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We have no way of knowing, and can only guess. She may be used to a different timeline of the escalation of physical contact than you. Or maybe she really did get busy. Does she have work demands that ebb and flow? Did either of you say anything during the 3rd date, about future outings, or future anything together?
The only pattern I see when reading your story is, that she had to initiate nearly all the physical contact. Maybe she would have preferred that you do it. But that's a really difficult thing to gauge, OP. One woman may prefer you move it along fairly quickly, another would think your pace was just fine.
You can't 2nd-guess these things. All you can conclude, is that it wasn't a good match for whatever reason she perceived. If you knew what that reason was, you'd probably agree.
I also initiated touch. I added some details (I didn't want my post to get too long).
I guess she is used to more touch even without being in an exclusive relationship.
During the first two dates, when I hugged her at the end, she stood still, so that is why I honestly was a bit surprised when she grabbed my hand - I thought she was more conservative.
I also initiated touch. I added some details (I didn't want my post to get too long).
I guess she is used to more touch even without being in an exclusive relationship.
During the first two dates, when I hugged her at the end, she stood still, so that is why I honestly was a bit surprised when she grabbed my hand - I thought she was more conservative.
OK, well, it's hard to know for sure, OP. On the 3rd date, she said to the anonymous (to you) caller, that she was out with a "friend". That could be an indication of how she felt about you, or OTOH, it could be an indication of who the caller was. An ex, perhaps, that she didn't want to trigger any issues with, by calling you a "date"?
No way to know. "I'm busy now, and it's over" could mean that it WAS an ex calling, and she's gotten back together with him. All we can do is guess. It's one of those situations, where you'll just have to live with the lack of closure.
I am a guy in my early 30s.
I met a woman on a dating app then went on three dates with her.
First and second date, we talked and before we parted, I hugged her (she stood still, so I thought she was relatively conservative). On the second date, we had more physical contact; for example, we were walking side-by-side and our shoulders were touching as we talked. I touched her by touching her hand, placing my hand on her shoulder, etc. She also initiated touch (by wiping something off my face).
In between dates, we kept in contact through texts, and we would flirt with each other.
And she agreed to the third date.
So for these reasons, I felt she had some level of interest in me.
On the third date, she initiated physical touch a lot more.
We had dinner and I thought conversation went ok. We talked about what to do next, like she invited me to her place to watch TV.
When we were outside walking to a concert, she answered a phone call, and she said she was out with a friend (she is referring to me as the "friend"), and as she said that, she grabbed my hand for a few seconds, so we held hands for the first time.
Later, at the concert, and as we sat next to each other, she initiated touch - she held my hand and she would put her leg against mine, etc. I put my arm around her waist. We talked and laughed. She also preened her hair so her neck was exposed in my direction. I made some jokes..maybe I should have been more sincere.
She also asked who my ideal type was.
At the end, we hugged, and after she got on her subway, she looked back and we waved to each other.
So... I thought she was interested. But when I tried to set the fourth date, she said she was busy and now, it is over.
What happened? What did her physical contact mean?
Should I have expressed my feelings more?
Wait a minute...
Are you assuming it's over because she said she was busy?
Are you assuming it's over because she said she was busy?
OP, please clarify; did she say "it's over" or was that your editorial comment to us? And what was her tone of voice when she said she's busy? Was she curt about it, like she wanted to end the call ASAP?
Thanks for your help. Yes in the end it didn't work out.
Then how do you know when a date is successful?
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