Valentines Day Gift Question..Women Need Your Advice! (friend, restaurant, like)
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I like getting flowers at work. If it's show-offy...so be it.
(This is the mandatory other point of view. ;-) )
Me, too, although as someone said, I hate having to lug them home.
Also, I worked for the Fed and getting any kind of delivery to that building was a PITA. You had to use an 'approved' florist.
OP, it's very thoughtful that you want to 'do the right thing' and not go overboard with a gift or flowers for Valentine's Day.
7 months is a pretty good chunk of time to be dating....so you should have a sense of what she would like. And, are you serious in this relationship and pursuing it for the long run?
Have you both chatted about V-day? Like, are we going to get each other something? I'm married and we do that. LOL
I always love flowers, but that's me. If you know she likes them, then I say nothing wrong with that. I agree with delivering them in person if only for the 'I won't have to lug them home from work' factor. If she's not a flower-kinda girl, how about a nice houseplant? Maybe not a tree though. haha
As for the jewelry, that IS personal. If it's not something completely ostentatious (so over the top or expensive that she feels uncomfortable about it - especially if you are not that serious about one another) then I say go for that, too. Something that reminds her of something you did together is thoughtful.
Finally, about dinner. I tend to agree with Ted Bear about doing something different than going to a restaurant. On V day it's a hassle. Everyone is packed, you usually need reservations, etc. Something special at home is nice. If you cook, you could cook her her favorite meal, or cook together, have a good bottle of wine, and watch a movie or go take a walk after dinner (or something else - wink).
I hope you let us know what you decide. I'm reminiscing about the old, romantic days, although I think Hubs has something up his sleeve......
I hate Valentines Day. That said, I always go to great lengths to make dinner reservations at least 1 month in advance. This year that wasn't enough. I got lucky calling a restaurant that is usually closed on Mondays but the manager was listening to the conversation and told the hostess they are open. Its the best Italian restaurant in town, or so I'm told. Beyond that, I like the one red rose idea someone mentioned on the first page and I may do that. My wife and I have only ben married 6 months and before that it was long distance, so it is like a new relationship. Also, I've been buying her things along the way such as a high end coffee maker for her cappuccinos, flowers about once a month or so, clothes shopping, pearl earrings, etc. She knows what I've put into this, so I don't see it as an issue. Also her birthday is 2 weeks later! I'm not made of money. Oh, and of course I'll get her an overpriced $10 card. I excel at picking out special cards.
I had to respond to this because your comment about the card made me laugh. Hubs and I decided a few years back that we did not need to get over-priced cards for one another (anymore) so we have cards that we re-use from that year and we just cross out the date and put a new date on it. We have a really good laugh over it every year.
Hmmm so neither her or I have been out for Valentine’s Day in over 8 years so I got a small impression that she was excited to have an excuse to dress up. I’ve cooked for her a few times already whcih was great but if the gong out idea is really that bad I can pivot!
Then perhaps, depending on where you are, go to the fanciest place. You know her, you say she was jazzed to get dressed up. Take her somewhere extra special, if you can get in.
One thing about jewelry - in my opinion it's better to get a really quality piece of jewelry every few years than mediocre jewelry every year.
As for giving jewelry after 7 months, I got jewelry from my DH after about two weeks of dating. It was a 14k gold ring set with a pearl. I was hesitant to accept it at the time, but I also recognized that as jewelry goes it wasn't top drawer. Plus, he could afford it. One should not spend what is not easily affordable so early in a dating relationship. I feel that way about long term relationships, too. If it's not easily affordable both parties should be realistic about it. Love is about how you treat someone all the time, not what you buy them.
Give her jewelry, give her a houseplant, a chocolate cake, a half hour foot massage, it shouldn't matter as long as you think she will like it and you can afford it.
My late DH forgot my birthday once in over 30 years . I wasn't upset or bothered. I was gleeful. I was always worried I would forget his birthday - I felt like I was give a free pass should it ever happen. He was so thoughtful with everyday expressions of affection, that I didn't need a mandatory present day to be made to feel loved and valued.
