New vegan bf and I keep getting frustrated with each other's diet choices. (cheat, American)

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by Butterflyfish

I see it as no different than someone following a strict Keto diet or any other diet/lifetstyle that isn't the Standard American Diet. People with dietary restrictions and long-time vegans know how to work around America's meat-eating culture. I'm sure your new bf would be just fine at your family's split-roast celebration. He'd bring a vegan dish or maybe eat before-hand.

Vegans get accused of being judgmental and "cultish" but meat eaters are equally cult-like as evidenced by the judgemental and defensive comments in this thread. One poster upthread even telling vegans to move out of the country if they don't want to eat meat. Hilarious!

I was once an athlete and followed a strict diet for years that my husband and children did not follow. It was no big deal. Family holidays were fine, I worked around it. Who cares? You didn't even notice he was vegan until the third date.

So so very true. Spot on.

It's really about cultural norms, not cults. There are huge population countries/regions where the notion of eating a cow, or a pig, would be abhorrent. And eating a dog or a horse wouldn't be. What makes us "right" and them "wrong"? Nothing. I guess in that way its like a religion (more than a cult)... in that the way I live and was raised is the "correct" way.

[gentlearts]

I would boldly keep my dietary habits until he either breaks up with you, or doesn't. Nobody can make you feel uncomfortable, except you. It kind of depends upon who is doing the cooking. I would not be doing the cooking for a vegan.

I know a couple who are happily married. She and their daughters are vegetarian and the husband is a meat eater. He is fine with eating whatever she cooks, and she is fine if he orders a steak in a restaurant. I presume she comes up with enough food to keep him satisfied, meat or not.

[DontH8Me]

Originally Posted by timberline742

Sure, but if they saw one of those sheep or chickens I just petted picked up and butchered, how many would jump into the picnic table seat to eat it?

There is a gigantic emotional attachment when one doesn't see the entire process. Heck, one can go to a slaughterhouse and see a bolt gun put to a head in a chute, the throat cut, it being hung up to bleed... and then have a hamburger later. There are steps in between. We, as humans, separate and detach easily, for better an worse.

As and adult I could easily do this. As an 8 year old. I don't know.

I was exactly 8 years old when I visited with family in Croatia all summer, and while staying at the family estate, I got to tend to all the livestock including feeding the chickens. When my aunt came by to help out my gran with lunch, she had me join her and watch as she grabbed a chicken by its neck, swung it around a few times to snap its neck, poured boiling water over it and rapidly plucked handfuls of feathers off the bird. Within 20 minutes it was on the stove with the rest of the ingredients for a delicious chicken soup. It was quite tasty.

I was traumatized when I found a dead fly in my porridge on this same trip. Something about bugs is just no. But meat of any kind is delicious and I have seen it from egg to chick to fryer, from sow to suckling piglet to bacon and pork chops, from cow to calf to veal and beef, etc.

I cannot imagine life with a partner who is vegan. I don't judge vegans, I understand their stance and respect their wishes. But don't expect me to tiptoe around them or pretend that their meat replicas don't taste like azz.

[timberline742]

Originally Posted by DontH8Me

I was exactly 8 years old when I visited with family in Croatia all summer, and while staying at the family estate, I got to tend to all the livestock including feeding the chickens. When my aunt came by to help out my gran with lunch, she had me join her and watch as she grabbed a chicken by its neck, swung it around a few times to snap its neck, poured boiling water over it and rapidly plucked handfuls of feathers off the bird. Within 20 minutes it was on the stove with the rest of the ingredients for a delicious chicken soup. It was quite tasty.

I was traumatized when I found a dead fly in my porridge on this same trip. Something about bugs is just no. But meat of any kind is delicious and have seen it from egg to chick to fryer, from sow to suckling piglet to bacon and pork chops, from cow to calf to veal and beef, etc.
I
I cannot imagine life with a partner who is vegan. I don't judge vegans, I understand their stance and respect their wishes. But don't expect me to tiptoe around them or pretend that their meat replicas don't taste like azz.

You have. Growing up in Croatia (or got a taste of life there). Most of the world is very very different from the U.S. and the more "rich" western countries. Very few, proportionally, Americans grow up seeing this. Very few. And almost all are rural.

I, personally, have zero problem with eating meat or people eating meat, but I absolutely can't stand people that hate hunting or killing livestock, but have no problem eating meat where they don't see any of the dirty work involved. I just don't like the mental/emotional disconnect that is so very common.

[Mariruc]

Originally Posted by DontH8Me

I was exactly 8 years old when I visited with family in Croatia all summer, and while staying at the family estate, I got to tend to all the livestock including feeding the chickens. When my aunt came by to help out my gran with lunch, she had me join her and watch as she grabbed a chicken by its neck, swung it around a few times to snap its neck, poured boiling water over it and rapidly plucked handfuls of feathers off the bird. Within 20 minutes it was on the stove with the rest of the ingredients for a delicious chicken soup. It was quite tasty.

I was traumatized when I found a dead fly in my porridge on this same trip. Something about bugs is just no. But meat of any kind is delicious and I have seen it from egg to chick to fryer, from sow to suckling piglet to bacon and pork chops, from cow to calf to veal and beef, etc.

