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...but the OP would no doubt expect that "level of fitness" to be MAINTAINED during the marriage and after kids, right? Can't get lazy once you've got your man!
Also, I can imagine that after your child goes to sleep you've got a half dozen things to do, besides work out for an hour...but yeah.....
I think the point of finding the quality of being healthy attractive has something to do with the hope a person desires for it to be somewhat of a lifelong commitment. It’s sorta like finding being financially secure attractive — you would hope that a person a few years into the marriage doesn’t become a spendthrift that bombards the marriage with debt.
That’s exactly what I’ve tried to say. A person that makes an effort to be physically healthier may expect the same in a partner…one who strives to be more financially secure may seek the same in a partner…mentally healthy…so on and so forth.
So why are you using the word "Better"?
OP, it's heartwarming to see you sort of start to grasp that the world and people in it are full of nuance and contradictions, and that what makes some happy may not apply at ALL to others. Everyone's partner pool is their own partner pool. There are no rules.
Has anyone told you before that you are waaaaaaayyyy too judgy? You're in need of a little more experience and exposure to real life...if you had it you wouldn't constantly be saying...."Sounds like....".
Simply stating that one attempts to maintain some small degree of physical fitness and finds the same attractive in a partner require more experience and exposure to real life? I think you’re being overly dramatic here.
OP, it's heartwarming to see you sort of start to grasp that the world and people in it are full of nuance and contradictions, and that what makes some happy may not apply at ALL to others. Everyone's partner pool is their own partner pool. There are no rules.
Bless your heart... You're growing up!
My stance really hasn’t changed — I see no need to for growth if one simply states some degree of physical fitness is an attractive quality in potential partners.
Very common with women. Plenty I've known over the years really got obsessed with losing weight and when they got there they lost it in their breasts and backside (more than stomach) and their face became more gaunt. They were definitely sexier when overweight.
Exactly...that's how my mom was. She'd had abdominal surgery so her abs were messed up. She kept wanting to lose weight to be whatever she was before. She ended up looking like a pear on toothpicks! Skinny legs and arms but her waist was just as big as before - but she was in her 60's! Women just never seem to get a break and all too often don't give themselves a break either.
This is really the heart of it. The word "better" is loaded. It can be taken to mean "superior to" or "worth more than." I think it's better to talk about compatibility. Nobody is worth more as a human being because they are wealthy, educated, or fit.
That is the heart of it. But in the narrow context of dating or romance, those qualities get noticed, and being noticed is a prerequisite for being found attractive, and so those traits have value in that context. Utility.
Exactly...that's how my mom was. She'd had abdominal surgery so her abs were messed up. She kept wanting to lose weight to be whatever she was before. She ended up looking like a pear on toothpicks! Skinny legs and arms but her waist was just as big as before - but she was in her 60's! Women just never seem to get a break and all too often don't give themselves a break either.
I get what you’re saying but I think we have somewhat separate looks and health here. They are often related but there is some nuance. If I go to my doctor and he says you need to lose 30lbs to be healthier — his advice is likely prudent regardless of how I think it makes me look.
Just a hunch, but on average women at any age with a healthy BMI are probably healthier than women who are 30 lbs overweight because they feel it makes their butt and thighs look better.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo
My stance really hasn’t changed — I see no need to for growth if one simply states some degree of physical fitness is an attractive quality in potential partners.
Except no one is buying what you're selling.
If a woman was one of the many millions that both exercises religiously and eats healthily but it visibly overweight or even obese, I doubt you'd be interested. It's the not being overweight that matters more than being fit and into physical fitness.
If a woman was one of the many millions that both exercises religiously and eats healthily but it visibly overweight or even obese, I doubt you'd be interested. It's the not being overweight that matters more than being fit and into physical fitness.
How really is your aesthetic judgment that some women can be too thin, and harm their appearance, any different from his preference?
My stance really hasn’t changed — I see no need to for growth if one simply states some degree of physical fitness is an attractive quality in potential partners.
Except this is not how your argument was constructed in your first post. This is exactly how you backtracked in your post about your "relative" and infertility, in which you started out by inferring that women get a pass for wanting to end a marriage if their spouse did not want to do IVF or donor, but that men were condemned for it. You really changed your tune when people started to push back on your gender equity "observations."
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