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Well, I don't know what he's doing (or not doing) but it has never been an issue for me. Now, perhaps it may be because I have an 'above average'-looking face and body, I dunno, or maybe because I have 'pretty eyes' or a pleasant neutral expression (no RBF).
What I REALLY think it is is... *drumroll*... ATTITUDE.
Attitude. About yourself AND others.
If you have a bad attitude PERIOD, that is uniformly regarded as 'unattractive'. It is not about the height or the facial bone structure, hair (or lack of), weight, etc.
This has been addressed TO DEATH here and it is so sad that it seems to never sink in.
And, for God's sake, stay offline if it doesn't work for you. Sheesh!
Thats kind of rude, why should he stay offline if your advice doesn't work? I don't know the guy or how old he is but if he's in his thirtys like me and all the advice hasnt worked for him its insensitive to keep telling him that. For gods sake is it hard for someone to see it from his shoes?
I’ve had one relationship with getting to know someone first who wasn’t very attractive at all trying to find other traits to gain attraction and it just doesn’t work.
I liked that he was a good trustworthy person who had a job and could give me some security as I get older but in the end it didn’t change the fact he was short had a receding hairline and a average looking at best face. I felt like making him out with him was a chore where the good looking guys got me wet right away for lack of better term.
I’m not saying everyone is exactly the same but I feel a lot off people who do this he grew on me thing probably aren’t that attracted to their mate and that saddens me. Life’s too short to not be attracted to your partner
How do most of you feel about it?
Generally speaking (not always but like 98% of the time) A woman has already made up her mind if she CAN (can doesn’t mean will) sleep with a man within the first 30 seconds of meeting him. It doesn’t mean she has them all figured out, etc., but her instinctual standards will either be met physically almost instantaneously
Or not.
Well I don’t know if this will help the OP, but my attraction to my husband definitely took time to grow. We were barely more than acquaintances for six months. He was healthy and physically attractive enough, but not my type in terms of looks. There was zero spark there.
Then one day it was like a switch flipped and I noticed him. Like, preoccupied infatuation noticed him. He’d been window dressing before.
I couldn’t even explain it to you, but he became attractive to me. And then I pursued him and we got to know each other and he became MORE attractive to me. I knew about three weeks into dating we’d marry, as we were massively compatible and our life goals aligned. It’s been a decade and a half and he still isn’t the type that revs engine the most sexually, that’s probably one of the weaker parts of our otherwise fantastic relationship. But I love so much and we are happy together. He’s a wonderful father and husband, my best friend, and our sexual chemistry isn’t perfect but it’s enough to be happy and satisfied.
We are getting older now, but still love each other and are wonderful companions. The attraction and spark that wasn’t there initially absolutely grew and turned into something sustainable and wonderful. It CAN happen. If I wrote him off forever on a first impression I’d have missed a fantastic husband and still one of the best fits for my life and goals I’ve ever found reflected in another person.
I find that women are more forgiving with looks, per say, but NOT chemistry. She can be into you fully as a less than super attractive guy, if you have chemistry. Men, tend to be less forgiving of looks and will give up some chemistry if she’s “hot”
I find that women are more forgiving with looks, per say, but NOT chemistry. She can be into you fully as a less than super attractive guy, if you have chemistry. Men, tend to be less forgiving of looks and will give up some chemistry if she’s “hot”
Sounds like a recipe for disaster at least for a ltr.
Look at the hottest model, and remember there's some guy getting sick of her sh*t.
I remember the collective "WhatwhatWHAT?" when it was discovered Billy Joel was cheating on Christie Brinkley.
Chemistry and compatiblity is where it's at. Of course some people aren't meant to be monogomous, or don't like commitment so they may not be looking so deeply.
Well I don’t know if this will help the OP, but my attraction to my husband definitely took time to grow. We were barely more than acquaintances for six months. He was healthy and physically attractive enough, but not my type in terms of looks. There was zero spark there.
Then one day it was like a switch flipped and I noticed him. Like, preoccupied infatuation noticed him. He’d been window dressing before.
I couldn’t even explain it to you, but he became attractive to me. And then I pursued him and we got to know each other and he became MORE attractive to me. I knew about three weeks into dating we’d marry, as we were massively compatible and our life goals aligned. It’s been a decade and a half and he still isn’t the type that revs engine the most sexually, that’s probably one of the weaker parts of our otherwise fantastic relationship. But I love so much and we are happy together. He’s a wonderful father and husband, my best friend, and our sexual chemistry isn’t perfect but it’s enough to be happy and satisfied.
