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Give it up. You're rattling on with the same stuff over and over. You're not convincing us.
If you want to shrink your pool, go right ahead. Anyone can. That's their choice. It's your choice. It's not a damn result of you "bettering" yourself. It's a choice you're making.
That professor can decide intellectualism isn't a priority.
That trainer can decide how much a person weighs isn't a priority.
A well off person can decide they don't care how much a person earns or if they're good with their money.
Make your choices and own them. Trying to create some narrative that its natural or a person automatically limits themselves as they "better" themselves is hogwash. No one is "faulting" anyone.
You decided you want no fatties and people that work out. Great. Cool. Whatever.
Yes, I totally agree that as one feels they are bettering themselves it IS a choice if they hold the same areas of betterment in high regard for potential partners. That was the entire point of the thread.
One could probably draw parallels with addiction. Let’s say someone was a former alcoholic — would it really be too horrible if that person decides finding a partner that doesn’t drink is a quality they hold in high regards?
Not really. In the real world people work toward personal goals and often try to find partners that share their vision. Like I said, being fit/health is like someone trying to be financially secure. A person who puts in the sacrifice and work to get ahead financially will often look for the same traits and goals in a partner. The person who’s on a path to retire at 55 could have long term compatibility issues with someone who lives paycheck to paycheck without even giving a passing thought about the future.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,178,375 times
Reputation: 40641
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo
Yes, I totally agree that as one feels they are bettering themselves it IS a choice if they hold the same areas of betterment in high regard for potential partners. That was the entire point of the thread.
No, no it wasn't at all. You're moving goal posts, again.
I won't point out, again, how you're changing your arguments, AGAIN.
Lets just look at your opening last salvo:
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo
The “less better” version of yourself could essentially have a much larger pool of people to pick from.
NO NO NO. Unless YOU DECIDE to have fewer choices, you won't. You have the same pool to pick from. Same pool. YOU ARE DECIDING not to. It's not a natural, or inevitable, or even usual end result of "bettering" oneself. It's a conscious decision to do so. And one anyone can make, whether they are "better" or not. A person who is overweight, or broke, or whatever can make the same limiting choices. It has NOTHING to do with "bettering" oneself.
Nothing about being "better" makes is harder to meet people. And nothing at all requires or even encourages a person who "bettered" themselves to change what they're looking for in potential partners. NOTHING.
What exactly are you sarcastically disagreeing with?
All of it. And the fact that you are trying to defend yourself and just going deeper into the hole. Many of us have been around here long enough to see right through you.
No, no it wasn't at all. You're moving goal posts, again.
I won't point out, again, how you're changing your arguments, AGAIN.
Lets just look at your opening last salvo:
NO NO NO. Unless YOU DECIDE to have fewer choices, you won't. You have the same pool to pick from. Same pool. YOU ARE DECIDING not to. It's not a natural, or inevitable, or even usual end result of "bettering" oneself. It's a conscious decision to do so. And one anyone can make, whether they are "better" or not. A person who is overweight, or broke, or whatever can make the same limiting choices. It has NOTHING to do with "bettering" oneself.
Nothing about being "better" makes is harder to meet people. And nothing at all requires or even encourages a person who "bettered" themselves to change what they're looking for in potential partners. NOTHING.
I really don’t see what your argument is anymore.
And sure being “better” could make it harder for some people to meet people if they prioritize finding someone with similar traits/goals. If someone tries to stay fit, educated, financially secure, mentally healthy, spiritual etc — prioritizing those qualities in a partner will inevitably shrink their dating pool. Yes, that is a conscious decision — just like someone wanting children may make the conscious decision to only be in relationships with people that also want children.
All of it. And the fact that you are trying to defend yourself and just going deeper into the hole. Many of us have been around here long enough to see right through you.
I'm done here. Good luck.
Like what exactly? I think you are being overly negative for no reason.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,178,375 times
Reputation: 40641
Quote:
Originally Posted by GoAmericaGo
I really don’t see what your argument is anymore.
And sure being “better” could make it harder for some people to meet people if they prioritize finding someone with similar traits/goals. If someone tries to stay fit, educated, financially secure, mentally healthy, spiritual etc — prioritizing those qualities in a partner will inevitably shrink their dating pool.
That’s just how dating works.
My argument is you're moving goal posts and changing your "argument" every other page.
You contradict yourself regularly.
That' in a addition to being straight up wrong.
Someone can prioritize whatever they want in others whether they better themselves or not. It has nothing to do with bettering themselves.
They can better themselves and not prioritize the same thing in others. Because they didn't think to or choose to or heck, it would never cross their mind.
That's not "how dating works". That's how YOU work and you want it to be normal for everyone.
Too bad. You need to learn to just speak for you.
Me losing 40# or so from my peak. More than doubling my income. Obtaining more degrees. Buying a home. Etc. over the years. Hasn't changed one little thing I look for in others. Why would it? I've looked for chemistry, people who are kind, are fun, and that I'm attracted to and hit it off with.
A damn checklist never entered into it, nevermind changing my "standards" for others after I "bettered" myself.
The entire notion is pretty absurd. Once again, it screams "I've never been in love".
And I note you don't answer questions about your age, or dating experience. My guess is very strongly that your very young and this is very conceptual for you as it rings to lacking experience.
But would you look negatively at someone who would admire that quality as basis for initial attraction?
Are you really asking if I would judge YOU for having that priority? I really don't know.
You seem to place a high priority on physical appearance. It's important to YOU. OK. So be it. I think the issue a lot of people are having is that you seem to attach a...morality to it. Like to justify yourself but yet judge others. I think that's where a lot of us are at odds with you.
Do I care that physical attraction is important to you. No. Not at all. Do I care that you seem to want to imply that there's a moral high ground to your outlook? Well...I find that a tad offensive. But in the grand life scheme...your beliefs don't have any kind of impact on my life...so....I don't know. Carry on Garth.
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