New vegan bf and I keep getting frustrated with each other's diet choices. (how to, man)
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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty
We're lucky enough here in my local metro to have access to animal products of all kinds raised locally by small farmers (and while it's not factory farm, hunks-of-meat-at-every-meal cheap, it's not outlandishly expensive, either). It's not unusual for families to split butchered animals amongst themselves (usually beef, pork, and/or venison), which also helps to keeps costs down. So far as milk and eggs are concerned, local eggs are super easy to find as is dairy/dairy products. As a country girl who grew up around hunters, fishers, and those who farmed, I didn't grow up with the disconnect between animals and what was on my plate (it teaches you not to waste, if nothing else as someone actually died in order for you to eat) and feel that it's healthy for children to know what (or in the case of animals, "who") you're preparing to eat. .
Oh, I"m in full agreement. I really still think most Americans have a "meat is something that is saran wrapped in a store" and that's the end of it. I can't even count the number of people that are primarily factory farmed pork/beef eaters that still are up in arms (not literally) re duck and deer hunters. It makes zero sense, but its rather prevalent, especially in more urban areas.
Sure I'd date a vegan but it would be him that was uncomfortable and questioning his choice of dating me. He'd know up front that I'm not interested in changing my diet for him or listening to lectures and I'd probably frustrate him right out of the relationship.
Oh, I"m in full agreement. I really still think most Americans have a "meat is something that is saran wrapped in a store" and that's the end of it. I can't even count the number of people that are primarily factory farmed pork/beef eaters that still are up in arms (not literally) re duck and deer hunters. It makes zero sense, but its rather prevalent, especially in more urban areas.
My partner, who is an unabashed meat eater, isn't too keen to watch me butcher whole chickens even though he'll happily eat whatever I cook with the broken down bird once it's on a plate. Good thing that he's never watch me gut, scale, and filet a fish and break down a side of pork. One of his children is a vegetarian (she likes cheese far too much to go vegan), so when she's around, family meals are adapted to her diet as it's easier to do so than to do it the other way 'round. She's not militant about her veggie ways, which is a wonderful thing as I refuse to have the supper table be a battleground.
O.P.: just how militant (or not) is your boyfriend when it comes to his veganism? On a scale of "eats honey/wears leather" to "you're-stealing-my-future Greta Thunberg, " where do his beliefs and behaviors lie?
Last edited by Formerly Known As Twenty; 01-14-2022 at 09:57 PM..
OP, it sounds like dating your boyfriend is going to be a chore. Is that the relationship you want?
This takes me bak to the thread where someone asked what the most important aspect of a partner is to a given person. I stated compatibility and I stand by that. You'd be much better off with a guy who eats like you do, and soy boy would be much happier with a granola girl. Neither one of you are wrong, you're just the wrong one for each other.
It's why I'll never date a vegan, vegetarian, smoker, tweaker, swinger, armchair quarterback, toker, beer swiller, holy roller, gaslighter, man-child, manipulator, abuser or mentally unstable individual. Your list may vary.
My partner, who is an unabashed meat eater, isn't too keen to watch me butcher whole chickens even though he'll happily eat whatever I cook with the broken down bird once it's on a plate. Good thing that he's never watch me gut, scale, and filet a fish and break down a side of pork. One of his children is a vegetarian (she likes cheese far too much to go vegan), so when she's around, family meals are adapted to her diet as it's easier to do so than to do it the other way 'round. She's not militant about her veggie ways, which is a wonderful thing as I refuse to have the supper table be a battleground.
O.P.: just how militant (or not) is your boyfriend when it comes to his veganism? On a scale of "eats honey/wears leather" to "you're-stealing-my-future Greta Thunberg, " where do his beliefs and behaviors lie?
He definitely advocates for veganism.
For example, I found a comment on a news site on facebook where he was complaining that his post was removed (for advocating for plant-based diets in prisons) and he told the moderators to 'debate his post like a real person.'
OP, it sounds like dating your boyfriend is going to be a chore. Is that the relationship you want?
This takes me bak to the thread where someone asked what the most important aspect of a partner is to a given person. I stated compatibility and I stand by that. You'd be much better off with a guy who eats like you do, and soy boy would be much happier with a granola girl. Neither one of you are wrong, you're just the wrong one for each other.
It's why I'll never date a vegan, vegetarian, smoker, tweaker, swinger, armchair quarterback, toker, beer swiller, holy roller, gaslighter, man-child, manipulator, abuser or mentally unstable individual. Your list may vary.
True, if I could choose I'd rather someone moderate - neither a vegan nor a meat-heavy eater. Just, someone who enjoys foods from the whole food pyramid and ordering a pizza from time to time.
yes that is what concerns me - I eat animal products everyday.
Also the main issue is - what happens when we have kids??
Quote:
Originally Posted by Formerly Known As Twenty
How serious are you two about one another?
What I will say is this: just as there are political and religious zealots so are there dietary ones. If your boyfriend regards his veganism as a a lifestyle choice that's one thing (and is, in my opinion, manageable); if he falls into the vegan zealotry camp, a parting of the ways might be best before you proceed to much further into what you said is a relatively new relationship.
You're the only one who can decide if you'd like to continue this relationship and/or alter some of your own eating patterns in order to accommodate his (that is, going animal product-free a few times a week isn't difficult or unsatisfying) and let him know that if he goes to a family event where the guest of honor is an animal on a spit, that he's just going to have to deal with it (or decline to go).
So far as kids are concerned, what I would do in the shoes of either a veg or omni parent is to introduce the children to a wide variety of foods, let them know up close and personal how vegetables, fruits, legumes, grains, and animal products are grown/raised and harvested (and when it comes to animal products, not via the PETA propaganda, but by knowing your local farmers), then let them choose for themselves which way they'd like to go.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Unless you're buying from that local farmer, its probably not representative. There is a large difference between the beef or chicken grown by small farmers that you pick up at a farm stand or local farmers markets (or some small local shops) than the large feed lot and factory farming producers that dominate the large supermarket chain supplies.
Thank you, Timberline.
Let's all not be disingenuous about where meat comes from. At least be honest with yourselves and each other, folks. Yes, sure, show your kids where meat really comes from. You don't need PETA for that. There are plenty of videos that show the process on YouTube and social media. I recommend that you watch them, too. With the sound on.
For example, I found a comment on a news site on facebook where he was complaining that his post was removed (for advocating for plant-based diets in prisons) and he told the moderators to 'debate his post like a real person.'
If that is going to put you off, let's hope he's not also a participant on City Data!
This is more than what you eat or whether you can find a restaurant to go to. Veganism (if you are truly committed) is a lifestyle that extends to the pots and utensils you cook with to the shoes you wear and leather furniture you sit on.
I once had an in-law who got upset at a group dinner when someone used a regular serving spoon (that was clean) to serve the vegetables and not a special one that was only reserved for the vegan food.
It's one thing to socialize in short spurts with those differing lifestyles but as a relationship it wouldn't be practical unless you become vegan.
Vegetarian, I can handle....Vegans...they are almost undate-able. lol
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One of his children is a vegetarian (she likes cheese far too much to go vegan), so when she's around, family meals are adapted to her diet as it's easier to do so than to do it the other way 'round. She's not militant about her veggie ways, which is a wonderful thing as I refuse to have the supper table be a battleground.
