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The question isn't "is chivalry dead?" the question is "have women taken chivalry off of their 'Im into a guy who...' list and have men responded as a result".
Examples: I am a basicaly a loser and have never had a girlfriend: BUT, there are certain old-school rules I still follow for reasons that, for the life of me, I don't know why (yahh, aside from being against sexism, imperialism, racism, xenophobia and homophobia I am still a victorian at heart, hence the name victorianpunk)
Some of the rules: when dropping a lady off, get out the car, walk her to her door, and wait for her to get into the door and count to twenty before walking back to the car. Once in the car, county to thirty before pulling off. Never ask a lady to go inside, EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO USE THE BATHROOM BADLY. Allow her to invent you in. Reason: you don't want to look like you want to get laid, and you should make sure some hidden ruffian is not planning anything unsavory for the lady, hence, you make sure she's okay.
NEVER have a lady stand between yourself and the curb. The man must keep the woman on the inside side of him, keeping himself between the street and the lady: Reason, if a car or horse-drawn carriage or ruffian were to come speeding off the street, it is I who takes the brunt of the damage, not the lady.
When sitting at a public table, the lady, if sitting next to you, must sit at your left hand side: reason: to keep your sword/pistol arm free.
The lady should always walk behind you: Reason, so that you can open doors for her, which is, of course, non-negotiable.
Always stand when ever a lady enters or leaves the sitting area. Reason....well, if you rise for some corrupt-arse judge, don't you think you should do so for a lady?
And how to women respond to this rules of mine? that's how. They look at me like I am from another planet. Guys like me, who treat women with respect, are looked at like their is something wrong with us while some big ruffian named "Biff" who does not respect women any further than he can throw his SUV has females throwing themselves at him.
Bottom line: It is not that chivalry is dead, but rather than "Chivalrious" and "gentlemanly" have been replacing as desierable by "bad boys" and "bad arse" and, as a result, many men try to conform with the new expectations.
Also, as for "sexism"...yes, I know good and well that women are more than capable of doing things for themselves, but I do not think that should stop me from being nice and doing it for them. I actually like an independent woman and would prefer a more "homely" looking woman who can thing for herself over a mindless "Stepford Wife" anyday.
But notice what I said, that chivalry is, at it's heart, being nice, and where do nice guys finish?...
You might find one if he's 30 and over an old school kind of guy.The way children are being brought up these days with the t.v,music,computer you are not gonna find that gent anywhere.I don't know how old you are but if you're in the ages between 18 and 30 you're gonna be hard pressed to find a gentleman these days.The young adults i see out there are not the ones i saw when i was growing up.There was more respect for human life in my time.nowadays most people don't have manners or respect for anyone.
THIS IS NOT TRUE! You're different. Revel in the difference.
A lot of your "rules" are unique... very old-school, followed by very few... but there's nothing wrong with them. I think you would have to tell any woman with whom you get involved that you do this because you think it's the right thing to do, not because you feel that women are incapable of taking care of themselves.
mean streets and assertiveness training gone wild, do not produce knights in shining armor. many a dragon and knight has been eaten by a "damsel in distress".
sorry you had a bad dating experience. did i ever tell you about my internet date i flew to nashville to meet turned out to be quasimoto? i know its hard to believe but women do bad stuff to guys too, evil is genderless. hang in there my CD sister.
chin up.
I've been working on him... see, he's got a good heart, but he has been too shallow. He's basically a skirt-chaser... a "hot body" is way too high on his list of criteria. He has always hated being single, so he used to stick with girls who treated him badly when, by rights, he should've dumped them. This was his pattern back in the day, and then he eventually got sick of how girls were treating him and he mistakenly blamed it on the girls rather than on his lack of guts and fear of singleness. Nowadays he just likes having a girl, for the "benefits"... if you know what I mean... and he isn't really caring about whether or not the girls he "dates" (ahem) are marriage material. However, he does want to find "the one", get married and have kids, etc. He just doesn't see that happening now... not surprising, given that he lives in central New Jersey and he's stuck mostly with typical young Jersey girls. He's one of those people who doesn't think about the future because the future ain't here yet. He lives for today, and doesn't even think about tomorrow.