I cannot imagine life with a partner who is vegan. I don't judge vegans, I understand their stance and respect their wishes. But don't expect me to tiptoe around them or pretend that their meat replicas don't taste like azz.

Omgsh I am Croatian too! I actually grew up there on a small farm and moved to Australia later.

I witnessed the whole process, from paddock to plate, and no it did not turn me off meat.

Over here, I always buy free range and organic meat as I am not a fan of farming practices.

[DontH8Me]

Originally Posted by Mariruc

Omgsh I am Croatian too! I actually grew up there on a small farm and moved to Australia later.

I witnessed the whole process, from paddock to plate, and no it did not turn me off meat.

Over here, I always buy free range and organic meat as I am not a fan of farming practices.

Small world, huh? Do you have any relatives in Canada by chance? My family in Canada did the whole pig slaughter event when we were visiting once - we got to see the whole process from start to finish. We were shown to respect the animal, to slaughter humanely and not to waste a single thing from the tip of the snout to the end of the tail.

My family back in the old country is very enmeshed agriculturally and in the gastro-culture. One of my uncles was the head of the hunters' association in Slavonia. I got to see the clearing that was created for Tito when he came to hunt in our town. They would drive the bucks into the clearing so he could easily hit the target and finish getting drunk in the hunters' lodge with his dignitaries.

So how do you feel about your guy now? I think you can find someone who is more compatible in Australia if that's where you're at. I have family there too, wouldn't you know?

Sretna nova godina!

[Mariruc]

Originally Posted by DontH8Me

Small world, huh? Do you have any relatives in Canada by chance? My family in Canada did the whole pig slaughter event when we were visiting once - we got to see the whole process from start to finish. We were shown to respect the animal, to slaughter humanely and not to waste a single thing from the tip of the snout to the end of the tail.

My family back in the old country is very enmeshed agriculturally and in the gastro-culture. One of my uncles was the head of the hunters' association in Slavonia. I got to see the clearing that was created for Tito when he came to hunt in our town. They would drive the bucks into the clearing so he could easily hit the target and finish getting drunk in the hunters' lodge with his dignitaries.

So how do you feel about your guy now? I think you can find someone who is more compatible in Australia if that's where you're at. I have family there too, wouldn't you know?

Sretna nova godina!

Sretna Nova No relatives in Canada but I do have some in the U.S. (New Jersey). Are yours in Sydney?

Yes small world indeed! My mum's side is from Slavonia agree - the farming practices there are more ethical than the one's even here in Australia.

I think I will have a think on it. I agree that diet plays a large role in the lives of people and compatibility is important.

[Seija]

Originally Posted by oregonwoodsmoke

Gee, thanks for the advice. My child raised his own livestock and helped with the butchering of meat and he hunted and fished and butchered and ate those animals, so he knew quite well where meat comes from.


I find it extremely off-putting and more than a bit childish when vegan types think they can gross carnivores out and that will make them stop eating meat.


Also, if the goal is to gross carnivores out, maybe Youtube and other social media should stop removing legitimate homesteading and hunting videos that are how-to about how to humanely butcher.

You missed my point. I find it extremely childish and disingenuous for people to ignore that the vast majority of meat comes from factory farms, and for people who talk about hunting etc. to act like that is how most people get their meat. That is simply not reality, and I think you know that.

Grossing people out? That's your conscience talking. If you were okay with it, you wouldn't have any problems watching it hearing it, or showing it to your kids. Cognitive dissonance runs rampant in omnivores. That's why so many of you are so defensive. Don't shoot the messenger. There are reasons very few people can stand to work in slaughterhouses for more than several months.

Also, people on this forum such as yourself need to get the terminology straight. Carnivores eat ONLY meat. Lions, tigers, etc. are carnivores. Humans are not classified as carnivores just because they eat some meat. You are an omnivore, someone who eats meat and plants.

[Seija]

Originally Posted by Butterflyfish

I see it as no different than someone following a strict Keto diet or any other diet/lifetstyle that isn't the Standard American Diet. People with dietary restrictions and long-time vegans know how to work around America's meat-eating culture. I'm sure your new bf would be just fine at your family's split-roast celebration. He'd bring a vegan dish or maybe eat before-hand.

Vegans get accused of being judgmental and "cultish" but meat eaters are equally cult-like as evidenced by the judgemental and defensive comments in this thread. One poster upthread even telling vegans to move out of the country if they don't want to eat meat. Hilarious!

I was once an athlete and followed a strict diet for years that my husband and children did not follow. It was no big deal. Family holidays were fine, I worked around it. Who cares? You didn't even notice he was vegan until the third date.

Thank you. I can rep on my tablet but it won't let me type in the rep box. Yes, I found the "why don't you move" comment funny, too. As the kids say, "nah." My native land does not have so many vegetarian options, to eat and to date, as here.

[Dwatted Wabbit]

OP, if you link up with a kook, expect kook behavior. Good luck, I don't see a happy ending here. Unless you want to be The Bickersons.