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OP, you started talking about health, and now you are zeroed in on weight, even throwing out the "300 lb woman" bete noir. You are looking very transparent and foolish right now.
Should he wear a scarlet "T" of "F"? And if were handing out scarlet letters, dress so you don't clash with the red. I know I will.
Interesting point/experience. Thx for contributing. I'm aware there are those types out there, but some men generalize to any woman who's in certain professions: lawyer, maybe doctor or scientist, university professor, business manager, simply because they're intimidated by women with advanced degrees or who pursue their life goals. They imagine, that in order to advance in one's profession, one needs to be goal-oriented at the expense of all else.
Again, there are some women out there who have to have a laser-like focus on career for awhile (as do many men), but most don't need to do that, to get where they want to be. They lead balanced, well-rounded lives, and are interesting and fun to be around.
with the exception of doctor and lawyer all those professions you just mentioned are heavily male, and doctors AND lawyers tend to be control freaks MALE and FEMALE as it kinda takes that kind of personality to excel in those professions. But say women in social work, nursing, non profit professions(female leaning) don't seem to have those reputations even though higher ups in those fields pull in the big bucks, and require advanced degrees like the professions you mentioned.
with the exception of doctor and lawyer all those professions you just mentioned are heavily male, and doctors AND lawyers tend to be control freaks MALE and FEMALE as it kinda takes that kind of personality to excel in those professions. But say women in social work, nursing, non profit professions(female leaning) don't seem to have those reputations even though higher ups in those fields pull in the big bucks, and require advanced degrees like the professions you mentioned.
None of the women lawyers I know are control freaks. This is exactly the type of blanket generalization I'm pointing out as having little grounding in reality. You sound like you've had some unpleasant experiences with people, and attributed it to their profession instead of to their personality.
None of the women lawyers I know are control freaks. This is exactly the type of blanket generalization I'm pointing out as having little grounding in reality. You sound like you've had some unpleasant experiences with people, and attributed it to their profession instead of to their personality.
nope, my father, grandfather an uncle and 2 aunts and many cousins are in that profession, lucky for me my father was the odd ball in the family, a liberal hippy lawyer who has spent 56 years sticking it to the man lol but what I described is common among most of the lawyers I've known all my life, not saying they are all bad people but they tend to always be "on" and feel the need to have every aspect of their life in a certain order.
Also there has been much study on how different professions tend to attract certain personality types, it's not etched in stone and there are other factors such as multi-generational family businesses or professions, but there are patterns that pop up among those that CHOOSE certain professions.
None of the women lawyers I know are control freaks. This is exactly the type of blanket generalization I'm pointing out as having little grounding in reality. You sound like you've had some unpleasant experiences with people, and attributed it to their profession instead of to their personality.
I can't say that I've seen a lot of "control freak" in any lawyers I've known. What they do almost universally have is a very clear view of 'worst case scenario' that paints them in a bad light. Any rose colored glasses they owned were long ago shattered. That can come off looking like "control freak" behavior, because they often will insist on something like a prenup.
Yeah, you said it. So? Do what you want.
It's your instance on telling others how they act or should that's the issue.
If you already decided its what you want, just do it.
No reason to make a thread that really only exists to make some people that are overweight feel crappy about themselves. This entire thread is just passive aggressive jerkiness.
Exactly. He tried to disguise it, but it is none other than a "NO OVERWEIGHT WOMEN" thread.
Exactly. He tried to disguise it, but it is none other than a "NO OVERWEIGHT WOMEN" thread.
I don't see it that way. I see it as the boldface below. Also, he mentioned fitness, intellectualism, and financial stability. It is other people who cherry-picked the weight part and ran with it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo
I started thinking today that in some ways being “better” can make it harder to meet people who you find to be your equal.
What I mean by that is that as you become a better version of yourself you probably start looking for the same traits in a mate. This can quickly limit your pool of potential mates.
