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Old 05-22-2008, 11:44 AM
 
40 posts, read 143,760 times
Reputation: 14

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I agree, it's not that difficult to walk the lady to her car and wish her a good night after a date. But men think otherwise, operantly
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:01 PM
 
Location: Bike to Surf!
3,080 posts, read 11,033,572 times
Reputation: 3022
Quote:
Originally Posted by JerZ View Post
People saying they decide whether or not to be polite, courteous, etc. based on what the other person does, aren't very firmly polite and courteous to begin with. They're just trying to do whatever will ensure that they get what they want out of it.

Not acting in a gentlemanly or ladylike way "because some people might not like it!" is an excuse for being who you really are--someone who doesn't want to be a gentleman or a lady. That's fine; there are non-gentlemen and non-ladies out there and you'll find one. But be honest and don't pin the blame on someone else's reactions. It's very transparent.

People who cry out the loudest about how there are "no gentlemen" or "no ladies" so "why try anyway?" are engaging in self-fulfilling prophecy. They either have outright acted/spoken in ways that prove they're not going to give one inch when it comes to courtesy, or their general demeanor, expression, swagger or what-have-you say it for them. Hence, the real gentlemen and real ladies are staying away from them and they are only attracting the "feminists" or brutes. Therefore it seems like "there is no chivalry/kindness any more!" It's human nature and again, some people don't *want* chivalry or gentle treatment from a male or a female. But for those who do, I can say from experience, look to yourself first to see why there don't seem to be any good people around. There are. They're just avoiding you because of your preconceived notions about *them*.
QFT = Quoted For Truth!
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:12 PM
 
2,546 posts, read 6,856,728 times
Reputation: 2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Man in SATX View Post
I would have to agree with you on that.. and I for one would walk over to open the doors and such things. But you have to understand that the men of the world are acting this way because the problem with the world is.. the women have forgotten how to be "ladies". The equal rights stuff has gotten to a point where they would rather kick your ass then act nice ... and god forbid if you are a gentleman.. woman would rather be with someone who will use and abuse them.. and then later drop them.. and guess what.. they move on to the next abuser... (I dont literally mean abuse though, I mean using them in the sexual way or whatever they can get out of the woman).

The nice guys (chivalrous) never act stupid (well almost never) and therefore are branded as "boring" and never get a chance with a lot of women. So in order to get a date with someone .. you actually have to act like an ******* to peak a woman's interest. You understand?
Thanks. No guy has to act like an ass in order to get my attention.
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Old 05-22-2008, 12:20 PM
 
Location: NY
2,011 posts, read 3,865,099 times
Reputation: 918
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fat Freddy View Post
So to be treated politely and with respect women have to be subservient?

I doubt if my wife or my daughter would agree with that.
Where in my post did I mention subservient? I also never said men should not be polite or respectful. I said women want to be treated the same as men that's fine but they should not expect special treatment in some circumstances but not others. Can't pick and choose. People should be respectful of others no matter their gender. Do not put words in my mouth. Thank you.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:13 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,816,274 times
Reputation: 7058
What happens if he didn't want to come across as a stalker or as obsessive?
He gave you space in my opinion.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Autumn07 View Post
FYI- I don't consider myself royalty. So there is nothing to get over! I'm not any better or higher than anyone else in the world. I'm certainly not needy- I've been single far more than I have been in a relationship because I refuse to date a jerk. I'm not looking for perfection, no one is perfect anyway and I don't think I am expecting to much from a guy.
I shouldn't have to hint to a guy that I would like him to walk me back to my car. A gentlemen would do so without having to ask.
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Old 05-22-2008, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,576,011 times
Reputation: 8681
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
What happens if he didn't want to come across as a stalker or as obsessive?
Any guy who can't tell the difference between being a gentleman and being a stalker shouldn't be allowed out into the real world, much less allowed to have contact with women.
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Old 05-22-2008, 04:13 PM
 
25,157 posts, read 53,816,274 times
Reputation: 7058
forget it. it is no use speaking on this thread.
Quote:
Originally Posted by SifuPhil View Post
Any guy who can't tell the difference between being a gentleman and being a stalker shouldn't be allowed out into the real world, much less allowed to have contact with women.
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Old 05-22-2008, 04:14 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,940 posts, read 21,576,011 times
Reputation: 8681
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
forget it. it is no use speaking on this thread.
LOL - now you know how I feel sometimes...
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Old 05-22-2008, 04:18 PM
 
2,546 posts, read 6,856,728 times
Reputation: 2010
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
What happens if he didn't want to come across as a stalker or as obsessive?
He gave you space in my opinion.
What in the world?!! Since when is walking a girl to her car considered a stalker??
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Old 05-22-2008, 04:23 PM
 
Location: SW France
16,552 posts, read 17,323,114 times
Reputation: 29770
I have stumbled across this thread and have not gone through it.

I would like to recall the tale of a man who holds the door open for a woman who says to him 'I hope you are not doing that just because I am a lady.'

To which he replies 'No, it is because I am a gentleman.'

The age of chivalry is partly in decline because the recepient does not know how to properly accept the act of kindness.
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