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Sounds OK to me, I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, as you said, I may have missed something but if there is trust, there shouldn't be any wrongdoing on his part and no worries on hers. I am not the jealous type, so I can't really relate to the feelings of insecurity from your own husband, the one person that is supposed to have your back and love you and only you. That's where my "it's perfectly OK" perspective comes from. My husband did go on a lot of vacations with his friends but it just wasn't a problem. There were definitely problems for sure, very serious ones, but jealousy, distrust and insecurities were not any of them. I won't live with someone I'm scared to death will cheat on me every time he leaves town. Spring break or not, if she can't or won't trust him (regardless of the reasons) she should divorce him and find someone that she can have peace with if he wants to go on a guys trip. There is no reason for all this stress and unhappiness because of a trip.
I think with a lot of couples, it wouldn't be a big deal, to take separate vacations once in awhile. But there are a lot of extenuating circumstances at play here, that (IMO) make it a mistake to take this trip with his buddies.
They fight all the time. It seems like, to me, that if they've NEVER had a vacation together (and he hasn't answered that question, so I don't know) it would be rather painful to the wife that husband would rather spend time with the guys than with her. Or if one or both of them only have 1 week of vacation...it'd hurt (again) that he chose a vacation over her objections, to get away from her.
I personally get 5 weeks of vacation. My husband gets 2. I HAVE been known to take a vacation, a couple of times, that didn't include him...but I had way more vacation time than him to spend. He has been known to take a day or two or three, without me. It's OK. It's all OK...but we don't fight and/or make each other feel insecure.
Let's see, four guys (three of them single) in Miami Beach during spring break, hanging out on the beach, scads of attractive young nearly-naked college gals cavorting about, drinking what on earth could possibly go wrong?
We're all wired differently, but I'd have never even considered something like this. I never wanted a break from my wife. I always wanted more time with her.
Awww, that's sweet, Wabbit! You prove the people wrong, who say things like, "it's natural for married couples to get bored with each other", and "familiarity breeds contempt", and all sorts of negative cliches.
I have not read the whole thread, but i wonder if the OP has yet to have the wife spend a few hundred bucks on some new beach wear/sun wear/fun wear and enjoy a week in the sun with her husband? Maybe he has forgotten that she comes first now...and well before a guy's carouse to see what kind of trouble (in their mind, hot women) they can stir up.
Take her on a few vacations, dude, and then maybe...a very small maybe...you can run off with the guys on a little ogling to dream of things that never were.
All things considered, I think the wife has every right to be upset about this.
I don't think the OP is going there intending to cheat. I think he just wants to get away from everything and have fun partying with his friends (and that absolutely can be accomplished without cheating).
BUT, I think if the right opportunity presented itself...
I think this lack of trust hinders our marriage. Ok, I grasp that Miami is one of these " adult Disneyland" type locations by reputation, but, I don't think you can leap from " My husband is going to Miami" to " My husband is going to spend his nights hitting on every girl he crosses paths with".
We're only getting your version of the story. I have no way of knowing how (im)mature you have been around these kinds of issues, how much ogling she's seen you do, or anything like that. But you're both relatively young and the marriage is relatively young. If the trust doesn't exist then build it first. Or just be happy rather than "right" by foregoing this trip for something she's comfortable with. It's not like you have zero options here.
Oh really, Mr. New Forum Member? I am glad you joined and you can bless us with all your wisdom.
Are you kidding me? I have just as much of a right to reply to a post as you do. It may be against the rules to tell others not to post, in fact. What is wrong with you?
Exactly. I was a bachelor for a good part of my life. I know where the women are not. Men who complain about women invading their spaces can just turn the heat off. All it takes is a little discomfort. I don't remember running into a lot of chicks when I was fishing from a canoe, or on a motor bike. Gun ranges, and pick up basket ball were also not a real hot spots.
Women like to go to the beach. If you are going to the beach while being in a relationship with a woman, you are trying to stay away from each other if its going solo..
@ChicagoMade,
Take your wife to a beach which is warm, do some Jetskiing together, explore the area, enjoy some nice restaurants together...
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what on earth could possibly go wrong?