Let’s say you like being physically fit…nothing crazy like a pro athlete but like 10-12% body fat and in the gym 3-4 days a week for example. Let’s say 20% of potential mates find the same thing important and take it seriously.
Now let’s say you are college educated, enjoy learning and like having the occasional discussion with some depth — this could also describe say 20% of potential mates.
What if you’re also financially stable/secure/prudent — again what if this is 20% of potential mates?
Now what if you want all three and perhaps a few other criteria…the better version of yourself may have now narrowed the dating pool down to say 5-10% of singles.
The “less better” version of yourself could essentially have a much larger pool of people to pick from.
Not saying you shouldn’t strive towards being “better” but I’m just saying…
Again, where I differ is my own experience that the more self-improvement I did, the more people I met, which would imply a larger, not smaller, pool to choose from. This is only logical because it adds to my pool the people who would not have come near me before my self-improvement. Self-improvement rarely costs you admirers. Only people who are insecure or otherwise threatened by you improving yourself would back away or rebel, and they are the ones with the problem, not you. People who truly like you and care for you want you to succeed at whatever you set your mind to. They may even want to join you on your journey. I certainly found friends and men who were always working on themselves to be inspiring, and that is what I look for in a potential partner.
Self-improvement has some good side effects. When you prove what you are capable of to yourself, it is empowering and gives you confidence and inner strength and peace--all of which tend to radiate outward and make you more attractive than before, no matter your weight, education, job, or money. It also gives you the confidence to walk away from unsuitable or unsavory types. We see so many people staying in bad situations or unhappy relationships because they fear being alone or they fear nobody else will want them. When you feel good about yourself, you realize that you can--dare I say it--do better than a mismatch or someone who treats you poorly.
Last edited by Seija; 01-11-2022 at 02:54 PM..
Reason: bad typing
A healthy weight/exercise is being/becoming a “better” (notice the quotations in the thread title) version of one’s self. Looking for the same quality in a partner will obviously reduce the dating pool. Admittedly, nothing insightful.
Well...there's other ways to 'better' oneself other than going to the gym 3x a week. For some, perhaps their priority is furthering their education...and night school is where it's at, after their 8 hour shifts at their day job. THAT'S their priority for the time being.
There's only so many hours in a day, and people will prioritize in different ways.
When I was young and single, I was at the gym 3x a week, not counting weekends. But what else did I have to do really? I was single, so my time was my own. I could skip a meal or grab a burger after an hour or 2 at the gym.
It's been MY experience that once you're in a relationship, it's harder to keep a schedule like that. One has to be REALLY dedicated to it...and I wasn't.
Exactly. He tried to disguise it, but it is none other than a "NO OVERWEIGHT WOMEN" thread.
Yes, he started out by talking about taking care of one's physical (and mental) health, but it has since veered off into the aesthetics of weight alone.
Here's a sample of his posts just from the previous few pages.
Quote:
If a person finds being height/weight proportionate and making an effort to be physically healthy attractive — you don’t think they are going to exclude some people from their dating pool?
Quote:
Why would you need to date someone to know if they are height/weight proportionate if that’s something you are attracted to?
Quote:
If a person attempts to stay fit and finds the same quality physically attractive in another person — no surprise they may not be attracted to someone that is 300lbs.
Quote:
I will say it again: there is nothing wrong with a person physically preferring to date someone of a healthy weight that exercises regularly.
Quote:
And a healthy weight is something that can to a large degree be quantified physically.
I will say it again: there is nothing wrong with someone physically preferring for themselves and someone they want to date to be of a healthy weight.
Exactly. He tried to disguise it, but it is none other than a "NO OVERWEIGHT WOMEN" thread.
Not really. In the real world people work toward personal goals and often try to find partners that share their vision. Like I said, being fit/health is like someone trying to be financially secure. A person who puts in the sacrifice and work to get ahead financially will often look for the same traits and goals in a partner. The person who’s on a path to retire at 55 could have long term compatibility issues with someone who lives paycheck to paycheck without even giving a passing thought about the future.
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