New Guy, Not Rushing, Feeling Uncomfortable buy Excited? (how to, dance, kids)
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Maybe I'm old-fashioned but I can't see how you can meet someone in person for the first time after sexting. I've always thought if something mattered to me or another person, we'd be careful with it, not blatantly sexual.
So he suggested plans a couple nights from now after work. I told him I had asked a girlfriend of mine out to dinner that night, which was true, but she never confirmed. So I told him I'd let him know as soon as she gave me an answer. She turned down plans, because that night was bad for her, so I let him know I was free that night. Now he's saying he's going to make sure his friends weren't thinking plans that night and he'll let me know. He's essentially doing what I did to him back. Was I in the wrong? Isn't that odd?
So he suggested plans a couple nights from now after work. I told him I had asked a girlfriend of mine out to dinner that night, which was true, but she never confirmed. So I told him I'd let him know as soon as she gave me an answer. She turned down plans, because that night was bad for her, so I let him know I was free that night. Now he's saying he's going to make sure his friends weren't thinking plans that night and he'll let me know. He's essentially doing what I did to him back. Was I in the wrong? Isn't that odd?
No. He asked YOU out for that date... now he needs to check? That is BS.
This is the point where I would cut the cord.
That was beyond rude, for whatever reason.
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Mandi, I'm going to give you some tough love here. Cut off this nonsense. Now. He's jerking you around and you haven't even met yet. Imagine how much worse it will be when he ghosts you after you go out a couple of times and sleep with him. You'll think you are in love and he'll go radio silent. Think how much worse you will feel then. He's not the guy for you. A guy who is interested will stay in contact and make in-person plans and keep them. He will not play stupid games like this. You know this. Have some respect for yourself.
So he suggested plans a couple nights from now after work. I told him I had asked a girlfriend of mine out to dinner that night, which was true, but she never confirmed. So I told him I'd let him know as soon as she gave me an answer. She turned down plans, because that night was bad for her, so I let him know I was free that night. Now he's saying he's going to make sure his friends weren't thinking plans that night and he'll let me know. He's essentially doing what I did to him back. Was I in the wrong? Isn't that odd?
You aren't wrong. He is playing games. He could have just offered up another time when you first told him you had tentative plans with a friend. When you said "I offered to take my friend Sarah out that night, let me check with her" he could have said, "I could meet Thursday if that's better."
So he suggested plans a couple nights from now after work. I told him I had asked a girlfriend of mine out to dinner that night, which was true, but she never confirmed. So I told him I'd let him know as soon as she gave me an answer. She turned down plans, because that night was bad for her, so I let him know I was free that night. Now he's saying he's going to make sure his friends weren't thinking plans that night and he'll let me know. He's essentially doing what I did to him back. Was I in the wrong? Isn't that odd?
Mandi, making plans shouldn't be this complicated. It sounds like you've had to almost beg this guy to meet up. Not only does that make you come across as desperate, but it also sets a bad tone and puts you in a position where he'll feel he can take advantage of you. Don't do this to yourself. This guy is no prize.
Mandi, it doesn't matter whether or not you or he are "in the wrong." It's not a contest.
This man is either really off on his dating game and general social skills after having been off the dating market for three years or he's just not that keen to meet you in person. The reason why I say such a thing is that a person who has reasonably good social skills would have, after you said that you might have other plans on such and such a date/time would have countered with a suggestion of an alternative date/time even if it was just a quick meetup at a Starbucks that was convenient to both of you.
Do the two of you live within thirty minutes or less of one another? If so, it's hard for me to think of a reasonable excuse that this man might have for *not* having met you by now. "Taking it slow" is a b.s. excuse. Don't apologize or make excuses for him as his few actions with you are saying quite the opposite.
So he suggested plans a couple nights from now after work. I told him I had asked a girlfriend of mine out to dinner that night, which was true, but she never confirmed. So I told him I'd let him know as soon as she gave me an answer. She turned down plans, because that night was bad for her, so I let him know I was free that night. Now he's saying he's going to make sure his friends weren't thinking plans that night and he'll let me know. He's essentially doing what I did to him back. Was I in the wrong? Isn't that odd?
OF COURSE IT'S ODD!!!
HE'S BLOWING YOU OFF!!! AND YOU'RE LETTING HIM!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mikala43
No. He asked YOU out for that date... now he needs to check? That is BS.
This is the point where I would cut the cord.
That was beyond rude, for whatever reason.
As Mikala said: it's TOTAL BS. If HE suggested a particular night, WHY would he now need to CHECK to see if he is available???
What a piece of work. DO NOT LET HIM DO THIS TO YOU!!
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