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Secret's out. It was actually me. It just so happens Cowboy was my scene name when we met (mainly for my faaaaabulous chaps), and she refers to me as that online (and when she is in her my little pony little headspace) still to this day.
Ok. That might not be real, but now I have a choose your own adventure book plot in mind.
OMG
You made me choke on my coffee. Congrats. Breath play by snark, impressive. Well played, Sir.
No doubt she was super pissed that he was planning to leave her home while he went to check out boobs in bikinis with his single friends.
Adult men don’t need other men along to check-out/meet women; heck, it would be easier sans a vacation if that’s his intent. I’m not a betting man; but if I were, my money would be on the fact he’s gay. There is another thread which speaks to two men embarking on a ‘surprise’ bachelor party together - from Houston to SoCal. Yeah, pretty sure it’s his bride who will be surprised, lol. It’s not rocket science to determine it’s not a guys’ trip - in the normal sense of the word, anyway.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Roselvr
Unfortunately, this OP checked out a long time ago. Probably has not been back to show his face because we told him so.
It could also explain why he doesn’t want kids in his marriage; he’s checked out, and obviously he would be aware of such without anyone telling him. That he is trying to pin it on a guys’ trip or make it her issue, in a sense, speaks volumes - either way.
I could have sworn I posted in this thread when it first rolled into CDF, but it looks like I didn't. I sure as heck remember all the revelations from OP though.
People like OP really shouldn't get married - I really don't see the point.
Adult men don’t need other men along to check-out/meet women; heck, it would be easier sans a vacation if that’s his intent. I’m not a betting man; but if I were, my money would be on the fact he’s gay. There is another thread which speaks to two men embarking on a ‘surprise’ bachelor party together - from Houston to SoCal. Yeah, pretty sure it’s his bride who will be surprised, lol. It’s not rocket science to determine it’s not a guys’ trip - in the normal sense of the word, anyway.
It could also explain why he doesn’t want kids in his marriage; he’s checked out, and obviously he would be aware of such without anyone telling him. That he is trying to pin it on a guys’ trip or make it her issue, in a sense, speaks volumes - either way.
That never occurred to me but it could be true that he's gay.
A few of us thought he was using the "guy trip" to force his wife to be the bad guy by ending the marriage over it. That makes sense.
We've just gotten into the weeds on semantics and disconnects between literal and abstract approaches to ideas at times. Point was, whether I tend to see eye to eye with someone or not, when I think they've got a point, I think they've got a point.
Yeah that was with a wink/nod and I'm glad somebody caught the reference. I literally had to Google how to make that emoji because I don't think I've ever used it before. Not a habit I'm looking to pick up, I assure you.
To the thread subject and not the OP so much..
I'm about to make a little road trip up to Colorado where we moved from last year, to see my kids and some of our old friends. My husband is staying behind. Thing is... I'm going to stay in our friends' guest room, and it's a tight space. They have a big bed in a small room. There's barely room for one person to open a suitcase full of clothing. And they only have one bathroom, on top of that.
So if my husband goes, I feel like we would need to get a hotel room. And if we're going to do that, it's cheaper to find a pet friendly one and bring our cat, than to hire a petsitter for him, because he needs a special level of care due to some health issues. And if we did that we may as well look for a hotel room with a kitchenette so we could try and save a few bucks on food. And, too, we'd still have to hire help to look after my husband's elderly Dad and his cat (helping father in law is why we moved here)...
Not to mention that husband doesn't love road trips as much as I do, and the cat hates them. On my own I drive the 11-12 hours in one shot, with him we have to stop half way for the night. So it quickly starts getting more expensive and complicated if my husband also goes.
I still feed bad, though. I NEED to go, because I really need to see my sons about twice a year, I feel. But he'd enjoy seeing our friends and just having some time away. And my trip will have some fun, I will attend some parties with our old friends and have a good time. He trusts me fully and that's not an issue here at all, but... I love him and want him with me. It's just that I don't want to spend money we really don't have. /sigh. He's the one who suggested he stay behind, though. I was willing to find a way to make it work. I've done this once before and I was missing him; halfway through the trip I felt like I was ready to go back home. If it weren't for my kids, I probably wouldn't go, much as I love our friends and all.
Next year we've got more elaborate travel plans. I'm going to do two similar CO road trips on my own, but over the summer we will do a couple of trips for other (more fun) things together.
If he isn't a highly social person he might appreciate a little time to himself. A lot of us while we miss our SO when they go away for a bit also really like the alone time. I am in no way feeling deprived or missing out if my guy goes on a trip because I get the house to myself for a little while and that is gold.
I've tried to get her out of this anger by being extra sweet to her, bringing her flowers, more intimacy, things like that. She cynically sees it as me trying to " butter" her up.
OP, you state she cynically sees your effort as ‘trying to butter her up’, yet you distinctly acknowledge exactly that relative to the bolded. Apparently she’s spot-on, lol.
You’re attempting to control your wife’s feelings superficially rather than care about or discuss such. It’s a no-brainer this approach is not conducive to a solid marriage; it’s not rocket science to understand why she is suspicious of you. Logically, it all needs to be taken in context i.e. where you’re going as well as to why. There’s a difference between a night in Vegas for a bachelor party with old college buddies vs. days in Miami to lie on the beach or to nightclub with other guys. I’ve managed the former a few times; the latter wouldn’t enter my mind - not only because I have no interest to lie on a beach with another dude, but because I would enjoy my girlfriend’s presence in such an environment. In other words, what’s the rest of the story?
Okay, I'm not going to read this whole thread, but I've read enough to get the gist. Kids vs no kids means the marriage is unsustainable.
The history of the marriage matters. There are some marriages where the partners trust one another. There are also marriages where one person can take trips with "the guys" or "the girls" and the one who stays home wouldn't care, or they would both take their guys or girls trip at the same time. There are also marriages where the husband and wife prefer to spend their disposable travel money on things they do together. This doesn't seem to be one of them.
Then there are marriages where one or both people don't trust the other. There are marriages where one person wants more together time than the other. There are marriages where one person feels hurt from being excluded even though they do trust the other person. There are marriages where one person feels controlled. This seems to be one of them. It almost doesn't matter which one it is, who is right, who is wrong, blah blah blah, because the husband seems to have the attitude that his wife should "just get over it." That 'tude tells the other person you don't care about how they feel. No bueno for a marriage, when ostensibly your wife/husband is the person you love most in the world.
I hope for both of their sakes they broke up.
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He's the one who suggested he stay behind, though. I was willing to find a way to make it work. I've done this once before and I was missing him; halfway through the trip I felt like I was ready to go back home. If it weren't for my kids, I probably wouldn't go, much as I love our friends and all.
