Wife upset I'm going on guys' trip (cheat, sex, pregnant)
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I for one don't see the big deal with what you want to do... There must be some trust issues somewhere. If you wanted to cheat, you could just do it anywhere... You don't have to take a Miami trip to do that..
I for one don't see the big deal with what you want to do... There must be some trust issues somewhere. If you wanted to cheat, you could just do it anywhere... You don't have to take a Miami trip to do that..
The big deal is that his wife objects to him going. He claims he wants to go to get out of the cold weather and even though his single buddies will likely be partying and flirting, he isn't going to partake in any of that. He's going to sit on a lounge chair by the pool or ocean or maybe go jet skiing while his buds are trying to hook up. If he's not doing the things his friends are doing, then why go? Why not take his wife to a warm spot and get her out of the cold, too?
He's fooling no one. He wants a free pass to be a frat boy for a long weekend. He should be honest with his wife -- and himself -- and tell her that. Then let the chips fall where they may.
I'm the only one on this trip that isn't single. I'd be willing to bet that my buddies will be doing a fair amount of flirting, but, I won't be partaking. Kind of hard to flirt with a woman when you have a ring on and your phone background is you with your wife.
Aha. Well, there's part of y our answer. Also, she may be cognizant of what happens to guys when they get some alcohol in them. Especially partnered guys who are out carousing with their free-wheeling single buddies.
The big deal is that his wife objects to him going. He claims he wants to go to get out of the cold weather and even though his single buddies will likely be partying and flirting, he isn't going to partake in any of that. He's going to sit on a lounge chair by the pool or ocean or maybe go jet skiing while his buds are trying to hook up. If he's not doing the things his friends are doing, then why go? Why not take his wife to a warm spot and get her out of the cold, too?
Good point. And while we're at it, we might ask, why he has a posse of single guy friends. How long has he been married? Is this a young group, so his buddies from his single days just haven't found someone they want to marry yet? Is he friends with married guys/couples, too?
edit: Oh, wait. This is the guy who's having marital stress over pillows (among other things), AND they disagree on kids/no kids?
Hmmmmm.....
OP, I see you say the two of you are getting marriage counseling or "therapy" or whatever you called it. Have you two discussed this in the counseling environment?
Do you love your wife? If you did, you'd go on a getaway trip with her, not with a bunch of randy dudes. This trip proposal sounds like you've mentally given up on the marriage. If that's the case, you may as well pull the band-aid right off and file papers. If you still sincerely have hope of reconciling and falling back in love, you'd do what you could to re-kindle warm fuzzy feelings. This trip is not the way to do that.
Let me put it another way. Your marriage is already under a lot of stress. You two don't get along, as I recall. This trip is only adding fuel to that conflagration. Now you're fighting about the trip. This particular source of conflict is completely unnecessary, though. It's a choice you made. You could be making a very different choice; one that wouldn't add fuel to the barn burning.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 02-06-2022 at 10:48 AM..
The big deal is that his wife objects to him going. He claims he wants to go to get out of the cold weather and even though his single buddies will likely be partying and flirting, he isn't going to partake in any of that. He's going to sit on a lounge chair by the pool or ocean or maybe go jet skiing while his buds are trying to hook up. If he's not doing the things his friends are doing, then why go? Why not take his wife to a warm spot and get her out of the cold, too?
He's fooling no one. He wants a free pass to be a frat boy for a long weekend. He should be honest with his wife -- and himself -- and tell her that. Then let the chips fall where they may.
All I'm saying is that if he really wanted to cheat, he wouldn't have to take a vacation to do that...
I can't believe it took 11 replies before you said spring break. That was my first thought too. Yeah, why does a married guy need to go to Miami during spring break with his unmarried friends?
That atmosphere is why I jumped on the opportunity to leave Miami to work on a research project in Washington, DC area. Knowing what I know and seeing what I've seen, I do not believe for one moment that the OP is not going to spend his week merely getting some sun and having a few beers. The whole thing is offensive in its assumption that his wife doesn't know what goes on there.
His entire posting history is that of a man who should never have gotten married in the first place.
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