When he grows up, he'll be one hell of a man. Until then, I have to keep working on him. It's amazing that my wife is a year younger than he is, but yet so much more grown-up than he is... *sigh*
That sucks that since girls use to treat him badly he decided to start treating girls badly. Who doesn't like looks but looks aren't everything. If someone isnt beautiful no one wants anything to do with them and they are considered worthless in this society- that is so wrong.
I've never been one who was okay with the idea of "friends with benefits"- that is the problem with this world, so many guys are that way and only care about getting some.
We women mature alot faster than men- that is why your wife is alot more mature than your brother.
I've been working on him... see, he's got a good heart, but he has been too shallow. He's basically a skirt-chaser... a "hot body" is way too high on his list of criteria. He has always hated being single, so he used to stick with girls who treated him badly when, by rights, he should've dumped them. This was his pattern back in the day, and then he eventually got sick of how girls were treating him and he mistakenly blamed it on the girls rather than on his lack of guts and fear of singleness. Nowadays he just likes having a girl, for the "benefits"... if you know what I mean... and he isn't really caring about whether or not the girls he "dates" (ahem) are marriage material. However, he does want to find "the one", get married and have kids, etc. He just doesn't see that happening now...
This is so common with young people today, and yes I have this problem and I'm working on it. I think you could easily switch the words to describe a girl, and it would fit most of the women his age that he's dating as well. It's like a game of chicken. Both young men and women (and often older ones) say they want a long-term healthy relationship, but they aren't willing to take any sort of initiative to foster one.
You might find one if he's 30 and over an old school kind of guy.The way children are being brought up these days with the t.v,music,computer you are not gonna find that gent anywhere.
I beg to differ, as TV, music and the internet our how I learned my "weird habits" *sigh* as the females here refer to them, and I am not quite 27 years old.
I learned manners from Capt. Picard and dramas set in Victorian/Edwardian times, learned about ( The Age of Innocence, Great Expectations "the 1946 version," The Phantom of the Opera etc) and westerns. As for music...not everyone under thirty likes that "shake that big BOOOTY MOMMMA!" crap "sung" by Gangstalicious. This is my favorite song about being with a woman... YouTube - The Gathering Homelands Tour Slide Show followed by this: YouTube - Ghost Love Score-Nightwish both of which are sold in the "heavy metal" section of my local music shop.
But, the issue...guys like me are losers. Are you going to find someone under 30 who is a gentleman? Sure...is he going to be six two and build like an underwear model and be a millionaire? No. I'm in pretty shape (average build) but short (5'3) and don't have a ton of money. That is the problem, too many woman want the "James Bond" myth of a guy who is both hot AND a gentleman....or, if you don't believe Bond was a gentleman, use the covers of those RIDICULOUS Harlequin novels as an example: a tall, buff, dashing hero on everyone of them. Usually, in real life, the real hero is the fellow who is a little short, balding, and not well dress and not in the best shape and it is the villian is the HOT fellow. Sorry, but it is usually one of the other.
Last edited by victorianpunk; 05-21-2008 at 01:09 PM..
I think you would have to tell any woman with whom you get involved that you do this because you think it's the right thing to do, not because you feel that women are incapable of taking care of themselves.
Like I said, it's not that I WANT a damsel in distress. The opposite: when the you-know-what hits the fan, I want a woman who can hold her own just as well, if not more so, than I can. Showing respect is allot different from saying "you can't take care of yourself", which is something the hairy feminazis need to realize...AND 99% OF THEM ARE LESBIANS ANYWAY, SO WHY THE HELL DO THEY CARE ABOUT A MAN OPENING A DOOR FOR A LADY?
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that's how. They look at me like I am from another planet. Guys like me, who treat women with respect, are looked at like their is something wrong with us while some big ruffian named "Biff" who does not respect women any further than he can throw his SUV has females throwing themselves at him. 
It's amazing that my wife is a year younger than he is, but yet so much more grown-up than he is... *sigh*