We are getting older now, but still love each other and are wonderful companions. The attraction and spark that wasn’t there initially absolutely grew and turned into something sustainable and wonderful. It CAN happen. If I wrote him off forever on a first impression I’d have missed a fantastic husband and still one of the best fits for my life and goals I’ve ever found reflected in another person.
You married him fell in love yet still don’t have great sexual chemistry because he isn’t your physical type.
You kinda proved my point lol
Otherwise shouldn’t love and a connection create good sexual chemistry and override the fact hes wasn’t your exact physical type?
You married him fell in love yet still don’t have great sexual chemistry because he isn’t your physical type.
You kinda proved my point lol
Otherwise shouldn’t love and a connection create good sexual chemistry and override the fact hes wasn’t your exact physical type?
Why aren’t you with your physical type then? In a long term current relationship, I mean.
Haven’t you developed the physical, and other, attributes to lockdown one of these people since you are making examples out of other posters’ relationships?
Well I don’t know if this will help the OP, but my attraction to my husband definitely took time to grow. We were barely more than acquaintances for six months. He was healthy and physically attractive enough, but not my type in terms of looks. There was zero spark there.
Then one day it was like a switch flipped and I noticed him. Like, preoccupied infatuation noticed him. He’d been window dressing before.
I couldn’t even explain it to you, but he became attractive to me. And then I pursued him and we got to know each other and he became MORE attractive to me. I knew about three weeks into dating we’d marry, as we were massively compatible and our life goals aligned. It’s been a decade and a half and he still isn’t the type that revs engine the most sexually, that’s probably one of the weaker parts of our otherwise fantastic relationship. But I love so much and we are happy together. He’s a wonderful father and husband, my best friend, and our sexual chemistry isn’t perfect but it’s enough to be happy and satisfied.
We are getting older now, but still love each other and are wonderful companions. The attraction and spark that wasn’t there initially absolutely grew and turned into something sustainable and wonderful. It CAN happen. If I wrote him off forever on a first impression I’d have missed a fantastic husband and still one of the best fits for my life and goals I’ve ever found reflected in another person.
It sounds like you have a great marriage!
No two people are perfectly sexually matched all the time. Every couple, sooner or later, will run into some kind of difference, whether it is desire, sufficient energy to have sex (think of parents with babies), dysfunction (erectile or other), or style. Sex is really no different than the rest of the relationship: No two people agree on everything, or even feel the same level of agreement or passion for something, and people change as time goes on. That is all okay. As long as no one shames, forces, or otherwise coerces their partner to do things their way when their partner doesn't want to, it's normal and just part of life. If two people love one another, they work through it together.
Generally speaking (not always but like 98% of the time) A woman has already made up her mind if she CAN (can doesn’t mean will) sleep with a man within the first 30 seconds of meeting him. It doesn’t mean she has them all figured out, etc., but her instinctual standards will either be met physically almost instantaneously
Or not.
Heh, that's a young man's attitude. I thought like that too.
There is some truth to it, it's just not that extreme.
The truth is that you're a product of your environment, being a combination of what your family taught you, your youth, your attractiveness, and your social upbringing.
Some women have always had a pool of men they are attracted to, to choose from, from age 14 to 28, and then they get married at age 28, and have kids, and that's the end. So, yea, there's no need to compromise or overthink it and they have hard cutoffs.
For others it's different.
One thing I have seen women ABSOLUTELY do is ... get into a serious relationship with some guy, and then it doesn't work out. And then, they will write off all guys from that demographic. Like ... I'm never gonna date a Puerto Rican guy again. Even though they are Puerto Rican!
You married him fell in love yet still don’t have great sexual chemistry because he isn’t your physical type.
You kinda proved my point lol
Otherwise shouldn’t love and a connection create good sexual chemistry and override the fact hes wasn’t your exact physical type?
I know women who are barely on the wrong side of 50 who are still physically attractive, and come to this country (the United States) with knowing barely any English, to live with their adult daughters and grandchildren and ... that's basically it.
No real desire for a romantic relationship or career, or even really to make friends. Of course, maybe it was a good idea, since their home country is off starting wars with other countries.
So ... you can take your lofty goals and run with them, but others are just fine with what they have.
Get out and see the world man..
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