for the first time, I'm torn between feeling it would have been better if you'd never gotten together in the first place...and "but maybe they deserve each other?"
Well I agree with keeping those things locked away for no one else to ever find. I'm glad you are so open about your SO keeping their sex library open for public view and having outside affairs while involved with you, it wasn't what I signed on for
Then move on. This relationship isn't what you want? Let it go.
The ring is no problem. If she's saving old amateur porn she made with exes though...I wouldn't be cool with that at all. Most people wouldn't be, especially if that porn was with one of the exes she's still talking with. If you have no kids together I'd say split. If you do have kids together, well then you have my condolences, and you have a very difficult decision to make.
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