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Old 01-01-2022, 02:02 PM
 
7 posts, read 5,919 times
Reputation: 16

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Perhaps, unfortunately dishonesty leads to a lack of trust
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Old 01-01-2022, 02:05 PM
 
2,867 posts, read 1,542,115 times
Reputation: 8652
Quote:
Originally Posted by E-Twist View Post
I still have my first wedding ring. I was going to have it stuck into a pendant but never got around to it in all these years. It never bothered my (now deceased) husband.
I kept my wedding and engagement rings for years after my divorce, well into another serious relationship. They were mine and they represented a chapter in my life that, while closed, was still part of my experience on this earth. No one has the right to demand that a partner get rid of property from earlier in their lives. That is domineering, abusive, and controlling.
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Old 01-01-2022, 02:29 PM
 
Location: North Idaho
32,659 posts, read 48,067,543 times
Reputation: 78476
As for the ring. You don't throw away diamonds, no matter how you got them.
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Old 01-01-2022, 03:22 PM
 
29,521 posts, read 22,668,047 times
Reputation: 48244
Definitely professional couples counseling.

This kind of mess isn't for amateur internet psychologists to figure out.
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Old 01-01-2022, 03:27 PM
 
1,085 posts, read 693,490 times
Reputation: 1864
Why are you still staying in this “relationship”? What is the point. From day one it’s been obvious she’s keeping a backup floating. Just move on.
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Old 01-03-2022, 01:00 PM
 
Location: SoCal again
20,764 posts, read 19,981,005 times
Reputation: 43165
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper.cromwell72 View Post
Well this wasn't a wedding ring, this wasn't an ex husband's ring, this was an ex boyfriend that had dumped her for another woman,that she continued on corresponding with after the marriage, with repeated discussions on cleaning up the inappropriate contents of their communications.
do you care to elaborate? What do you mean with inappropriate? Were they sexting? Sending nude pics? Flirting? Or just talking like friends?
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Old 01-03-2022, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Phoenix, AZ
20,398 posts, read 14,673,179 times
Reputation: 39507
Ya'll have a grandkid?

Like...how long have you been married?

None of this sounds healthy at all to me, but maybe she's just enough of a messy person she can't really do much better than a jealous and controlling dude who needs to monitor her communications. Healthy of course to me would also mean that she'd VOLUNTARILY feel like moving on and letting go of the past because, I dunno, she actually enjoys the present?

Hard to enjoy being with someone who lectures you and lays down all kinds of consequences and acts like a father of a naughty teenager, though. Both sides of this bring problem behavior. What else will it be, but a mess? Not for the first time, I'm torn between feeling it would have been better if you'd never gotten together in the first place...and "but maybe they deserve each other?"
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Old 01-04-2022, 04:23 PM
 
6,460 posts, read 3,983,103 times
Reputation: 17216
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jasper.cromwell72 View Post
Well I agree with keeping those things locked away for no one else to ever find. I'm glad you are so open about your SO keeping their sex library open for public view and having outside affairs while involved with you, it wasn't what I signed on for
Then move on. This relationship isn't what you want? Let it go.
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Old 01-05-2022, 12:16 AM
 
28 posts, read 12,734 times
Reputation: 32
She has the right to keep her thing. Communication with ex is bad. I don't know what to advise. Are you happy with her?
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Old 01-05-2022, 05:43 AM
 
Location: South of Heaven
7,928 posts, read 3,475,901 times
Reputation: 11617
The ring is no problem. If she's saving old amateur porn she made with exes though...I wouldn't be cool with that at all. Most people wouldn't be, especially if that porn was with one of the exes she's still talking with. If you have no kids together I'd say split. If you do have kids together, well then you have my condolences, and you have a very difficult decision to make.
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