For my first birthday after we started going out, I asked my husband for a Swiss Army knife. (well, he asked what I wanted ) He got me The Lieutenant - it has everything on it, even a saw!! I still have it 30 yrs later.
Another personal story of mine, about flowers. These were given to me after a ceremony I attended where I received a meritorious service medal at work. Hubs, then boyfriend, bought me the most gorgeous bouquet of flowers.....they weren't an arrangement, but they were all pastel colors and all different kinds of flowers in paper tied with a ribbon. To this day I can see them in my head and they are the most beautiful flowers I've ever received. He knows this but he hardly remembers the flowers....but they sure made an impression on me.
I had to respond to this because your comment about the card made me laugh. Hubs and I decided a few years back that we did not need to get over-priced cards for one another (anymore) so we have cards that we re-use from that year and we just cross out the date and put a new date on it. We have a really good laugh over it every year.
Not to hijack the thread, but the rest of the family passed around a gift back (white with black polka dots) for YEARS. It was taped up, stapled, someone put a new ribbon on as the handle.....and it was a thrill each year to think who was gonna get 'the bag.'
I’ve been seeing a wonderful woman for about 7 months now so this will be our first Valentines Day and I really want to make it special but of course dont want to go overboard!
I plan to but her flowers, take her out to a nice dinner and wanted to also get her something really special. I have my eye set on a really great piece of jewelry that I think would carry a lot of meaning for her and would love for her to have it. But is that too much too soon? I dont want to come off in a way that might appear that I’m trying to impress with big spending or anything.
Second, flowers are must but is it true that women orefer to have them deliver to thier work over given in reason when picked up to go out? I kind of like the idea of in reason but I’m certainly not a woman so could use some advice!
I have a friend that is in the landscaping business and one Valentine's Day he spent the entire day landscaping and sculpting gorgeous hedges for his wife. They had just bought the house and there was no curb appeal at all. She often said she couldn't wait for him to do something. So, he did and it was gorgeous when he was finished, about the time she came home from work. Needless to say, she did not speak to him at all because he had not sent flowers to her place of employment so all the other women could be green with envy. I think a lifetime of hedges perfectly sculpted will last a little longer than 12 dried up flowers that look horrible after day 3. Not to mention the cost. She was more concerned with her embarrassment at work that her husband was not loving and thoughtful enough to send her a dozen roses to her workplace. It represented to her that he did not love her and the fear that all these other women would notice was all she could think about.
A noteworthy thought going forward... A Valentine is not a "what do you want" thing. A Valentine can cost under $1.00. A hand made card signed with love is all it takes. A "small" reminder to tell or show that special person that you care. It should not be a large, expensive gift. A $2.00 little teddy bear is the key to a woman's heart, so long as it came from her man. Don't overthink it or overspend it. But please don't ignore it either. Keep it sweet and small and everyone is happy.
I have a friend that is in the landscaping business and one Valentine's Day he spent the entire day landscaping and sculpting gorgeous hedges for his wife. They had just bought the house and there was no curb appeal at all. She often said she couldn't wait for him to do something. So, he did and it was gorgeous when he was finished, about the time she came home from work. Needless to say, she did not speak to him at all because he had not sent flowers to her place of employment so all the other women could be green with envy. I think a lifetime of hedges perfectly sculpted will last a little longer than 12 dried up flowers that look horrible after day 3. Not to mention the cost. She was more concerned with her embarrassment at work that her husband was not loving and thoughtful enough to send her a dozen roses to her workplace. It represented to her that he did not love her and the fear that all these other women would notice was all she could think about.
A noteworthy thought going forward... A Valentine is not a "what do you want" thing. A Valentine can cost under $1.00. A hand made card signed with love is all it takes. A "small" reminder to tell or show that special person that you care. It should not be a large, expensive gift. A $2.00 little teddy bear is the key to a woman's heart, so long as it came from her man. Don't overthink it or overspend it. But please don't ignore it either. Keep it sweet and small and everyone is happy.
Someone like her deserves a card scribbled with coal dust.
The man busted his ass to do something she wanted and she thanks him by hurling The Silent Treatment (Pat. Pend.) his way??? A pox on her!
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